Acceptance is a “Wonderful Daily Wisdom Word”, to write about, especially when your personality is similar to mine.
Acceptance, is perhaps one of the most “difficult” wisdom words to not only understand, and comprehend, but Utilize in one’s life.
Why do I bring up, “someone like me?” Before I was forced to retire, (believe me, I fought that one hard), due to medical conditions, I was in sales. When someone told me ” no, Samantha, we aren’t going to purchase, xyz, all I heard, was “no, spelt know”. Samantha, we need to “KNOW” more, before we can purchase.
I never gave up. Not with my sales position, and not in my personal life. In fact, I was so sure, of myself, I was “confident” I knew what was best for others.
I saw an angle of a conversation so passionately, I would do my very best, (especially in my personal life) to literally “create” what was not there”
I talked to my ex boyfriend recently, who I was madly in love with, and because that is the way, I FELT, I simply assumed he felt that way as well. I thought simply because he was the “one” at one point in my life, he must have felt the same. After all, how could I love him so deeply and him not love me back? 2 reasons..One, he was seeing other women, and 2., he described our time together as very special!! THAT WAS IT!! How very insulting, but had I accepted the first clear “Road Block”, I would have saved myself so much pain and agony!! To me, with what I had “accepted” for my truth, he most certainly, had to feel the same, BUT, let us stop for a moment and visit reality. He would be with me today if that were the case.
After all, he was still professing his love for me, on the way out the door, and in all fairness to myself, I did make it clear to him three years prior when we started the relationship, he must be ready to let his previous relationship go, which involved children of hers from another marriage.
He insisted he was through with the relationship, and I knew he loved her children, and I was great with him seeing them as I thought that was sweet. What I was told, was she didn’t want him “exposing her children to me”. (although she had never met me.).
I found later, that when it was convenient, in getting her way, she “used” her children as a tool to manipulate, my boyfriend, who instead of keeping his word and closing the door on that relationship to healthily start another, kept the fact he was seeing her, and the children, every week from me for over a year.
I was SO SURE I was right about this man and he loved me as I did Him: With all my heart….
I had no clue he was texting her asking how “their babies were”, and having family outings for one year. Then, one day, he “slipped and called me her name…..As you can imagine, I was not a happy camper. Instead of “accepting” he obviously had a thing for her, from my viewpoint, he was in love with me as he said, and I refused to let go because he talked me into staying, saying she meant nothing. Why? Because word for word, that is what he said to me. However, his actions, which always speak louder than words, showed otherwise.
Still, I had a clear choice, which obviously looking back, was to break it off. Oh no, Not me!!
I was going to change him and make him accept-able husband material as he claimed to want a future with me.
Long story shorter, here we are. He hasn’t changed at all. We stopped seeing each other 15 months
ago, and he is STILL seeing the kids and her as a family UNIT. Had I “ACCEPTED” this the first time I had a suspicion, imagine the heart ache I would have avoided.
Life is full of good and full of bad. The key or answer to the mystery we call ” life” is somewhere between answers, and acceptance. I can tell you “avoidance” answers no questions. Avoidance is the antonym of “acceptance”. Learn from my story and choose the latter in your life when dealing with life altering situations. After all, these, are the directions we follow to begin a new path in life we will, at the very least, learn from. SL