Denial

Which world do you live in?  Do you live in the world of honesty with yourself and others, or,
are you living in a world of Denial?

What does the Webster have to say about the type of denial I am referring to:

1.  Refusal to admit the truth, of a statement or charge.  2. Assertion, that something alleged, is false.when in fact, it is true.
Wisdom Word Definition:  Denial:  The way in which we live our lives. 2.  A justification we use and believe, that helps us avoid taking accountability for our actions.   Do we live in                                                               Truth, or do we live in Denial?

I will start with “where I lived” and follow up with where I live now, and if any of today’s words, “singing a familiar tune”, or there is something you find yourself relating with, and need help,reach out to AA or a support group like that if you wish to remain anonymous.  I also will respond to any emails I receive with what knowledge I have learned through the years that might apply to you.

I have suffered with Alcohol Addiction years ago.  I found “Denial” was my best friend!  If I didn’t want to take responsibility for what I could not remember from the night before, I found denial was perfect!   No blame on myself…Not only could I drink myself into oblivion when things got rough, I could do this, and my best friend, (DENIAL), took full Accountability and Responsibility so I didn’t have to.

Pathetically, I also found, if anything went wrong in my life, I could play the “blame game”, (this is how denial plays out), and the only actions I was able to take responsibility for were the ones I blamed on others.  I was a very sick person, and I did not know it until “consequences became such, (receiving a DWI), I had hit what is known as my bottom.

Other than God, there is no one in my life that controls what I do,with all of my actions, good or bad, but me. Simply put, I now realize I have full accountability for my actions BY LIVING IN TRUTH. Some of That, came to me the day after receiving my 4th of July”gift”.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had just made the first big stride towards living in TRUTH, so yes, the DWI was a gift.

Long story short, I went to AA, accepted myself as flawed and human, an realized I was no longer in control;  the addiction was.    Denial and I were no longer BFF’s as I moved toward recovery.
I thanked God for the angels that must have been watching over me..  I had been traveling down a one way road, going the opposite.direction not only in reality, but in DENIAL.  It hit me like a smack to the face:  how I could had hurt others, and myself with my actions and distanced the friends who had similar habit patterns.  I finally realized, I could not control their actions, but I COULD CONTROL mine!

That was many years ago, and I believe, our “WISDOM” comes from making the CHOICE to LEARN from our MISTAKES.

Addiction goes hand in hand with denial.  Addiction, which I have posted on, covers a broad gamut of issues.  The worse the addiction, the worse the denial. Denial, is the leading cause of FAILED RECOVERY.  WE have an EGO, and I truly believe it has a voice.  our “EGO” or E mulating G od O urselves, (my anagram), telling us we are “in control”!  We lie to ourselves, living in dishonesty,,and sometimes, WAIVERING on both sides of the fence with Honesty, and Dishonesty and sadly, Addiction often wins. There are times, we take our hard lessons and deny facing them.

DENIAL CAN HEAL OR KILL.  YES, IF YOU HAVE BEEN SUFFERING INSIDE,  YOU ARE  DOING  SOME SOUL SEARCHING ON, BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE YOU MAY HAVE A PROBLEM WHICH INVOLVES OBSESSION, DENIAL, ABUSE IN USE OF A SUBSTANCE WHICH CHANGES YOUR STATE OF MIND.  Denial, is part of this “skewed” mindset, and IF you find yourself, crossing the line to live in Honesty or Dishonesty, your probably getting close to making changes in your life.

Living a life in dishonesty, is by far the saddest way to live.  At the end of the day, it is you who is cheated, and those that love you.  They want to help you.  Wouldn’t you rather live your life in HONESTY, dealing with the ups and downs, admitting fault to others we may have wronged in some way, and taking responsibility of our lives and actions.   How do you feel at the end of the day?  ALIVE, almost a high in itself.  You are now growing and changing.  The other option?  Our addiction make our choices each day, and before we know it, .

You will eventually fall if this is the case, so if your wavering, with your thinking about what you’ve been in denial about, look around.  There are loved ones waiting, arms extended, with love in the hearts, for YOU.  God works in mysterious ways.  Strangers along our journey in life, are there to help out of the blue.  There are programs, for behavioral modification, and of course, Alcoholics Anonymous, narcotics anonymous, and there are answers you find, that are real, no longer in Denial, and Part of the Solution, Not the Problem!  We have begun living in TRUTH.

We are all creatures of habit.  Habits can be good or bad.  Being aware of your thoughts, and actions with yourself and others is the beginning of a whole new life. A beautiful life, because you are finally, LIVING it.  A child is surrounded in God’s light love and protection.  We all have CHOICES IN LIFE. WE start by being honest with ourselves.  We can feel peace again, instead of teeter- tottering in the dark.  Personally, I prefer living in the light so I can see.

Denial is also used when one does not have the “Tools” to deal with LIFE, or has chosen to put them away.  We are all a work in progress…Don’t overwhelm yourself.  Denial is a serious issue, not only with addiction,.  We have issues taking accountability.

lf, any of this rang true, for you, there is help in every direction, if you reach out..  Remember when you were  a child  Innocent and free?  I believe we can find peace through facing our truths in life, and although it may be painful at times, with work, we do see positive changes, with honesty, leaving denial behind, one day at a time., doing the best we can, gaining peace, like we once had as a child.along our way….  . SL

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6 years ago

Denial, is often clothed in "deceit"…..

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