What is grief and why do we have to experience such an unpleasant emotion?

Let us first take a look at the Webster Dictionary Meaning of grief-1.  deep sorrow especially caused by someones death.

Daily Wisdom Word Meaning of Grief-1.  an emotion attached to some form of loss to something/someone you cared about.

Grief happens in five stages according to the Kubler-Ross model.  These five stages happen chronologically, and occur in this order:  1.  Denial  2.  anger 3.  bargaining,  4.  depression  5.  Acceptance

Grief and these  five stages are normal when losing someone and although most common to happen in chronological order, don’t always happen that way.  If you talk to someone that has been through grief, they may experience it a different way.

If you talk to counselors and Psychologists, they will tell you that grief is experienced differently depending on who has lost the individual they are grieving about.  Some people celebrate the death of someone otherwise known as a wake rather than a funeral.  Others do nothing but cry.  Grief is sad to me.  From the people I have lost closest to me in life, I stick more to the model of grief, first going through denial.

When I first lost my father, five years ago,  the first thing I remember thinking was I just could not believe he was gone.  It always seemed that my father was so strong he would live on forever, and I couldn’t believe he was diagnosed with a terminal illness to begin with.  He was diagnosed with Brain Cancer which is supposed to be extremely painful, but looking at him until about five days before his death, you couldn’t tell he was dying or experiencing pain, so the first stage of my grief was definitely denial.  Then, came anger.  I felt logically I didn’t have the right to feel angry because he had lived 87 years of life, but I found myself angry over his death anyway.

The next stage of grief, bargaining, I also found myself doing.  I found myself negotiating with God.  I found myself asking him to roll back time, and take his death back.  That of course, didn’t happen.  The next stage of grief I found myself feeling was depression.  I would think of him all the time and miss him.  Finally there was acceptance.  I still felt sad, but I had definitely accepted the fact he was gone.

Grief is experienced differently by everyone any professional will tell you and doesn’t always follow textbook stages such as the ones I’ve described.  Everyone is different and so is our grief.

Thank you for reading about grief with me today.  I appreciate you reading my posts and thank you for your poems and quotes and stories about each days daily wisdom word.

Samantha Leboeuf/Daily Wisdom Words

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