When we evaluate, HONESTY, we must also evaluate deception. Deception begins, with an inability to be honest with yourself. Are you honest with yourself, and others? First, in order to communicate honesty to others, you must be honest with yourself, as true honesty comes from the heart.
Honesty, in my 20 year old Webster Dictionary, is “truthfulness. free from deception. Genuine; real/with integrity. Have you ever told a lie? We all have lied from time to time, even sometimes, telling it, to save another’s feelings. These lies, however unjustified, came from the heart.
Honesty, starts with a heart full of good intentions. Sometimes, when we have done something wrong, and we accidentally hurt another, and don’t admit it, we find we utilize more lying, to continue to cover what we did to hurt another. In fact, we are in a maze of lies, at this point, and like a maze, we have a difficult time finding our way back to the truth. Without truth, there is no honesty, and unintended Deception starts in a statement, often made, without thinking the statement through. That is why we should remain cognizant at all times, to respond,(wait 5 seconds before speaking), rather than react, which sets the stage for defensive behavior and excusing bad behavior, which leads to more lies. REMEMBER: When asked a question, you know the answer to, but remain silent, you have been DISHONEST.
There is another form of honesty known as, “Brutal Honesty”. Some people take the truth, and use it as a defense mechanism to hurt others, or they feel threatened, by you in some way. Brutal honesty, does not come from the heart. Brutal honesty, comes from the mind, and can hurt another persons feelings, to protect us from facing the truth, about ourselves.
There are also those that are incapable of the truth, and actually believe their own lies, and use what they view as the “truth”, to manipulate others. These people are otherwise known as “Sociopaths” and make up approximately 3-4% of our population. Sociopaths, live a “lifestyle” of lies.
In 1997, a man named Marshall Applewhite, talked 37 people into killing themselves. How did he do this?
By proclaiming, and convincing these people he, was Jesus Christ.
He really believed his own lies. He not only was incapable of honesty, he was very capable with deception and manipulation. Even worse, he believed his own lies.
Sociopaths, are the exact polar opposites of the meaning of the honesty, and sometimes, to really look at the meaning of the truth, we must look at its antonym.
Because there are many people searching for their truth, and purpose in life, Sociopaths, have a broad audience to work with, when dealing their cards of deception. These people are very intelligent, incapable of telling the truth, most often, charming, with a sexual charisma of some type, incapable of remorse, and empathy and not capable of apologizing. They emulate others behaviors, by studying their empathy and remorse, as they are not able to feel or account for their actions. They are masters of dishonesty.
When we do not tell the truth, and lie to another, we are full of guilt, regret, and remorse. At this point, we want to make amends, and know in our hearts, best thing to do, is admit the truth to the person you’ve deceived, and apologize.
If you catch someone in a lie, and they continue to lie to cover it, and then, without admitting the truth, and continually work on convincing you of their “truth”, by manipulating the lies they have told not only their words are fiction, but so are they. Most of these people, are Sociopaths, begin by manipulation, interweaving facts with fiction, having leadership qualities, and dramatic religious or political point of views, and last but not least, DO NOT APOLOGIZE, when you call them out on lies you catch them in, watch out.
I value the truth. The truth, truly is the road that takes on a journey with an ultimate destination, to and from the heart. There is no maze to get lost in.
“A Heart filled with honesty is a Mind filled with Integrity” SL
It is very important we value the truth, because honesty with yourself, and others, means you can take accountability for your actions, are able to feel remorse, and certainly when in the wrong, apologize! Remember: We are a work in progress, not perfection! Keep in mind, not all people in life are capable of being honest. This character defect, can affect others, and infect others when their lies are used to manipulate. Be cognizant and accountable for your own behavior and beware of those that are not, and make excuses when at fault. Pray for honesty, and the ability to be tactful with it, so you are not unkind, when confronting another. “A heart filled with honesty, is a mind full of integrity.” SL