HOW IMPORTANT DO YOU FEEL “INTIMACY” IS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
I enjoy launching into, what may be the “MOST IMPORTANT DAILY WISDOM WORD” I have ever written on! I place this under a future chapter in my future book, called’ “Wise Wisdom Words”. Without intimacy, most relationships carry the glue to stay together, BUT THEY WILL NEVER BE THE FULLEST CAPACITY, or best the Relationship could have been or will be.
In order for a relationship to involve intimacy, it MUST have a solid foundation built on mutual trust, love, and joint respect for the other.
(INTIMACY)=TRUST=LOVE=PASSION=PROACTIVE LISTENING=RESPECT=SEXUAL CONNECTION=LONG-TERM SUCCESS? YES
First, let us take a look at the meaning of this word, which I find very “interesting”
Webster Definition:– Latin meaning: (“intus within”) 1. Most private or personal 2. Very close or familiar 3. Deep and thorough , an intimate friend, to “Hint or Imply”.
Daily Wisdom Word Meaning: 1. An absolute necessity in a romantically charged relationship. 2. Bonding to another, by physical, verbal and eye contact. 3. Illicit and wonderful, or dangerously close to the heart, only possible between two people actively involved.
Actively involved, immediately makes most of us think of sex, or intimacy. Not necessarily so. Daily Wisdom Words is about sharing an educated OPINION, so when I write, it is from my perspective and research I did with the help of others, finding out my opinion, is not that of others, sometimes.
In order for a relationship to involve intimacy, it MUST have a “trusting foundation”.
According to one study I read, MOST Men, will immediately think of sex. If you pose the words, “Two People Actively, “INVOLVED” Sometimes, intimacy is the “slow and deliberate effort to become very close to someone, but must be shared in a mutual effort to share full intimacy, and it takes both parties efforts to build it. It is also sexual, in its Webster description, (just touching on that 3 letter word we can’t say in front of little ones, sex.)
“Intimacy, isn’t having SEX with someone. Intimacy is the stoking of the fire, that ignites the flame within us, behind our walls, most of us have up, so strong, and powerful, it is able to knock those walls within one another, down.” Sex is no longer “just sex”. You both make love.
In order for there to be intimacy, there are other ingredients that must be added, such as passion, bonding, and Chemistry, prelude, and that special key that unlocks one soul, connecting it to another, with emotional passion ignited from the stroking of the fire within us. This kind of intimacy, can make a sexual experience, so meaningful, and begins the very moment we are alone, and in the atmosphere to “connect and share” because through the illusive, “chemistry” that brought us here, we now have a foundation to build intimacy on, and most importantly, we add TRUST and COMMUNICATION to the mix, and it is not an easy recipe if you want the real thing but well worth it if your goal is to share your life with another.
For true intimacy to exist, one must have started the prelude, prior to seeing that person for intimacy to begin laying its ground work, and this initiation, should be shared by both people involved. INTIMACY IS DIVERSE AND THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS. It is not about just the PHYSICAL, but includes NOT ONLY THE PHYSICAL INTIMACY BUT, PSYCHOLOGICAL INTIMACY AND EMOTIONAL INTIMACY FOR THE PUREST FORM OF INTIMACY TO PLAY THE NECESSARY INTRICATELY ROLE IN A RELATIONSHIP and intimacy is required for any relationship to work long-term, and mean more than a cohabitation after 50 years.
Being Thoughtful, is such a wonderful quality. Make a phone call for no reason to the other, letting them know you love them and were just thinking of them.
In order to see them and what we said on the phone or text. “looking forward to spending time with you”, (Prelude), thoughtfulness, awareness of the other person’s needs in all ways and doing your best to take care of them or share how this will be done, over a period of time, because intimacy, almost always involves a “serious relationship.
Intimacy, requires, effort, all of the time, even when you are arguing, because if intimacy is not there, neither is trust, or proper communication, or an understanding of the others feelings.
I think without intimacy, and just having sex with someone you don’t care for, you lose your ability to objectively see the difference between sex and making love, over time, because there is no difference between the two. WE CAN “play the role”, of being intimate, but when it is sincere, there is nothing like two souls connecting, and communicating with eachother.
What is “Emotional Intimacy”? In order for a relationship to involve intimacy, it MUST have a “trusting foundation”. Two people, are giving love in different proportions at different times. Two individuals “needs within the relationship emotionally may be different”. What creates Emotional Intimacy in a relationship? It is created, by spending the time to ask each day, “how are you “FEELING” about, XYZ”? It means truly listening to the other person so that you know an ongoing trauma, big or small, is doing within that person. Questions are phrased for this to be developed within the relationship, “How do you feel?” This type of intimacy is found most often in LOVE relationships.
In this kind of intimacy, it is about each person feeling trusting enough to share their past and present emotional issues, and trust with confidence that it will never be used in some way against them.
What is Psychological Intimacy? Psychological intimacy is the mental connection on a more primitive level, educational level. Psychological Intimacy involves anything involving each other’s career, or common interests shared, and issues with children, if any are in this relationship, and coming to common ground by active listening, and solution solving.
Psychological Intimacy is truly being able to listen and communicate with one another, on an equal footing. For a couple, or any relationship to have a good foundation, there must be good, “COMMUNICATION”. Good communication, requires active listening. What is active listening? This is listening, with the ability to re-phrase to the other party what they shared with you, in your words, phrasing a question to them, after they have shared a problem at work, for example, and if your able to do this, and ask the other person, “so what your saying is, …..?”, which is the best definition of intimacy building when you are doing active listening. All levels or types of intimacy are based on “great communication” but having the ability to para-phrase your mates issue, is a good beginning of psychological intimacy.
Psychological Intimacy also involves “remembering” what the ongoing problems of your partner are,
existing problems within the relationship and “NO RUG SWEEPING”. Rug sweeping is sweeping problems away which continue to simmer in each other, never solving them leaving a trail of emotions that over time, will affect the relationship and its initial beauty. A relationship, with this kind of unselfishness, and understanding, is one that will make the long haul.
SEXUAL INTIMACY-Sexual intimacy is very important, and involves more satisfying than satisfaction. Sex, without intimacy, works, for short-term, but if you want to be in a long term relationship, you must learn that the sexual needs of your partner comes first, and sometimes, that is something that involves COMMUNICATION. Many people in today’s Society are STILL uncomfortable, including myself, at first, with sharing what feels physically pleasing to them, but if you want “sexual intimacy in the relationship”, it is required.
What else plays a huge role in sexual intimacy? TRUST! “Trust is a must”, especially for women, and can play a huge role in dissatisfaction in a couples relationship.
Intimacy, is a “Wise Wisdom Word”, because, if you are going to be in a relationship, why not make it the best one possible to be in? Seems logical and beautiful to me. “Relationships should involve the sharing of souls, connecting if they are going to last a lifetime.
If you are in a marriage today, lacking the intimacy in it, set your partner down, and explain and communicate with “I” messages to avoid them feeling defensive. I messages, are starting sentences with the word, I, such as I feel….I think….I felt…etc.
LIFE is short. Make it the very best and full of love, no matter what relationships you have, and allow intimacy to play a role. It truly defines the level of trust within the soul, connecting to another.
Remember: The wisdom is within the words, but actions must follow for the who picture to be complete. Without action, words are empty, and I simply won’t believe we cannot improve….SL
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