An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it.
How necessary is it to for us to have validation?
In terms of needing it, not very necessary at all in most aspects of life. Wanting it, however, is a different story. As human beings, we want validation for everything we do. We like compliments. We like people agreeing with us.
First, let’s start with the areas in which validation is necessary. Unless you own your own business, validation is crucial in the workplace as someone else makes the rules. Depending on how well you do, you get a raise or a promotion.
It’s also necessary while getting an education. Research papers, book reports, homework, etc all needs to be validated by your teacher or professor in order to ascend to a higher level.
And while this may defined as a little too broad, validation is also needed to be a lawful citizen of wherever you live. You have to follow the law or face the consequences.
However, in the areas mentioned above, while definitely mandatory, it’s not particularly difficult to attain the validation if you follow the basic rules. Want to do well in school? Just study and be a diligent student. Want to impress your bosses? Work hard and be dedicated to your profession. Want have a clean record? Don’t commit a crime.
In most other areas of life, however, you don’t need validation. How you dress, how you think, what you eat and drink should all depend on your own onus.
The problem with seeking validation in others is that we all have different thoughts and ideologies based on our upbringing and the environments we grew up in. One ideology can never work universally.
The other problem in constantly seeking validation is the one of the oldest cliches ever: You can’t please everybody. And while most of us accept that, psychologically, it’s always hard to cope with negativity no matter how much we’re used to it.
Ultimately, the only way to avoid that is to not go down that road at all. Just seek validation within yourselves. The only exception in that rule, besides the endeavors alluded to above, is when your decision impacts others.
But as far as individual life choices, look within yourself first. What does your heart say? What does your conscious say?
Do you seek validation in everything you do or just certain decisions? Do you feel it’s necessary? If so, where do you draw the line? Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below.