WOUNDS (WHAT DO PHYSICAL WOUNDS AND EMOTIONAL WOUNDS HAVE IN COMMON?)

OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “WOUNDS”.  I AM NOT REFERRING TO A PHYSICAL WOUND, BUT THE SAME STEPS TO HEAL ONE, DO APPLY TO OUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS.  IF A WOUND IS BLEEDING, AND THE BLEEDING DOESN’T STOP, IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS WE NEED TO TAKE ADDITIONAL STEPS TO GET THAT BLEEDING TO STOP SUCH AS STITCHES AT AN EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT.  IT IS NO DIFFERENT WHEN WE HAVE PSYCHOLOGICAL WOUNDS.  IF THEY ARE NOT TREATED FIRST BY ACKNOWLEDGING THEM, THEN TAKING STEPS TO HEAL THEM THEY WILL TAINT OUR PERCEPTION OF OTHERS, LEVEL OF TRUST, AND ABILITY TO HAVE SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS OF ANY KIND. 

LET ME WALK THIS THROUGH.  FOR EXAMPLE, I HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD.  I NEVER TELL ANYONE MY SECRET BECAUSE OF SHAME AND HUMILIATION.  I ACTUALLY PUSH IT OUT OF MY MIND EVERY TIME IT SURFACES IN MY MIND.  I CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO THINK ABOUT IT, MUST LESS GET HELP TO HEAL THIS WOUND.  IT LITERALLY BEGINS TO BLEED INTO OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE.  I AM NOW IN MY FIRST SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.  HOWEVER, SOME PART OF ME “HOLDS BACK”, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUAL INTIMACY. 

I HAD HELD INSIDE WHAT HAPPENED  TO ME AND BURIED IT, AND YEARS LATER, BECAUSE I DIDN’T TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS TO HEAL THE WOUNDS THAT REMAINED, THEY WERE STILL RAW AND OPEN. 

WHAT STEPS SHOULD I HAVE TAKEN?  THE FIRST STEP WOULD HAVE BEEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ALTHOUGH I DIDN’T FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HAD HAPPENED AT THE TIME. THE NEXT STEP WOULD HAVE BEEN TO TELL A PARENT OR ADULT I TRUSTED.  THE NEXT STEP WOULD HAVE BEEN TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH A TRUSTED ADULT AND THEN GET TO A PROFESSIONAL EQUIPPED TO GIVE ME THE PROPER HELP I NEEDED.  WOUNDS THAT ARE DEEP AND EMOTIONAL END UP BEING “REPRESSED MEMORIES” OFTEN WHEN NOT ADDRESSED ESPECIALLY AS A CHILD. DO YOU SEE THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL WOUNDS WE GET?  WE CAN’T LEAVE EMOTIONAL WOUNDS TO FESTER IN OUR MINDS EVEN WHEN WE PUSH THEM BACK TO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS BECAUSE THEY DON’T EVER JUST “GO AWAY”. 

I FINALLY SAW A THERAPIST AS AN ADULT FOR SOMETHING THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME AS A CHILD, IT WAS MORE DIFFICULT TO DRAG THE MEMORIES UP.  MANY DETAILS OF THIS SEXUAL ABUSE CAME OUT I HAD BLOCKED OUT OR FORGOTTEN OVER THE YEARS.  I LEARNED BECAUSE I HAD TOLD NO ONE AND THE EMOTIONAL WOUND CONTINUED TO FESTER, I WAS EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP.  THE SEXUAL ABUSE WAS DIRECTLY RELATED TO ME “HOLDING BACK” EMOTIONALLY.  IF YOU KEEP A SECRET TO YOURSELF, BE PREPARED TO DEAL WITH WHATEVER IT IS AT YOUR OWN CONSEQUENCES.  THE SECRETS WE KEEP ARE EVENTUALLY THE DETRIMENTS WE EXPERIENCE OFTEN WITHOUT CORRELATING THE TWO.  THAT IS WHY EMOTIONAL WOUNDS AS DEEP AS THE EXAMPLE I GAVE, NEED TO BE DEALT WITH BEST WITH A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST OR THERAPIST. 

IN TIME, WE DO HEAL.  WE RECOGNIZE DANGEROUS PATTERNS BEFORE THEY AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIPS.  WE THEN FIND STRENGTH WITHIN BECAUSE WE ARE GIVEN TOOLS AND SKILLS TO COPE WITH OUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS. 

THERE ARE MANY OTHER EXAMPLES I COULD USE, BUT I THINK YOU ALL GET THE GIST OF THIS.  WE MUST NOT STUFF IN OUR EMOTIONAL ABUSES OR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PHYSICAL ABUSE.  ONCE WE DEAL WITH THESE TRAGEDIES THROUGH WHATEVER STEPS NECESSARY TO LEARN COPING SKILLS, UNHEALTHY PATTERN RECOGNITION, AND WORK TOWARDS HEALING, WE GO FROM “VICTIM TO SURVIVOR”!  IN THE END, WE WIN.  THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING.   SAMANTHA/DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM. 

 

LIFE CAN BE FULL OF HAPPINESS OR TRAGEDY.  IT IS UP TO US TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES TO HEAL OUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS.  BENEATH THIS POST, THERE IS A PLACE TO “JOIN THE DISCUSSION”.  THE EXAMPLE I GAVE IS TRUE, BY THE WAY.  IF I CAN SHARE MY STORY, YOU CAN AS WELL.  I AM NO STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, OR SMARTER THAN YOU.  I JUST CHOSE TO FIND A SOLUTION.  PLEASE BE AWARE OF OUR “WISE ADVICE” WEBPAGE AS PART OF YOUR OVERALL MEMBERSHIP TO OUR WRITING COMMUNITY OF AUTHORS, POETS, AND OTHER CREATIVES.  NOT ONLY WILL WE HELP YOU BECOME THE WRITER YOU WANT TO BE, BUT WE ALSO DO IT BY OFFERING MANY OPTIONS INCLUDING MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATES WHO VOLUNTEER WITH 100 % CONFIDENTIALITY. 

WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO LISTEN, OFFER SUGGESTIONS, AND LEAD YOU TO THE PROPER HELP CHANNELS WHICH MIGHT INVOLVE A LICENSED THERAPIST.  YOU ALSO GET TO CHOOSE IF YOU WANT YOUR APPOINTMENT TO BE ON THE PHONE, OR VIA  EMAIL.  THIS IS AVAILABLE FOR MEMBERS ONLY AND MEMBERSHIP IS JUST $10 FOR A LIFETIME, ENJOYING LIVE PROMPTS, WRITING CASH CONTESTS, A SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILE, AND PRIVACY AS MUCH OR LITTLE AS YOU CHOOSE.  JOIN NOW BY VISITING OUR WEBSITE, DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM!!!  JOIN US. TO BECOME THE WRITER YOU DREAM OF BEING. WE GIVE YOU EVERY TOOL YOU WILL NEED TO DO SO!!!

 


 

VICISSITUDE

What does it mean to be in a mood affected by vicissitude?  We often feel vicissitude when something negative happens in our lives we were not predicting, especially when everything has been going well.  My mother has always said, “expect the worst but prepare for the best.”  She must have experienced this feeling many times in her life.  Vicissitude is a word not often used everyday in our vocabulary.   It sounded interesting, so I looked up its meaning.  Due to the holiday’s being here, often we spend too much money.  Some of us don’t realize how much we have spent, until our credit card statements start to arrive.  This can bring on a feeling of vicissitude. Before going any further, let’s take a look at the meaning of vicissitude in our Webster Dictionary.  

 

Webster Definition of Vicissitude-A regular change of circumstances from one thing to another, often one that is unwelcome or unpleasant.  2.  alternation between opposite or contrasting things.  

Daily Wisdom Word Definition of vicissitude-An unexpected, contrasting change often for the worst in our life. 

Vicissitude happens also with the opposite.  You can have everything in your life negative, and then win a lottery.  This is how contrasting the feeling of vicissitude can be.  One of the reasons I chose this word is the holidays are often times for surprises.  Not just negative events occurring out of the blue count for vicissitude.  Vicissitude can be a positive thing happening as well.  

I think one of the strangest things in my life that happened, was when I was completely and financially broke.  Of course, this happened to be the time my daughter announced her engagement. She wanted a big wedding and a very nice dress.  

I remember stressing about this so much.  I was a single parent, and it just so happens her father was also financially bankrupt around this time as well.  I was shocked to say the least when I went out to my mailbox a few days later and found a sizeable check that was completely unexpected addressed to me.  It was a refund of homeowners insurance.  I realized that if I just took it a step at a time with her wedding, and also let her know she would have to help financially herself, we would have her big wedding.  

People often wonder why at the end of the day, I still have faith.  I would be lying if I said this wasn’t challenging.  There are times it is harder to have faith and this time, with this unexpected news, was definitely one of them.  I have always found in my life, when things were rough all around, it is my faith that has gotten me through it.  

This was only the beginning of my daughter’s wedding needs and I decided I could do much of it, such as make the bouquets for all seven girls in her bridal party.  I ordered a fresh floral arrangement only for the bride and made the others.  I ordered my daughters bouquet from the supermarket that looked every bit as nice as any expensive floral shop.  I also made the centerpieces for all of her tables and bought tablecloths and runners wholesale from a used store. 

I had them dry cleaned and they looked brand new.  There was still about $10,000 missing in the budget.  The groom’s parents contributed $5,000 and over the next year, I was able to do more financially as well.  My daughter and her future husband paid for the remaining balance, and all was good!  

I shared vicissitude with you, because things, both good and bad happen in our lives that are in sharp contrast to what is happening at this moment.  If this moment is bleak for you, as I keep saying, ” there is always a new horizon around the corner.”

Thanks so much for reading daily wisdom words today!  

Samantha Leboeuf/Daily Wisdom Words Blog