MEN DON’T CRY…DO THEY? (REVISED)

“Have a good cry, wash out your heart. If you keep it inside it’ll tear you apart.”
-Sometimes You Win (1979) by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show

Sometimes it’s discouraged, sometimes you’re pushed to let it out. But if you’re a male who grew up in the twentieth century, you were most likely told not to do it, especially in public.

I’m talking about crying.

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FINALITY

OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “FINALITY”.  THERE ARE THINGS WE EXPERIENCE IN A LIFETIME THAT WE CAN’T CONTROL.  WE DON’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE, FOR EXAMPLE.  WE CAN SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THEM BUT ULTIMATELY, IT IS THEIR CHOICE TO DECIDE IF THEY FOLLOW THAT EXAMPLE.  WE CAN GIVE ADVICE, BUT ULTIMATELY THE DECISION MADE IS IN THAT PERSON’S HANDS.  WHAT WE DO HOLD CONTROL OVER IS OUR OWN CHOICES.  WE WILL HAVE NEGATIVITY TO DEAL WITH DURING LIFE, AS WELL AS PAIN. 

WE CAN CHOOSE TO FEEL THE PAIN, AND LOOK FOR THE GOOD FOUND WITH ANOTHER BUT WE CANNOT BE FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOMES OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS.  WHETHER IT IS OUR CHILDREN, OUR FRIENDSHIPS OR EVEN OUR FUTURE, WE CAN GUIDE WHAT WHAT WE WANT TO HAPPEN, AND STILL HAVE UNEXPECTED TURBULENCE FROM OUTSIDE EVENTS WE SIMPLY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. 

LIFE IS SHORT.  ONE OF THE EXPERIENCES WE MUST FACE IS FINALLY ACCEPTING FINALITY WHEN OTHERS ARE INVOLVED OR THEY DECIDE TO EXIT OUR LIFE.  SOMETIMES IT MUST BE US THAT ACCEPTS FINALITY.  IF A RELATIONSHIP CAUSES US PAIN AND IS UNHEALTHY, OR SOMEHOW IS HURTING US MORE THAN HELPING US IT MAY BE TIME TO ACCEPT THE FINALITY OF A SITUATION.  IT HURTS IN LIFE WHEN WE LOSE PEOPLE WE LOVE WHETHER IT BE BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO GO, OR GOD CALLS THEM HOME.   WE DEAL WITH A SERIES OF STAGES TO GO THROUGH ANY HEALING PROCESS.  FIRST, WE ARE IN DENIAL.  NEXT COMES ANGER.  AFTER THIS, WE FEEL IMMENSE SADNESS, AND FINALLY WE ACCEPT WHAT IS OR THE LOSS OF SOMEONE WE LOVE FROM OUR LIFE. 

WHAT WE MUST DO, IS  LET GO OF THE ANGER STAGE.  WE FEEL ANGER AND THIS HELPS GIVE US STRENGTH, OR SO WE THINK, BUT ULTIMATELY IT STOPS US FROM GETTING TO THE NEXT STAGE WE NEED TO DEAL WITH TO GET TO FINALITY OR ACCEPTANCE. ANGER OVER TIME, HURTS US MORE ANYTHING.  ANGER IS LIKE A VIRUS SPREADING IN THE BODY. ANGER CAN EAT AWAY OUR LOVE FOR OTHERS INDIRECTLY CAUSING US DAMAGE IN THE RELATIONSHIPS WE STILL HAVE IN OUR LIFE.  WE  OFTEN FEEL IT IS EASIER TO STAY IN THIS STAGE TO AVOID FEELING THE NEXT STAGE WHICH IS HURT, SADNESS AND PAIN.  THIS IS WHY IT IS HARD TO GET PAST ANGER AND MOVE ON LEARNING TO COPE WITH THE SADNESS OF LOSS OF ANY KIND. 

ONCE WE REALIZE AND FEEL THIS LOSS, IT ALLOWS US TO MOVE ON TO THE FINAL STAGE, ACCEPTANCE.  WHEN WE ACCEPT THE LOSS, WE THEN BEGIN TO HEAL.  YES, THE PAIN AND MISSING THEM WILL HURT STILL, BUT THE TIMES WE SHARED AND THE LESSONS LEARNED WE LEARN TO FOCUS ON.  WE REMAIN ULTIMATELY AT A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE AND FINALITY. FINALITY CAN BE HARD WITH ANYTHING. 

SOMETIMES WE FEEL RELIEF WITH FINALITY, BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WE FEEL THE LOSS.  I WISH THIS WERE MORE ABOUT SOLUTIONS BUT WE MUST EXPERIENCE ANGER TO GET TO SADNESS, AND THEN ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO.  FINALITY WITH ANYTHING WHICH BROUGHT US HAPPINESS, HOWEVER LITTLE IT MAY HAVE BEEN, IS HARD TO ACCEPT, BUT IT IS IN ACCEPTANCE WE WILL BEGIN TO HEAL.  DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP YOU KNOW HAS REACHED ITS EXPIRATION DATE?  DO YOU FIND YOURSELF FULL OF ANGER AND SOMETIMES EVEN RAGE?  LIFE ISN’T FAIR AND SOMETIMES WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY WHEN A RELATIONSHIP ENDS OR TO BE HEALTHY, WE MUST LET GO OF IT. HOW DO WE HEAL?  LOVE FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL IN OUR LIFE BECOMES ABUNDANT LIKE A VACCINE OF SORTS JUST AS HATRED IS A VIRUS.  LOVE GROWS AND FILLS OUR HEART WITH JOY INSTEAD OF OUR HEAD IN ANGER AND HATE.  PART OF LIFE JUST LIKE A BEGINNING IS AN END.  FINALITY CAN BE WHAT IS NECESSARY TO DRAW HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR OURSELVES EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY.  THIS MAY MEAN LOSS, BUT IT ALSO MEANS FREEING UP SPACE WASTED IN TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS AND THEIR ACTIONS.  DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS?  DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE BEST WAY TO COPE WITH A PARTICULAR SITUATION ENDING?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW OR A QUESTION AND YOU WILL GET A RESPONSE.  I RESPOND TO MY QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS, EVEN IF IT TAKES A FEW DAYS.  THANKS FOR READING…IF YOU HAVE HELPFUL ADVICE, LEAVE IT IN THE “JOIN THE DISCUSSION” AREA BELOW THIS POST.  THANK YOU, SAMANTHA

 

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TEARS “Why we have tears when we cry”

When we see someone cry, and their tears falling, we feel bad for them.  Our first instinct is to comfort them.  What we don’t realize is often they need to cry and their tears cleanse the soul.  When I cry, of course I feel sad, but never did I realize that to cry is part of a healing process.  I lost someone so dear to me, my sister.  I watched my nieces, her children hurt and cry. 

Her youngest daughter Luma is 22, and someone who I have always been close with.  There is something about Luma that makes her special.  She illuminates a light with whoever she is around.  When she feels someone else is hurting, she is the first one to offer a comforting shoulder.  Her mother was an angel.  I know we often hear this from loved ones but in all reality, she really was.  She gave so much to those she loved and touched many lives. 

Luma and I have always held a special bond.  Luma has class.  She doesn’t believe it, but I see it.  She also took her mother’s death so hard.  For many months, I hardly heard from her.  She even wondered if I did not have the best of intentions for her.  I always have, and I always will.  Although I could not see her as she lived in another state, I felt her anger.  If she had been thinking clearly, she would have known I would never have any malice or anything but love for her and would only think of her best interest.  It took many months, and a move to Mexico, for her to be able to cry. 

I have her visiting now, and we share tears together.  She is amazing and such a loving person.  For anyone who has this kind of illuminating  light, there sometimes is darkness too.  When she is hurting and depressed she ia a lot like me.  She wants to be alone or escape the pain.  She is very strong but part of grieving is sadness and tears. The definition of tears in our Webster Dictionary are-1.   The state or action of crying.  a drop of salty liquid secreted from ones glands when their eyes are irritated.  Daily Wisdom Word Definition of Tears-a way for the human body to express sadness and cleanse the soul by crying.  Crying can be a very good thing.  When we grieve, we need to cry.  We can’t hide from grief. 

What we can do is bury it and this will eventually catch up to us in some way.  for those things we don’t cope with, we develop fear from.  Fear is part of burying emotions that one doesn’t process.  Anger is another way that we express buried grief. Allow yourself to cry when you feel sad.  Sometimes it takes a good, healthy cry to cleanse our soul. Often times, by crying, we release the pent up emotion.  Everything we experience in life, we must deal with.  Crying is good for the soul and the tears that fall, cleanse our soul.  My niece is now back with me.  She of course has moments and days of sadness but she allows herself to cry. 

She is Il-LUMA-nation and light.  I love her like my own child and I feel honored to be in her life again.  It is what my sister would have wanted.  Thank you for reading….Samantha/Founder, Daily

 

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YEARNINGS

HAVE YOU EVER FELT THE YEARNING OF MISSING SOMEONE?  YEARNING IS HARD TO DEAL WITH, HOWEVER IT IS A PART OF LIFE.  LOSS OF ONE YOU LOVE IS NEVER EASY.  IT IS ALSO SO DIFFICULT WHEN YOU YEARN AND DESIRE SOMEONE WHO IS A PART OF YOUR PAST. 

SOMETIMES I HAVE YEARNINGS TO SEE MY LITTLE SISTER, AND THEY PHYSICALLY HURT MY HEART.  I SOMETIMES BELIEVE AS I GET OLDER THAT LIFE SOMETIMES IS A TRADE-OFF.  IT IS NEVER EVER GOING TO BE PERFECT AND WE MAKE TRADEOFFS.  I BELIEVE THAT AS YOU GET OLDER YOUR CHOICES ARE FEWER AND FURTHER IN BETWEEN. 

I LOOK AT MY PAST AND ALL OF THE PEOPLE I ONCE KNEW THAT PLAYED SUCH INTEGRAL, SIGNIFICANT ROLES IN MY LIFE.  SOME OF THE PEOPLE I MISS, REMAIN A PART OF THE PAST.  I CLEARLY CAN SEE THAT THEY BELONG IN THE PAST AND FOR GOOD REASON.  PAIN WAS LEFT BEHIND AND LESSONS BROUGHT FORWARD.  IT TRULY IS SAD THOUGH WHEN WE DO YEARN AND MISS SOMEONE FROM OUR PAST.  THERE ARE A FEW KEY INDIVIDUALS THAT REMAIN ON MY MIND OCCASIONALLY BECAUSE I WAS SURE WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.  I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY MUST BE PART OF MY PAST. 

THIS IS WHERE FAITH HAS TO COME IN PLAY.  I KNOW THAT THE RELATIONSHIPS HAVE BEEN LEFT IN THE PAST FOR GOOD REASON.  YET, THERE ARE STILL YEARNINGS SOMETIMES TO “CONNECT” WITH THE PAST AND THE MEMORIES I MADE WITH THESE INDIVIDUALS ARE SO HARD AND PAINFUL TO LEAVE BEHIND.  LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE WEBSTER MEANING OF YEARNINGS AND THE DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION. 

WEBSTER DEFINITION OF YEARNING-1.  TO WANT SOMETHING STRONGLY.  2.  TO HAVE A STRONG, OFTEN SAD LONGING.

DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION:  TO FEEL PITY OR SYMPATHY OR SORRY FOR YOURSELF WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE SOMEONE YOU MISS. 

THERE ARE THOSE INDIVIDUALS THAT BLEND INTO THE PAST AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE WE HAVE A HARDER TIME LEAVING IN THE PAST.  WHEN WE THINK OF MEMORIES OF THE PAST, WE CAN STILL REMEMBER THE SOUND OF THEIR VOICE, THE WAY THEY SMELLED, DRESSED, ACTED TOWARDS US, AND IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A DREAM OF PERFECTION.  HOWEVER, IN REALITY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE MAY MISS, AND PHYSICALLY “HURT” WHEN WE THINK OF THOSE WE YEARN FOR, THEY ARE IN OUR PAST FOR A REASON.  THEY KNOW THIS TOO IN THEIR OWN WAY, WHICH IS WHY YOU DON’T OFTEN HEAR FROM THE ONES WE YEARN FOR.  TO YEARN FOR MEANS TO STILL DESIRE. 

YES I HAVE HAD THESE FEELINGS SO INTENSELY THEY HAVE CAUSED ME TO CRY IN MISERY THAT THEY MUST REMAIN WHERE THEY ARE NOW.  JUST AS OUR LIFE GOES ON, SO DOES THEIRS.  OUR LESSON IN ALL OF THIS IS TO ACCEPT THOSE WE YEARN FOR THAT WE AREN’T WITH AS FATE WATCHING OUR BACK, BUT THERE ARE STILL THOSE THAT ARE GONE FOR REASONS NEVER UNDERSTOOD.  THANKS FOR READING ABOUT YEARNINGS TODAY.  WE ALSO YEARN FOR THOSE WE LOSE TO DEATH BUT WE MUST BELIEVE IT WAS THEIR TIME TO GO, AND THEY DID NOT LEAVE BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO.  HAVE A BLESSED DAY.  SAMANTHA

 

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DEATH & THE AFTERMATH

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
-Mitch Albom

In previous posts, I have talked about dealing with deaths of loved ones. To summarize those posts, I had written about how to keep loving the person that’s gone. I would like to expand on that thought a litte more today.

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SENTIMENT

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FEEL SENTIMENT FOR OTHERS OR WITH OURSELVES WHEN WE FEEL SENTIMENTAL?  A SENTIMENT IS A FEELING.  SENTIMENT IS OFTEN FELT AROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR, THE HOLIDAY SEASON.  The holiday season causes us to think about individuals we perhaps have lost contact with or simply miss.  Sentiment is often expressed with the words, I miss.  Feeling sentimental is normal, especially with our current Covid-19 situation wishing things were as they used to be.    Often when we are lonely we long to go back in time to these folks we are feeling deep sentiment for.  Let us take a look at the meaning of sentiment in our Webster Dictionary.  

Webster Definition of Sentiment-1.  Dealing with feelings of sadness, tenderness or nostalgia typically in an exaggerated way.

Daily Wisdom Words Definition of Sentiment-the feelings and emotions when we think about things deeply.  

If you are like myself, the feelings surrounding sentiment are often felt.  I miss so much how things used to be prior to the pandemic.  I miss the feeling of being carefree in this world.  It is hard to feel safe and carefree when a virus is in the air affecting millions and dropping the ball with being responsible wearing a mask is what we do to protect ourselves and others.  When I see masks being used as a belief when it is a medical fact it will safe lives it scares me.  I can be sure of my own responsibility but with the latest ruling by the supreme court, I can’t be sure of others being responsible as well.  What individuals who feel forced to wear this are feeling, I feel anger about as well.  The anger I feel is not about a mask which is worn more to protect others than ourselves.  I feel ignorance ignoring health officials safety precautions is very selfish.  Saving other lives along with our own or avoiding getting very, very ill is the choice we make if we do not wear a mask in public.  

Sadly, it is the elderly who have been hit by this the hardest, and when the elderly catch the corona virus, it could very well mean their life. Not wearing a mask in public isn’t worth seeing a stranger get sick later if I am symptomatic but don’t realize it because I have no symptoms (this involves 51% of us at this time), is not a choice I can make out of respect for humanity and life.  Thanks so much for reading this today.  Deep sentiment is felt today inside me because of so many unnecessary deaths, and I miss “how it used to be”.  Samantha LeBoeuf

SUBJUGATION “DO YOU FEEL YOU ARE A VICTIM OF IT?”

DO YOU THINK WE HAVE WITNESSED SUBJUGATION RECENTLY?  BEFORE WE DELVE INTO THIS, WHAT DOES THE WORD “SUBJUGATION” MEANS IN LAW BOTH IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND OUR DAILY WISDOM WORDS DEFINITION.

Webster Dictionary Meaning of subjugation-1.  The act of bringing someone or something under domination or control. 

Daily Wisdom Words Definition-1.  The act of controlling or suppressing democracy or exerting undue power or will over another when in a position of power to do so.

Subjugation happens when the democratic freedom afforded to us under the Constitution of the United States is violated in some way.  We experience subjugation when we have our right to “peacefully protest” while following the law.  Most laws have the power of state law which can vary depending on the state you live in.  However, Constitutional Law supersedes these state laws unless the safety or welfare of another person(s)  is at risk.  If a group were following the law of the constitution which allows them the “right to peacefully protest” with peace being the operative group, it would make sense why we need to respect this despite the role of power a government agency has or any group or other’s who obstruct the will of the people in our Constitution. 

The operational word in suppression  of one’s power as a group or single entity to protest peacefully, is predicated conducting a protest in a peaceful manner. The constitution is very clear about inciting violence or direct behavior provoking it.  What we have seen over the past years is a violation of our constitution in recent cases.  We wrote the will of the people long ago and when it is violated it violates our right to democracy.  I don’t wish to point fingers in this post.   My wish is bigger.  It is simply to remind us of our basic rights afforded under our constitution if we are following the rules such as protesting peacefully also set forth.  We have seen this happen in recent times too many times.  Once the constitution has been breached, it becomes easier to break these rights we all have in America.  I have also witnessed this in recent years.  We must exert strength always to protect the constitution of the USA.  If we don’t, the constitution becomes no more than a piece of paper.  

Subjugation should never be about political beliefs.  We as people whether we are Democrats or Republicans have these rights afforded to aour constitution.  When we hear the police are spraying poisonous gas at a crowd when holding a position of political power, we are practicing subjugation.  If the people are following our constitution doing nothing but practicing non-violent actions to get a message across they consider important to us and themselves, the constitution allows for this.  This could not be more fundamental and basic. Not upholding these basic rights given to us by our forefathers is to violate our constitution if we are following the law without being the direct cause of violence.  We live in this country because of these freedom these simple truths we believe today and once wrote down in our Constitution or the United States of America, “Home to the brave and Land of the Free”. 

For subjugation to happen, a person(s) or entity of power must exist.  The constitution does not allow us to incite violence when protesting or disrupt others peaceful rights while protesting.  It is very specific and clear.  Our constitution is our basis of truth when fine lines become blurry upholding this truth.  This division of people we are experiencing currently is the worst it has ever been.  This is because someone in a position of power was allowed to violate our constitution in some way.  Please leave a comment about our Daily Wisdom Word today allowing me to comment back.  It is okay if you disagree with me.  I want to hear from you, the people.  Thanks so much, Samantha-Founder  Daily Wisdom Words-dailywisdomwords.com/

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COLDNESS

How is coldness reflected in individuals who lack warmth?  These individuals often have pain and hurt within so they have developed outer hard shells reflected as cold and aloof.  We may judge people prematurely and it is easy to do so with the outer facade they reveal.  Some individuals are just “cold”.  Life has dealt them a raw deal and they are often bitter and angry.  There are many reasons why individuals are cold.  The reason I chose this word is I met a stranger the other day who seemed cold and aloof.  I was ready to dismiss this individual and be aloof myself.  However, the truth was I wasn’t looking close enough and prejudged this person too soon.  

I decided it was worth taking a few extra minutes and a little more effort to try harder.  The situation was worth it, and I was glad I made an additional effort.  It turned out that she was very nice.  She was simply having a bad day.  Her husband and her had miscommunicated, and she understood he was taking their two young children to school.  She ended up taking them to school, but due to the delay, both had children missed their home room.  She mentioned that this had happened more than once and was actually concerned about their marriage.  It amazed me that she and I exchanged phone numbers.  She was very nice and simply was having a bad day wearing the weight of personal issues on her face.  

My point is often we do misjudge others and their character by deciding who they are based on our initial impression.  This doesn’t apply to all individuals, but does apply more often than not.  I worked in New Home Sales for over 20 years and over the six months following their initial purchase would get to know them quite well.  It often surprised me I was wrong about my initial assessment judging who they were as a couple.  In all actuality, the signing of a contract is stressful, especially when it is a new home and a first purchase.  It is easy to be mislead by our initial impression.  We are not always right when we do this.  Let us take a look at the Webster Definition that applies to the daily wisdom word and my definition. 

Webster Definition of Coldness-The lack of warmth and affection.  

Daily Wisdom Word definition of coldness-a condition that can be a personality trait or lack of kindness and warmth.  

There are times when individuals are actually cold.  They are not social individuals and don’t wish to engage with others.  They are sometimes just loners who prefer to be left alone.  I think I have clearly explained what coldness truly is in an individual, and often reading someone and passing judgement on them too soon may lose us an opportunity to meet someone who is amazing.  Thanks so much for reading about coldness today.  

We’d love to have you join our family today.  There is an initial investment of $10 and it will offer you a lifetime of growth in a year as a writer.  You will meet other writers.  Authors, Poets, and Songwriters make up the majority of members who you can send or receive accepted friend requests from other writers who are willing to be mentors.  You also will gain so much experience in writing, not only through their wisdom but also in their words.  Read the blogs.  Take part in the writing prompts.  Enjoy yourself!  This is a phenomenal writer’s community easy to join.  Simply visit our website http://www.dailywisdomwords.com!  You will see an easy process to become a better writer.  Samantha Leboeuf

BIRTHDAY WISHES “DEDICATED TO MY LOVELY NIECE”

THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND SADNESS, AND UPS AND DOWNS.  TODAY, IS MY BEAUTIFUL NIECES’ BIRTHDAY.  AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, SHE LOST HER MOTHER THIS YEAR, JUST A LITTLE OVER THREE MONTHS AGO.  GRIEF HAS STAGES OR SO THEY SAY.  PERHAPS ITS TRUE, BUT I BELIEVE WE ALL GRIEVE UNIQUELY.  

A Birthday is a day to celebrate our life.  I cannot imagine how my niece must feel not having her mother today.  I think, however, she still should have as happy of a day as possible.  I publish this for her, today, 10/11/2020, her birthday.  It is so difficult to explain who Luma is.  She is a one of a kind individual, gifted and bright.  She is a wise soul, way beyond her years.  It would not be uncommon although I am her aunt, for me to ask Luma for advice.  She seems to have many of the answers I struggle with.  

Her mother’s passing however, is not something we have any answers for.  I think I will go into what makes Luma so special.  When she was younger, she played with my daughter and son, her cousins.  They always got along well.  Luma simply “stood” apart.  Wise beyond her years, she could see a full picture when most of us only see part of one when evaluating life.  

Luma lived with me for a brief time when she was 13 years old.  Not only did she give awesome advice, she made a mean spaghetti!  She is amazing, and her mother knew. just how special she is.  I truly believe there is some kind of brightness or shine within her soul.  She is extremely beautiful, physically resembling Uma Thurman, but she is not in any way, conceited.  Luma has always known the path to beauty is “internal”.  Luma, despite being physically beautiful, is the first to say such kind things when I feel down.  Recently, I have put weight on.  Luma is the first to reassure me that I still am beautiful.  She will do my makeup, making me look as good as possible.  She will listen, and accomplishes so many things, it shakes me to the core. 

If you were to look at Luma’s pictures when she was a baby, and when she was growing up in childhood, people often said, “Wow, you (meaning myself), and your daughter look so much alike!”  Not only did we look alike when she was younger, we “think” alike.  She can instantly tell where my emotions are at and actually empathizes with my feelings.  I don’t deserve such a wonderful niece, but I could not be more grateful for her.  She has grown into an “amazing woman” sharing kindness, goodness and a special light with others.  

I am not the only one who Luma is special to.  She and my brother are very close.  Luma is one of the few individuals who is like a second daughter to him and he would lay down his life for her.  Luma, FYI, I would also do the same.  

I feel your pain, hon but believe that you will get through to the other side of this.  As I said, once before. right after your mom passed away,  “You will never stop missing and loving your mother, but you will be able to cope with it and deal with her loss.”  I believe this will happen for you and pray every day for your happiness.  You once told me, Luma, “Aunt Sam, You are stronger than you think”.  I believe the same is true for you, my beautiful niece.  You know there is an open ticket waiting just for you, hon to come and visit.  I hope you know just how special you are, and your mother thought you were, and everyone in your life who you touch feels this way.  Happy Birthday, Luma…….I love you with all of my heart, and am here for you anytime, day or night.  Aunt Sam

 

MEN DON’T CRY…DO THEY?

“Have a good cry, wash out your heart. If you keep it inside it’ll tear you apart.”
-Sometimes You Win (1979) by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show

Sometimes it’s discouraged, sometimes you’re pushed to let it out. But if you’re a male who grew up in the twentieth century, you were most likely told not to do it, especially in public.

I’m talking about crying.

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PRODUCTIVITY-HOW DO WE MOTIVATE OURSELVES WHEN DEPRESSED?

How do maintain productivity?  What can we do to become motivated when our mood is sad or low?  I recently have posed this question to myself.  It is more difficult by far to get things done when we are depressed.  I am dealing with the grief of my little sister being ill without a cure, and the sadness that surrounds my family like a black cloud hanging over me.  My sister has a tumor directly on the voice box of her neck, and she can’t talk.  If I ever felt down, really down, it would be her I would call.  Although she is three years younger, she was able to give some of the best advice and did so with patience. 

These feelings I am having keep me from feeling very motivated to do things.  I know, however, the first step to getting out of this black cloud is to become productive.  It is proving to be more challenging to me to do so due to the circumstances with my sister.  I find with my own depression being motivated with productivity extremely difficult.  Let us take a look at the definition of productivity in our Webster Dictionary.  

Productivity-The rate of production through new biomass by an individual, population, or community.

Daily Wisdom Word definition of productivity-being motivated to get done what is necessary with responsibilities in our lives.  Being able to exceed these expectations.

The following are suggestions to be productive when down.  1.  take one small step towards a small goal.  This will lead to additional steps and small successes.  2.  make a list each morning of things you feel you can get done.  3.  Don’t put too much pressure on yourself when you don’t succeed with your list.  4.  Take a small nap.  This can change your entire mood.  5.  take care of yourself physically.  6.  talk to a friend.  7.  reach out to a counselor or social worker for additional help.  7.  Should this kind of depression last a long time, perhaps it is time to consider medication, even on a temporary basis.  

Thanks so much for reading about productivity today.  Have a beautiful and blessed day.  Join daily wisdom words now for a lifetime for a one-time fee of $10.  If you have writer’s block or want to be a better writer, this entire website and all that we include will take you on that journey.   Samantha Leboeuf

NOSTALGIA

How often do you feel nostalgia?  Nostalgia is a wistful feeling, wishing for a better time and place when you remember things as happier.  Nostalgia is felt more often when we are having a hard time in our lives.  I think many more people than usual due to depression due to the current COVID-19 situation.  Due to lock downs and restrictions being removed, more people are getting out and returning to some form of semblance.  They are forgetting that everyday, another 20,000 people in the United States alone are getting an additional case of Covid-19.  Nostalgia is felt often from my end.

My nostalgia exists in the past where all nostalgia lives.  I remember feeling much happier in the past, but have always been a bit discontent.  Before we go further with our post on nostalgia, let us take a look at the meaning of it.  

Webster definition of Nostalgia-a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with personal associations.  

Daily Wisdom Words Definition of Nostalgia-Missing the past or things within it that remind you of better times and memories where you were happier. 

If I am listening to an old song, which I often do, nostalgia often comes into play.  I long for the days of the past when my children were still young and living with me.  I long for the years of high school which immediately causes nostalgia to wash over me.  I long for my old home, where I haven’t lived in years.  Not only do I feel nostalgic about my old home, I feel sad.  I miss the days when a house was filled with family and laughter.  Now, my children are grown and my son focused on his world and my daughter hers.  Money is often a concern for me since I was forced to leave new home sales due to health issues.   All of these examples of nostalgia have two things in common.  The feeling of wistfulness that accompanies nostalgia, and a longing to go back.  What creates the feeling of nostalgia for you?  

What time era or memory do you think of that brings nostalgia on?  Beneath this article, leave a comment, quote, or memory poem that stimulates nostalgia within you.  There is a place beneath this article which says, “join the discussion”.  Please leave your comment there.  This is a live prompt, which means I will respond to your comments, and am thrilled when you take time to leave one.  

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Samantha Leboeuf/DWW

 

 

GRIEVING BEST WAYS TO COPE WITH DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves grieving. Grieving is a part of life along with loss.  When we lose someone we love, especially when they are suffering, we feel a mixture of emotions.  Part of us wants to see our loved one out of pain prior to death.  There is another part of us that still sees the person they once were before they got sick because their soul is the same one they were born with.  Sheer willpower and strength and hope we want so badly to believe in.  

While the person is alive, despite the ultimate prognosis of death, there are miracle cures where no explainable medical reason can be given for the cure, you do hear of cures happening in rarity.  Still, no matter what our loved one asks us before they pass on, we want to give them hope.  I was faced with this question from my niece, my sister’s daughter.  I am sure they are all very angry with me now, as I told them what I honestly thought;  based on decisions made in the earlier stages of the particular cancer she has,  radiation  was stopped after the therapy burnt her skin so badly she could not swallow, eat or drink.  I can’t believe it just a little over a year ago we originally got the diagnosis.  How do we cope with our loved one when she hasn’t faced the reality herself and what should your role be in this situation?  Her two young grown daughters, 21 years old and 23 years old, still had not realized the seriousness of her illness which could be deadly and still unsure of her final outcome, as she dropped to a mere 74 pounds losing more than half of her body weight.  When my niece (her daughter) asked me if I thought her mother would make it, I shared with her I didn’t based on my opinion.  I don’t know if I did the right thing given my nieces age.  

Perhaps the opinion shared with my sister that she would not make it when she asked me, and sharing with her daughter my honest thoughts have been viewed as negative, but I felt it would not be right to lie to either of them when the purpose of my visit was to go out of state and say goodbye for an ungiven amount of time.  Now that we are gone and I said goodbye, as we were leaving, sadly my sister  could not even speak aloud goodbye back.  her newest tumor is growing quickly and had finally cut off use of her voice box.  I failed to mention her passion was singing.  Strange how these things happen.  Jenny carries with her the love of so many people including myself where it is a little like the story, “Where the Red Fern Grows”.  I feel we started off together playing as kids and our fern grew in different directions as we took different paths in life yet remained intertwined.  However, both ferns lived remaining with one another as they stayed alive over tbe past 50 years.  This was supposed to be a more optimistic take on grief, but as I write this story, I know I am still too sad  finding myself at times over the past weeks breaking down crying.  

I will offer some advice that I found  helpful when I researched, “how to deal with grief”. 

 

1.  Write.  Purging your feelings on paper can be helpful and a way to release them in a way that isn’t self sabotaging.  2.  Talk to individuals who care about you but also have the ability to be objective about the situation.  with matters of the heart this serious.  3a.  trust is necessary in your faith during this tragic time.  having doubts in your faith is normal.  You are dealing with loss of a loved one, whose fate is/was completely out of your hands. Anger is normal and trying to blame someone, whether it be her doctors or God is normal. Realizing this is part of the overcoming the first stage of grief, denial.  3b.  anger is the second step of grief.  talking out your feelings can help you deal with coping, especially when talking with someone of a professional nature such as a counselor or psychologist.  3c.  bargaining is also a part of the five stages of grief.  how do we handle this?   we must accept in life we don’t and cannot control everything.  bargaining is a way of trying to hang onto control we never had to begin with when losing someone.  4.  Depression is the4th of 5 stages of grief.  We must cope with it, but draw the line when it comes to acceptance of the loss without dwelling on the sadness.  Life does change.  You may have a bad day one day, and a good one the next.  this is how we deal with depression, stage four of grief.  5.  Acceptance.  It may seem we don’t or aren’t able to get to this stage.  In time, however, it will come.  Does this mean our feelings of love and loss of our loved one will disappear?  No, it simply means we develop coping mechanisms for dealing with these feelings.  As many say, coping with loss is a part of life.  this doesn’t make it any easier to deal with;  only time passing can help us with this.  

You will always wonder if you did or said the right or correct things to your loved one after they have passed.  I personally, will always wonder if I dealt with the situations presented to me the best way possible.  There is no “magic formula” to deal with grief.  Only time can begin to heal the pain and wounds of the loss of a loved one.  Thanks so much for reading about grief, and I pray this article has brought you some form of peace.  

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Other daily wisdom words articles related to grief and loss

Losing Loved Ones

 

HOPELESSNESS ARE YOU FEELING HOPELESS?

Hopelessness is a feeling that is usually part of a bigger problem.  There is today a feeling of hopelessness for many of us.  Life is out of our control.  We feel hopeless when we are out of control of a relationship, a financial situation or a health issue.  This leads us to what is happening now;  a situation where a virus is out of control. We have people that are in charge of the major decisions with Covid-19.  There are 50 different governors, one for each state, and counties also have governors.  We also have a president encouraging us to get the United States back to a “normal state” again.  

What is the definition of hopelessness?  

Webster Dictionary Definition-1.  a feeling of despair 2.  a loss of hope

Daily Wisdom Word Definition-Hopelessness-A feeling of loss of control over one’s life.  

Hopelessness and despair accompany depression very often.  When your in your home, and have a low immune system like myself, it matters a lot to be at home too much.  I am a homebody to begin with but do like to get out a few times a week.  Many states are lifting the stay at home orders so it is supposedly okay to go out?  What I don’t understand, is why we are not following the guidelines for opening states.  I live in Colorado.  The Centers for disease control’s number one recommendation is that there is a bell curve.  The first rule say’s the state should have 12 days of leveling off or no new cases of this Coronavirus.  Colorado only had three or four days and there were new cases but they were declining.

It is clear to me that we will not be returning to normalcy for a very long time.  life is going to change and these kinds of changes until they are implemented bring hopelessness because we feel a lack of control.   We are being told that we must stay six feet apart.  There is also future changes that we will have to let play out.   If one human doesn’t do his job, someone may get this virus due to germs left behind. 

I will share with you what I tell myself.  Change is a part of life.  Just as there are bad times, with over a million deaths in the USA alone, there will be good times again.  Thanks so much for reading about hopelessness today.  

Samantha Leboeuf/DWW

ISOLATION HOW ARE YOU COPING?

Today’s Daily Wisdom Word is “isolation”.  I think isolation is such an important topic and appropriate for what is going on in this world with a pandemic.  I had an emergency appointment at my dentist’s office.  This was the first time I had been out since the lockdown.  Isolation came to mind, because I have been spending time alone.  Isolation is very difficult, especially when it is mandatory and not your choice.  I felt like I was viewing this world for the first time.  I saw the masks we all are advised to wear.  When I walked in the dentist’s office, I was surprised that they took my temperature.

How do we cope with all of these changes?  I think, now that some of the restrictions are lifted, we will have to adjust to being around others practicing “social distancing”.  I have some suggestions that may make it easier to cope but before offering those, let’s look at the meaning of the word, isolation. 

Webster Dictionary meaning of isolation-denoting a ward or hospital for patients with contagious or infectious diseases

isolation-an extreme form of “social distancing”.  

I think these suggestions may help with the adjustment of all the ones advised.  1.  be prepared when you first go out to see the new changes that I mentioned above.  2.  Don’t allow yourself to be too confined to your home, meaning go outside in your yard, get fresh air and be proactive  3.  keep in touch with all of your loved ones through facetime and phone calls.  4.  accept, don’t fight this new world and do your best to adjust by knowing what to expect.  

I won’t lie to you.  Going out and seeing these changes was difficult.  I came back home relieved to be there as this atmosphere is what I am used to.  I feel we all have to adjust to a new normal.  Perhaps when a vaccine is developed for COVID-19, there will be changes again, allowing us to be physically closer to others.  I think isolation is a daily wisdom word that must be discussed.  I feel together, rather than on our own we are always stronger.  I encourage you to share your feelings today beneath this article, where is says, “join the discussion.  We, together can come up with creative ways to interact more with those we love including our friends.  

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Samantha Leboeuf/dww

TOUCH

OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS TOUCH.  TOUCHING IS ONE OF THE THINGS IN LIFE THAT IS BEAUTIFUL AND HUMAN TOUCH IS ALSO SOMETHING WE NEED.  I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT TOUCH, AND ALTERNATIVES WE HAVE FOR IT.  “SOCIAL DISTANCING” IS NOW RECOMMENDED DUE TO THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC OUR WORLD IS EXPERIENCING. ACCORDING TO GUIDELINES RECOMMENDED BY THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO REMAIN SIX FEET APART AT ALL TIMES.  WE ARE DOWN TO THE LAST FOUR DAYS  OF A “STAY AT HOME” MANDATORY ORDER AT ALL TIMES UNLESS YOU HAVE A JOB THAT REQUIRES YOU TO DRIVE OR TO GO TO THE STORE OR EMERGENCY.  

WHEN THE VIRUS FIRST STARTED, IT ORIGINATED OUT OF WUUAN, CHINA.  THERE HAS BEEN MUCH DISCREPANCY AS TO HOW THIS VIRUS WAS CREATED TO BEGIN WITH.  SOME BELIEVE THERE HAS BEEN A CONSPIRACY TO KILL OFF THE POPULATION AND SOME BELIEVE IT IS POLITICALLY MOTIVATED.  THE MAJORITY OF THE SCIENCE COMMUNITY, (CDC, WHO) BELIEVE IT ORIGINATED FROM A BAT BITING A HUMAN BEING.  THERE IS MUCH WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS, AND WHEN WE THINK WE HAVE A GRASP ON WHAT IT ENTAILS, A NEW SYMPTOM OCCURS AND WE FEEL LIKE WE ARE BACK TO SQUARE ONE.  WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY, TOUCH?  THE ONLY THING THAT SEEMS TO HAVE TRULY MADE A DIFFERENCE WAS WHEN SOCIAL DISTANCING WAS INTRODUCED CAUSING LOWER MORTALITY RATES.  WE NOW HAVE TO DEAL WITH HOW NOT TO TOUCH THOSE WE LOVE IF THEY HAVE NOT BEEN AROUND US AND INSIDE OUR HOME AT THE TIME OF THE STAY AT HOME ORDER.  THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO FATHOM.  BEFORE GOING ANY FURTHER, LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE MEANING OF TOUCH IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND THE DWW MEANING.  

WEBSTER DEFINITION OF TOUCH-AN ACT OF TOUCHING SOMEONE OR SOMETHING.  2.  THE FACULTY OF PERCEPTION THROUGH PHYSICAL CONTACT, ESPECIALLY WITH THE FINGERS.  

DWW MEANING-ONE OF OUR FIVE SENSES THAT MAKE UP THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE.  TOUCH CAN MEAN HOLDING HANDS, HUGGING, EVEN STROKING ANOTHER’S CHEEK.  THIS IS ALL PART OF OUR EXPERIENCE OF EACH EVENT IN OUR LIFE AND MORE IMPORTANT THAN OTHERS REALIZE.  

TOUCH IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS WE CAN EXPERIENCE.  IT IS A PART OF SHOWING AFFECTION FOR PEOPLE.  NOW, UNDER CURRENT CONDITIONS, TOUCHING IS OFF LIMITS.  THIS IS ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT FOR THOSE PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF WHO SHOW THEIR LOVE THROUGH TOUCH.  I WILL HUG SOMEONE WHEN I INITIALLY MEET THEM, AND SADLY, THAT WILL NO LONGER BE THE CASE FOR A LONG TIME.  WE HAVE BEEN UNDER THESE STAY AT HOME ORDERS FOR APPROXIMATELY TWO AND A HALF MONTHS.  MY SON LIVES 20 MINUTES AWAY.  MY MOTHER LIVES 20 MINUTES AWAY IN THE OPPOSITE DRIVING DIRECTION.  I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM FOR TWO AND A HALF MONTHS.  I FEEL SO SAD THAT WHEN I DO SEE MY MOTHER, AND SON AND FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, HUGGING AND KISSING THEM WILL BE DISCOURAGED.  THIS HAS BEEN A HARD TIME ON EVERYONE.  SOME OF US WILL HAVE PTSD, (POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER) FROM THE SHOCK WE HAVE EXPERIENCED OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS.  

I WILL NOW GO BACK TO MY ORIGINAL QUESTION:  WHAT ARE ALTERNATIVES TO TOUCHING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?  I AM SORRY, BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM OUT OF SUGGESTIONS.  I HAVE RECOMMENDED SOME THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE TO DEAL WITH NOT SEEING OUR RELATIVES WHICH IS TO FACETIME ON OUR PHONE SO WE CAN SEE FAMILY.  THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WOULD LIKE TO SAY, BUT IT WOULD BE REDUNDANT.  I DON’T MEAN TO SOUND NEGATIVE OR PESSIMISTIC ABOUT A LACK OF TOUCHING, BUT I ALSO DON’T WANT TO BE DISHONEST.  FOR EXAMPLE, SCIENTIFIC STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT HUMAN TOUCH IS A NECESSITY FOR NEWBORNS AND BABIES.  THEY ARE OFTEN DIAGNOSED WITH “FAILURE TO THRIVE” WHEN THEY ARE LEFT WITHOUT TOUCH WHICH INCLUDES A BABY BEING HELD, THEIR CHEEK STROKED, HOLDING THEIR LITTLE HANDS, OR EVEN BATHING WITHOUT GLOVES WOULD BE SO WONDERFUL TO GO BACK TO.  HOWEVER, THAT IS NOT HOW LIFE WORKS.  THERE HAS BEEN DRASTIC CONSEQUENCES FROM THE COVID-19 VIRUS.  WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THESE DAYS, AND WONDER HOW WE MADE IT THROUGH.  IT WILL BE A LONG TIME HOWEVER, BEFORE WE RETURN TO ANY SEMBLANCE OF NORMALCY.  WE WILL NEED A HEALING REGIME AND IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR ALL OF US.  ONE THING WE CAN DO IS BE THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER SO WE REMEMBER, WE ARE NEVER ALONE NO MATTER HOW LONELY WE MIGHT FEEL.

IF YOU READ THIS ARTICLE ABOUT HUMAN TOUCH, I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY COMMENTS YOU CAN SHARE ABOUT TOUCH, AND NOT HAVING IT HAS AFFECTED YOU?  IN WHAT WAY?  YOU MAY ALSO WRITE A POEM EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS OR LEAVE A QUOTE BELOW THIS ARTICLE WHERE IT SAYS, “JOIN THE DISCUSSION”.  THANKS SO MUCH, SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/DWW

 

SENSITIVITY

OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS SENSITIVITY.  “BEING SENSITIVE” CAN BE BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE.  WHEN I THINK OF SENSITIVITY, I DO THINK OF MYSELF BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE.  IT IS HARD WHEN YOU ARE SENSITIVE AS A CHILD, AND PERHAPS YOU GREW UP WITH A PARENT WHO WAS NOT SENSITIVE BY NATURE.  THIS DESCRIBES MY STEP-FATHER WHO WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DESCRIBED AS A SENSITIVE PERSON.  WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO IS OVERLY-SENSITIVE, AND A PARENT WHO IS NOT THOUGHT OF AS BEING SENSITIVE, A PROBLEM DEVELOPS.  THIS STARTS OFF WITH FRUSTRATION ON THE PARENT’S PART AND PAIN ON THE CHILD’S BEHALF.  BEFORE GOING ANY FURTHER, LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND DAILY WISDOM WORDS DEFINITION OF SENSITIVITY.  

WEBSTER DEFINITION OF SENSITIVITY-1.  A PERSON’S FEELINGS WHICH MIGHT BE EASILY OFFENDED OR HURT;  SENSITIVITIES

DAILY WISDOM WORDS DEFINITION OF SENSITIVITY-BEING IN TUNE WITH YOUR OWN FEELINGS AND 

 

IRONICALLY, AS I GOT OLDER, MY DAD BECAME MORE SENSITIVE.  HOWEVER, SOME OF THE DAMAGE HAD BEEN DONE.  MY BROTHER WAS ALSO A PERSON WHO APPEARED TO BE INSENSITIVE.  LOOKING BACK, I SEE HE USED THIS TOUGH GUY ATTITUDE TO APPEAR TO BE “STRONG”.  PART OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH MY STEP-DAD BEING SUCH A TOUGH PERSON TO DEAL WITH.  HE WAS A LONG-DISTANCE TRUCKER AND USED TO HARD WORK.  HE RAISED HIMSELF FROM THE AGE OF ELEVEN YEARS OLD ON BY BUILDING A VERY PRIMITIVE CABIN IN THE WOODS OF TENNESSEE.  IF YOU LOOK BEHIND A CHILD HAVING TO GET HIS OWN FOOD, CREATE HIS OWN SHELTER AND GROW UP THIS PRIMITIVE, YOU CAN SEE WHY MY DAD WAS THE WAY HE WAS. THE LAST THING HE COULD AFFORD TO BE WAS “SENSITIVE”.

BEING OVERLY-SENSITIVE PRESENTS ISSUES.  THE WORLD IS NOT FULL OF SENSITIVE PEOPLE AND I GET MY FEELINGS HURT EASILY.  I ALSO CRY EASILY.  HOWEVER, TO BE A SENSITIVE INDIVIDUAL IS A GREAT THING.  IT IS WONDERFUL WHEN YOU ARE NOT TOO SENSITIVE TO CRY AT THE DROP OF A HAT, BUT SENSITIVE ENOUGH TO TUNE INTO OTHER’S FEELINGS AND BE CONSCIOUS OF THEM.  LIFE IS A MYRIAD OF EMOTIONS BUT WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO BE LOGICAL HALF THE TIME IN ORDER TO LEARN FROM OTHERS WITHOUT GETTING OUR FEELINGS HURT.  BEFORE WRITING MORE ABOUT THIS, LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE MEANING OF SENSITIVITY IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION.  

WEBSTER DICTIONARY MEANING OF SENSITIVITY-1.  THE QUALITY OR CONDITION OF BEING SENSITIVE. 2.  A PERSON’S FEELINGS WHICH MIGHT BE EASILY OFFENDED OR HURT.  SENSITIVITIES.  

DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF SENSITIVITY- A PERSONALITY TRAIT THAT IS STRONGER IN SOME INDIVIDUAL’S PERSONALITY THAN THEMSELVES.  PEOPLE WHO ARE “SENSITIVE” TEND TO BE MORE EMOTIONAL AND ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ANOTHER’S FEELINGS.  THEY TEND TO EMPATHIZE OR SYMPATHIZE MORE OFTEN THEN A PERSON WHO IS NOT SENSIBLE OR INSENSITIVE.  

THE BEST THING WE CAN DO, WHEN WE HAVE A PERSONALITY TRAIT THAT CAN BE EITHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE IS FILL OUR LIVES WITH THINGS AND INDIVIDUALS THAT UNDERSTAND US AND THIS QUALITY, AS WELL AS FIND A CAREER THAT WILL ENHANCE THIS QUALITY AND USE IT FOR GOOD THINGS.  FOR EXAMPLE, I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED LISTENING AND WORKING WITH KIDS.  

MY POSTS, YOU WILL NOTICE SHOW A CONTROVERSIAL PERSONALITY OR TWO SIDES OF MYSELF.  I THINK THE HARDEST PART I MISS SINCE BEING FORCED TO RETIRE.  THERE AGAIN ARE TWO SIDES OF MY PERSONALITY.  I DON’T NECESSARILY THINK THIS IS UNIQUE.  I MISS SO MUCH THE SOCIAL SIDE OF WHO I AM.  YES, EVEN THOUGH MY CURRENT LIFESTYLE IS REMOTE AND QUIET I AM STILL OVERLY-SENSITIVE.  THIS IS THE ONE QUALITY THAT BOTH SIDES OF WHO I AM, AN INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT.  SENSITIVITY IS A FEELING.  SOMETIMES, THINGS ARE SAID FROM OTHERS AND CAN BE TAKEN TWO WAYS.  MY TENDENCY IS TO TAKE WHATEVER HAS BEEN SAID AND TAKE IT PERSONALLY.  THIS IS THE NEGATIVE SIDE OF MY SENSITIVITY.  

MY POINT IS ANY QUALITY, ESPECIALLY SENSITIVITY, CAN BE TAKEN TO AN EXTREME.  MODERATION IS THE KEY TO ALL QUALITIES WE HAVE, AND IT IS UP TO US TO DO AN HONEST ASSESSMENT ON OURSELVES TO FIGURE OUT IF WE ARE HEALTHY, MENTALLY, AND PHYSICALLY AND ANY QUALITY, ESPECIALLY SENSITIVITY TAKEN TO AN EXTREME, CAN BE A GOOD OR BAD THING DEPENDING ON HOW EXTREME WE TAKE ANY QUALITY TO.  WE NEED TO POLISH OUR PERSONALITY TRAITS TO BE BALANCED AND HEALTHY.  MY QUALITY IS SENSITIVITY WHICH CAN BE BAD OR GOOD DEPENDING ON HOW WE USE IT AND WHAT CAPACITY WE USE IT IN.  

THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING ABOUT SENSITIVITY TODAY.  HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY. SAMANTHA LEBOEUF 

OTHER DAILY WISDOM WORDS THAT MAY BE INTERESTING TO YOU:  http://dailywisdomwords.com/traits/

ALONENESS

TODAY’S DAILY WISDOM WORD WILL BE ALONENESS.  BEING ALONE IS SOMETHING WE NORMALLY DON’T GET ENOUGH OF.  HOWEVER, DUE TO THE CURRENT SITUATION WITH THE COVID-19 VIRUS, WE NOW FIND IT NECESSARY TO BE ALONE.  IF YOU LIVE ON YOU OWN, THIS MAY BE DIFFICULT.  THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR HUGS AND KISSES AND MIXING WITH LOVED ONES.  NOW, WE ARE UNDER QUARANTINE AND SOCIAL DISTANCING IS NECESSARY TO STOP THE VIRUS FROM SPREADING. 

WE MAY ALSO LIVE WITH SOMEONE WHO WE FIND OURSELVES SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH.  WE MAY FIND WE NEED ISOLATION FROM OUR CURRENT SITUATION, WHILE FEELING ALONENESS FOR OUR LOVED ONES.  I PERSONALLY FIND MYSELF CONCERNED ABOUT MY 80 YEAR OLD MOTHER.  SHE IS ALONE AND DOES FINE WITH THIS.  HOWEVER, SHE IS USED TO TRAVELING QUITE FREQUENTLY TO VISIT MY YOUNGER AND OLDER SISTER IN CALIFORNIA AND WE ARE USED TO BEING ABLE TO SEE EACH OTHER.  NOW IS THE TIME TO PICK UP THOSE HOBBIES YOU LET GO OF BECAUSE NORMALLY WE DO NOT HAVE TIME TO PRACTICE AND ENJOY THEM. 

LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE DEFINITION OF ALONENESS IN THE WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND THE DAILY WISDOM WORDS DEFINITION.

WEBSTER DICTIONARY MEANING-HAVING NO ONE ELSE PRESENT.  ON ONE’S OWN. 

DAILY WISDOM WORDS DEFINITION-ALONENESS IS SOLITUDE TO BEGIN WITH AND LONELINESS OVER AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME.  WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE.  MAKE THE RIGHT ONE IF YOU WANT TO STAY AS MENTALLY HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE. 

 

NOW IS THE TIME ESPECIALLY NOT TO PANIC.  THERE IS A CERTAIN FEELING OF FEAR WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT ALONENESS COULD MEAN IN THE NEAR FUTURE.  I WORRY ABOUT THE NEXT TIME I WILL BE ABLE TO TRAVEL TO SEE MY DAUGHTER, SON-IN-LAW AND GRANDCHILD.  I LIVE 20 MINUTES NEAR MY SON AND HIS FIANCE, YET WE CANNOT SEE THEM.  THERE IS A FEELING OF ISOLATION WHEN WE THINK ABOUT THIS.  THERE IS ALSO THE FEELINGS WE HAVE OF PANIC WHICH WE NEED TO CONTAIN.  THE STRONGEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE IS TO STAY IN THE PRESENT.  WE CANNOT CONTROL THE FUTURE, AND WE CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST.  

IF YOU ARE ALONE, AND YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK WITH, DAILY WISDOM WORDS HAS A RETIRED PSYCHOLOGIST ON OUR WRITING STAFF NAMED DR. SHANNI DOVER.  SHE CAN REFER YOU TO NEEL, (THE WISDOMOLOGY PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE) OR MYSELF (WE ARE MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATES. THE WEBPAGE YOU WANT TO VISIT AFTER YOU JOIN, IS DAILY WISDOM WORDS.COM/WISE-ADVICE.   IT IS $5 RIGHT NOW TO JOIN DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM AND COUNSELING FOR YOU IS PART OF YOUR MEMBERSHIP.  THERE ARE ALSO FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUPS, PRAYER GROUPS ONLINE, AND PLACES ONLINE TO GET HELP.  WE TRULY ARE HERE FOR YOU.  THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING,  SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM/ALONENESS

 

SORROW

The Daily Wisdom Word today is “Sorrow”.  Sorrow is a part of the human condition.  Sorrow is a part of life.  Sorrow is a deeper form of sadness that comes when we finally accept there is no hope to fix the situation we are currently sad about.  This is why I say sorrow is one step further down the ladder than sadness.  I believe when we feel sad, the smallest thing can turn us around that resembles hope.  I believe when we feel sorrow, we have been down that road of hope and know the best thing that can come of a situation is the ending of it.  This is how we are able to once again, eventually be happy.  Let’s take a look at the definition of Sorrow in our Webster Dictionary and the Daily Wisdom Words Definition.

Webster’s definition of sorrow-1.  a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.  2.  the outward expression of grief, lamentation.  3.  an event or circumstance that causes sorrow/

Daily Wisdom Word Definition of sorrow-1.  a feeling of deep sadness where all hope is lost and the only resort is to move on from the situation because it is irreconcilable.  

When you analyze a situation in thirty different ways, and you see no answer to what is causing your sorrow, you are left with one choice.  You must in order to find a feeling of peace again, make a formal change to avoid this feeling of sorrow because along with sorrow comes “hopelessness.”  Hopelessness is the worst feeling of all because it comes along with the feeling of sorrow or sadness and it means one must accept the only way to deal with this situation is to pray for a miracle or make a drastic change.  

Have you ever been deeply in love?  So in love, in fact, you could not see reality or the forest through the trees?  Let us add to this story a bit.  You are so in love with him BUT nothing you can say or do can seem to stop him from lying to you.  He tells you he loves you so much, yet he cannot help himself.  He lies.  This is a situation where you will not be able to “change him”.  In other words, all hope is lost and the deep root of sorrow has planted itself in your soul.   

I have been through a situation just like the one I described and tried for many months believing in him and his words, not his actions.  I was sad inside but must have still believed somewhere inside me, there was hope that he would make the changes necessary to give our relationship a sincere shot.  This was about the time I found a nude picture in his wallet and it wasn’t from playboy.  The picture he held in his wallet wasn’t his money wallet but the picture application built on his phone.  It also showed the date the picture had been taken and the time.  (EVENING).  I could only imagine her sending the picture his way and the conversation logic told me they must have had to get her to send such a disgusting picture to someone who had a fiancee’.  I think this was about the time the anger began to pass, and I felt more than sad.  I felt sorrow.  

To this day, if you ask him what happened in this relationship, he will dig in his “mental wallet” and find plenty of blame to go around.  Yet, I tried so hard to make it work with him.  I spoke to a psychologist just the other day about him.   You see, he is in love with someone else.  in fact, he won’t even talk to me.  (too bad he never showed me that kind of respect).  I met him as he was coming out of a relationship with a woman with two children.  He had dated her approximately two years and called them his children.  I am sure the word, “wife” was mentioned as well.   I told him “BEFORE” getting involved with him that he would have to cut ties with that situation.  The first full year I dated him, he continued to see the three of them for dinners as a family would and continued to tell me it was over.  Of course, I believed him.  I have always believed in giving someone the benefit of the doubt before deciding they are a liar.  I had a feeling in my stomach I simply couldn’t ignore.  This ” feeling” it turned out was accurate.  It was a feeling of distrust.  Long story short, I have over the years forgiven him until recently when the past has come to haunt me.  You see, he told me I was his best friend or one of them and now that I need him, he can’t or won’t talk to me.  So much for friendship.  I had the surprise of a nude photo.  She has the surprise that he has dumped his friends for her.  

I wish I could write something happier today, but I do believe there is still a bright, sunny light for me waiting.  I just can’t count on him to even be my friend as I am going through a difficult time.  Thank you for reading.

Samantha LeBoeuf/Founder, Daily Wisdom Words, LLC

LONELINESS

What makes us lonely?  When do we feel loneliness and how do we get ourselves out of these dark places?  Let us first take a look at the meaning of loneliness in our Webster Dictionary as well as my best interpretation of how it should be defined?

Webster Definition of Loneliness-1.  Sadness because one has no friends or company  2.  The fact of being without companions;  solitariness . 3.  The quality of being unfrequented and remote;  isolation. 

Daily Wisdom Word Definition of  lonliness-feeling sad and depressed, usually because we have been alone too much.  

Loneliness often happens when we spend too much time alone, or spend our time with someone who is not the right person for us to be giving our time to.  What this means is if your with the wrong person in a relationship, it can easily feel your as alone as you would be without anyone around you, so it is important for us to distinguish between the two.  If your al0ne too often, you may also feel lonely as well.

feeling loneliness at different points in our life, for example after a breakup with another person,, is normal and we need to feel loneliness when we break up with someone to a certain degree to get through the steps of going through the breakup, (acceptance being the ultimate goal), we need to feel lonely so we can learn how to entertain ourselves  in a different environment such as  spending time with friends.  

Loneliness, when felt too often, could be a part of a bigger picture.  Depression is common amongst adults, but there are different degrees of it.  Feeling lonely is a part of depression, and in this case, part of a larger group of symptoms that go along with depression.  

Loneliness is more common than we’d like to admit.  It is also important to note when you’re feeling lonely, after a breakup, you can’t fix the feeling by spending time with just anyone to fill the void.  In fact, it can actually aggravate your feelings of loneliness by spending time with someone to fill the void, making the condition worse.  

Sometimes, on a rainy day, or in an environment of sadness, we may find ourselves feeling lonely for no apparent reason.  This is normal and not something to be concerned about.  Perhaps we’re at a place in our lives were ready to get into a relationship or just need to be with friends. Regardless, loneliness is a part of the human condition.  When you feel lonely, your job is to figure out why and again, if it is a part of something bigger, like depression.  Sometimes feeling lonely is because we simply need a hug or human contact.

Thanks so much for reading about loneliness today.  Now that your finished reading, scroll down beneath the post, where it says, “join the discussion” and leave a comment about your experiences with loneliness, or write a poem or quote about it.  Thanks so much,

Samantha Leboeuf/DWW

LAMENTATION

What does lamentation mean and have you experienced it?  Let us take a look at the Webster Definition of lamentation.

Lamentation-1. the passionate expression of grief and sorrow.  weeping

Daily Wisdom Word Meaning of Lamentation-A feeling so deep in sadness and extreme, sad emotion.

Have you experienced lamentation with a personal tragedy in your life?  Personal tragedy is so deep and compassionate or it can be personal and it becomes lamentation.  

I have experienced lamentation three or four times in my life.  The first time was the loss of my sweet grandmother.  She was so special and sweet.  She was always kind, and very unique.  Sometimes, you might mistake her as not being intelligent, but she was.  She had some of the highest,deepest emotional intelligence that I knew from anyone.  I always would hold her hand, and when she passed away, she did so peacefully in her sleep.  I think God gave her such a peaceful passing because of her kindness to others.  She laughed easily, and always smiled.  This was my first experience with lamentation.

After that, I lost my father.  He was the stability in our family and always represented strength to me.  He was in alot of pain before he passed for the last two years, from Brain Cancer, but he never complained.  He was strong in that old fashioned way  where you could lean on him, not necessarily where you could talk to him about a problem, but you could lean on him for strength.  I miss him terribly.  

I also felt lamentation when I lost my first dog.  I could not stop weeping and felt incredible sadness and sorrow.  Our dog we had for fourteen years, and she was part of the family.  I loved her as I would a human being.  She could sense your sadness and was so kind.  I miss her terribly even today.  

Thank you so much for reading about lamentation and my experiences with it.  It would mean so much to me if anyone who reads this, share their experience with lamentation beneath this article, where it says, “Join the Discussion”.  

I would like to see some kindness spread around after the two tragedies and loss of life people experienced in their grief and my heart goes out to them.  

Samantha LeBoeuf/DWW