We make decisions everyday. Sometimes we as adults living in a world full of controversy, find our decisions can’t be answered by saying yes or no. This is a language analogy I have created, but if you read it, it will make sense to you. I view questions that are simple, answered best in black or white. For example, if I ask you, ” how often do you brush your teeth?” The answer I will be elicit from you will be a “black and white” answer because we can answer this question from a base of knowledge based on facts and habit patterns well established. I could also ask you a question like this: “How old are you?” The answer would be very simple, falling in an end spectrum of black or white. However, what if I asked you how you feel about your belief system like your ideas on how to raise a child?
The answer for this kind of question is not usually black and white but somewhere in the middle. The answer sometimes, falls into the gray. Now, let’s take a look at the Webster Meaning of Gray.
Webster Definition of Gray-A color with intermediate shades between black or white. for example, an ashened sky.
Daily Wisdom Word Definition of Gray-1. a word that represents a mixture of black with white. 2. an answer that is considered to have various perspectives and differences to a question that is more complicated than relaying a fact.
Today we live in a world that is clearly “gray”. This world seems much more complicated for us than it did in the 1950’s. Sometimes, when the subject of a question is complicated, so is the answer. You may also be very analytical like me. In this case, you may not feel you’ve answered a question from your heart if you give the black and white answer you view as more complicated. I know this is true for me. I have a hard time answering most questions without an answer involving the gray. There are simply too many aspects and perspectives to my answer, I don’t feel right answering with a simple black and white answer like yes and no. If I did this, it would go against who I am.
The more technology and knowledge we gain, our answers become answers in the gray. If someone asks us our political beliefs and we are on the fence about them, because independent voter is in the middle, we answer in a variety of grays. Gray is and has always been a color described as non-discreet but answers that fall within the various shades of gray or even are gray are not easy answers to give. It is so important in our world to realize that answering in the “grays” requires much more explanation if someone has asked your opinion on something you have that can’t be answered with a black or white answer.
What I would really like others to understand. as well as those who read this post is life is complicated. You may have to seek answers in the gray, when you are asking what is best to do for yourself or another. There will always be with this kind of question many different aspects and facts you have to look at. These gray questions as I call them, require us to weigh many different pros and cons. Often, we find ourselves choosing the best solution to our question, because our answers available are not perfect and factual.
We are forced to make a decision as to what is best for ourselves or someone we are responsible for. These kinds of answers always fall, “in the gray”. These answers are far from perfect but they are the “best answer” we are able to come up with. This is hard on us, because without a perfect and easy question, we are forced to pick the best option for our particular situation. Because we care so much for the other party in this case, we must think and think weighing pros and cons to all solutions possible. The hardest decisions I have had to make fall into “the grays”.
I remember when I had breast cancer. They gave me a choice of a mastectomy or a lumpectomy. There were many cons in my mind about which choice would be best. This is probably when I first began thinking, “there are no perfect decisions in life”. The only option we do have, is to take what information we do know and choose the least complex answer. These kinds of answers only come when we decide what works better for us based on our circumstances. Not only do these answers prove most difficult to find a solution for, but there is a greater margin of error.
We do choose what we think may be best but sometimes, not matter what the facts are, we make a mistake and pick the wrong gray answer when we see the outcome of our decision. My choice with the breast cancer was to get a lumpectomy. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing what I viewed as a part of me. This decision has cost me in some ways, having to be more diligent with breast examinations always looking over my shoulder for the cancer to return.
Please don’t beat yourself up over a decision you had to make, if it turns out to be the wrong one. Many of us blame ourselves when things don’t work out as we had hoped, but we did do our best to find the proper solution. We are human beings who make mistakes no matter how much thought we may put into something. May God Bless You All.
Samantha LeBoeuf/Daily Wisdom Words
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