“Tied to apron strings, dreams forget to fly!”
The noblest thoughts we can have is wanting to help someone, especially when we’re personally not gaining anything from it. Help is what takes humanity forward. Help is what keeps everyone going as we all need it at many stages of our lives.
But is there a limit to that? Does there come a stage when it’s time to let go; when it’s time to cut the apron strings? According me to, yes there is.
The answer may surprise you, but it’s when the person stops wanting it. Let me elaborate. By no means am I implying to determine that by “I want help” or “I don’t want to help.”
Rather, I’m talking about observing certain signs that will tell you. For example, a person may be an alcoholic and squandered his or her life savings over it. At some point they may say that they’re ready to seek help but need help financially to start a new life. So you give them money.
At this stage one of two things might happen. Either that person will make a serious attempt to change and get back on track or he or she will take the money you gave and spend it on alcohol. If it’s the latter, you have to assume that they don’t want your help.
It’s possible that people in that position don’t even know themselves if they genuinely want help. They may think they do but if any assistance they get goes back to their vices due to some negative temptations, subconsciously they didn’t want it. At least not for the right reasons.
In my opinion, that’s when it’s time to cut off the strings. In order to help people in any endeavor, they have to want it consciously and subconsciously.
Personally, I’ve always utilized the “third time’s the charm” philosophy in these kind of situations. I will try to help someone in any way I can within my capacity. If the third time I do so results in setting the person back instead of moving ahead, I stop.
Can there be exceptions to the rule? Of course there can. But those exceptions can be analyzed as well. If you helped someone three times, ask yourself a simple question. Even if the person didn’t move forward, did your help at least stabilize them or did it set them back? If it did indeed stabilized them, continue if you can or wish to do so. If it set them back, stop.
For example, a person who is poor may frequently ask for help. Any money or other kind of assistance may help them and their family periodically. It may not move them from a homeless shelter to a mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but each instance of assistance may provide full meals for them.
People in that situation may not necessarily move forward so quickly but if their meals are taken care of, that’s one area of life which wasn’t stabilized before but now is. And you know they want and appreciate the help because no one wants to go hungry.
Help people who genuinely want and if it’s within your capacity to do so. But make sure that help leads to some significance, big or small.
Do you agree or disagree with the points made in this post? How do you feel about helping people? Do you track your assistance to see where exactly or how far it goes? Do you believe in doing so? Why or why not? Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below on our secure servers.
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