What is infatuation and what is the difference between infatuation and love?
Let us first take a look at the meaning of infatuation in our Webster Dictionary-Infatuation: 1. An intense but short-lived passion for someone or something
Daily Wisdom Word Meaning-Infatuation: 1. A feeling generally felt when someone is in love with someone. Infatuations tend to last temporarily, and usually either end, or turn into a deeper, more meaningful love.
When was the last time you were infatuated? It is such an intense feeling and a feeling that leaves you on an emotional high. The best way to explain infatuation is to give you examples of it through my own experiences.
All my life I have been plagued with infatuation. I would meet someone, develop an instant crush on them before I even knew who they were on the inside, and set my sights on them. Once we were dating, rarely did the infatuation end quickly.
Infatuation for me, was never short-lived. I think because the feeling is supposed to be temporary, it ends when the relationship deepens, but many of my relationships never did. I would continue to date the man, because of the infatuation, and generally they were emotionally unavailable. This caused many heartaches when the infatuation was finally over, because it is easily misidentified with love.
Love is caring for someone for their good and bad qualities. Infatuation is more about seeing someones good qualities only, so when these relationships ended, there was always the feeling that there could have been so much more with them if they had been willing to put the time into the relationship.
On their end, I assume it was only infatuation too, because they ended the relationship when it started to get serious. Infatuation is like a high. You feel as if your on the highest high, rarely need a full nights sleep and spend three hours getting ready for a date. You rarely sleep the night before, and the dreams you have, are about the person you are so infatuated with.
I remember being in a great mood all day simply because I was going to see this person that evening, and it carrying throughout the date.
What happens when infatuation does turn into actual love over time, because this does happen. It happened to me more than once. Generally over time, you learn to accept the person for their flaws, the good, bad and the ugly. The infatuation may linger in brief moments throughout the relationship, but there is love there as well.
Infatuation can take you on a roller coaster ride, going up and down with your emotions just like a rollercoaster ride, based on whether this individual is more or less infatuated than you. If they are less infatuated, you are so depressed when they have to cancel a date. If they are more infatuated with you, your the one cancelling the date!
Infatuation is a normal stage we all experience at some point in the beginning of any love relationship and it does slowly wane off, as we get to know them, flaws and all. Be careful if all of your relationships are built only around infatuation, and you end them after it has worn off. It could be a sign that your emotionally unavailable. You may need to seek counseling for this.
The last person I was with, ran through stages of infatuation and reality about me. When he saw the reality of who I was, both good and bad, he broke up with me. After he had been away from me for a while, the infatuation would set in again, and he would only want me until my flaws appeared so relationships can go back and forth. Sometimes this is normal, and sometimes, not.
Thank you for reading about infatuation with me today. I expect to see poems and quotes about infatuation and back stories behind them after being so honest and forthright with you! That is actually my job as a writer so poems and simple quotes are fine too.
Have a beautiful and blessed day.
Samantha
July 26th, 2018
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I so wish I could’ve read this years ago and really taken it in. Samantha talks about the “high” of the infatuation. I could not have been a better candidate. Abused as a child, bullied at school, and suffering from depression and anxiety since childhood, I HAD to keep the high going. I thought THIS was feeling like a real person. Finally, God answered my prayers and someone actually liked me. It was supposed to be like this. The high was also a distraction. I was unconsciously bypassing all of my pain. My problems. Unwittingly, I was phasing out everything and everyone else. This infatuation was taking over my life, and there wasn’t anything else in it. I didn’t notice this at the time. Not only did I see just the good points in this man (and there weren’t many and I KNEW it), I completely ignored everything else. When he said something mean and laughed, I just looked the other way. He was cruel to me, and I ALWAYS looked the other way. I told myself everybody has faults. He didn’t even have to make his own excuses – I had it covered. Even if he was a complete worthless free-loader, he was MY worthless free-loader, and he promised me things were getting better. (dammit, he was just so pretty . . .) I never opened my mouth as if I mattered at all. Better not rock the boat. I look back now and I see the things I was doing, and it does seem pathetic; but, I also realize that my whole life had been set up for this to happen. I should have been on high alert. My parents were always critical of me and belittling. I was screamed at. I was hit. It had never even occurred to me that I should be treated like a human being like everybody else. Being treated badly was all I’d ever had. It was all I knew. I was holding on. In for the long haul. Was it desperation at the thought of suffering yet another loss that created a panic in me? Being without? True love? Infatuation? I never even thought about it. I just KNEW I couldn’t be without it. Well . . . now I am without it. When the money was gone, so was he. It’s been a lot of work trying to heal myself. And, I have learned so much. Unfortunately, I guess, I am in my 50’s. I feel old and run down – like I can’t take much more because of what I’ve been through. It is so common place today, for people to say “don’t be a victim”; “be a survivor”. We are told just to cut these toxic people out of our lives, be grateful for the lessons we’ve learned and move on. This is all great in theory. But, there HAS been damage done to me. I have been thru trauma. I made really bad decisions. I let the infatuation ruin my life. I am not revengeful or self-pitying, and I know there isn’t a redo. (Why can’t we have just one or two? Seems reasonable.) “Make a negative into a positive” – maybe that is the goal. Perhaps a strength can come from it. At this point, I cannot say what lies ahead, what decisions I will make as I move forward. Maybe there should be an occasion in every young girl’s life, like the day she receives her first Bible. She gets a packet of materials “Horrible, Demonic Meanies: Who They Are, How to ID Them and How to Get Out”. What infatuation is; what narcissism is; abuse, entitlement, what it really means to be used and mistreated. What it feels like to give everything, get nothing back, and have nothing left of yourself when it’s all over. Some people will scoff at this and say that should be common sense. But, what if, to you, it isn’t? Wasn’t? All this being said, I feel that Daily Wisdom Words is a beautiful resource. I go to it every morning like a ritual. For insight, inspiration, guidance, support, and hope. It can be a real eye opener. After all, it is hard to not be honest with yourself, when you are staring at the words of truth in print right before your eyes. And, you never know when someone else’s words will ignite that little flicker of hope that had been lost for so very long. From this day forward, my mantra is this: “The world is full of illusions. I search for the truth in all things.”
Hi there,
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the courage to tell your story. You made so many interesting points. This story aligns with mine in many ways. Thank you for allowing some additional insite to those that suffer from infatuation relationships like that. Thank you for living in the truth rather than an illusion. We need to hear the truth. Thanks so much, sister. God bless you!! Btw, things will get better. Your the same age range as me and I believe there is hope for us!!!’ Much love, thank you again!! Samantha
I won’t take that personally I’m a very open person and tend to share my flaws with others in my writing. Thanks very much for your comment. Samantha