HOW DO YOU LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? FIRST, think of the most IMPORTANT person in your life. Then ask yourself what kind of love you feel for that person. What “TYPE” of love is it? HOW do we define LOVE? How do we define love, without relationships? There are too many situations, to define love, without RELATIONSHIPS so the two go together, unless it is self-love. I have divided “relationships” into three different examples, to demonstrate the kind of relationships most of us experience, and how/why love and relationships go together in these examples.
I have described each of three types of relationships, and how love is likely to play a role in them. ONE of these three examples,is toxic. How do you feel for that person?? When older, you may “SWITCH BACK AND FORTH, between different kinds of Relationships due to the wisdom gained and what was learned, in past ones. This wisdom is contingent on learning from your mistakes.
These THREE examples of the way we can love, in a relationship, are possibilities. You make the decision what kind you would like to be in. There are many other examples, and viewpoints than mine, but I feel this touches on the basics. This gives us meaning of our relationships and I hope you can identify with the examples. In some of your relationships, you may have a connection with another, and change it at any time. Because of this, relationships do come from the heart, and depending on the love, and potential, on both people involved in one, can change for the positive or negative, eventually ending or progressing. I was Example #2, now I am Example #3, for my love relationship, so we do learn from our mistakes. If you are example 2,
Please feel free to ask me any questions or comments are also appreciated.
Webster definition–1. a narrative account 2. One as in thought or meaning. 3. Connection by blood or marriage. 4. A relative ( you have a relationship with, (added) 5. The connections between persons or nations.
Daily Wisdom Word Definition: 1. A change towards another or SELF, that begins, when we start or are in a relationship. 2. Love, Placing an other’s needs before your own, because your feelings are so strong within your soul. usually(Example 1)-A type of relationship, that is the truest love at all, but most of us view this as love.
We all love others. We all have different ways we express it, that is unique to each of us.
Sometimes, in a relationship, it is about letting go, because the love within it is negative and toxic. ‘RELATIONSHIPS ARE, LOVE IN ACTION!” Love is also about commitment and , trust and love must be shared in any relationship if both parties would like to reap the full benefits of it with our heart. I will write today about which example, of relationships involving love of some kind, most important. Remember: A relationship means working with another, so both parties efforts, determine how good it is in most cases.
Love, is so different from any other feeling we have. Why? Because when we love another, we express this best through our actions towards one another.
I feel the deepest love I will ever have, is the love I have for my children and first, God. I love my children and God, unconditionally. I love them for all their strengths, mistakes, achievements, qualities, uniqueness, and I love them from the deepest place in my heart. I love God within that same place.
EXAMPLE 1-UNCONDITIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
If my grown daughter or son is sick, I worry, and I love them so much that despite anything, we go through, in life, I love them “unconditionally!”, which is a very healthy type of relationship. I have loved in the past, other ways, but this type of love NEVER wavers. IT is what is and the love is always there. There are times, when we know each other so well, we don’t need words in a TYPE 1 relationship. We just feel how they feel, (empathy), and are so touched by the depth of it, we cry with them when they hurt. Unconditional love, is, as it sounds. Love, without conditions.
Example 1, demonstrates the display of love in relationships easily. I will give a simple analogy. If you have only one egg left for breakfast, you cook it, and give it to the other. This is unconditional love. If you see many flaws within the individual, you only see them ONCE. Why? Because you accept this person, “as is. There is no “warranty” or expiration date. with this type of love, in any relationship, IF, we lose someone in death, we let go without guilt knowing we did all we could to help that person, and complimented this person, side by side always turning their negatives, into positives, and giving all you had to give to them. (IDEAL)
IF we lose this person, and we are also “IN LOVE” with them, we can let them go, again knowing we did everything we possibly could to try in the relationship. Love is also about letting go. TYPE 1 love, is letting go, and wishing the person happiness, even if they are leaving you for another woman. TYPE 1 is rare. It is a “no judgement love”. They as a couple usually don’t pass them over for another, but if they do, they love one another, still, but apart, able break it off if it changes, but this is a lifetime love. With Type 1 relationships we still love them from afar but we are able to LET GO. I personally, am not type one but would love to be in a relationship with TYPE 1 love, for it is the healthiest form of Love. In this Type of love we rarely see expectations from the other. Trust, respect, and dignity of one another apart or together is a natural feeling in this type of love for it is a lifetime love with no expiration date.
TYPE 2-CONDITIONAL RELATIONSHIPS – Love within this kind of relationship, sometimes is not about loving one another at all. It can start, with vulnerability. What we don’t like about the other, we try to change within them/ or they, with us, and this is unhealthy, and shows the weakness underlying the relationship. THE FOUNDATION of a relationship is so important. When we find ourselves loving, but unaccepting, of all of another’s flaws and try to change them, we are LOVING OURSELVES, trying to re-create them into our image of love, which is not who they, but you are. We want them to change. Don’t confuse compromise, with changing another. We do need to compromise, to have a good relationship. We want this person, but only the perfect part of them in our eyes.
” When we help the other, we expect some type of reward, or payback and throw it in the others face, when arguing using the past for our benefit. Trust, respect and dignity is questioned at all times from you or_them.
This kind of love involves others that are often “BROKEN”. With this, EXAMPLE 2 RELATIONSHIP, Love often will involve trying to “FIX OR SAVE THE OTHER PERSON”.
All relationships, EVEN Type 1, will have issues. we are aware of these “glitches” and we cannot work them out, yet, we waste precious time, trying to save a LOST CAUSE. The cost of loss of the relationship is too high not to, because this kind of relationship, takes pieces of you, with them, and the only way to get those pieces back, is to end the relationship.
You are most likely involved with one who is very selfish, or even a narcissist, psychopath, or even a sociopath. When this example, of LOVE starts playing out between the partners, communication is very poor, and when expressed, it is about “THEM OR US” depending on who is most selfish, or has psychiatric issues, that we cannot change...LINES, I CALL FINGER POINTING LINES, are very common in this type of relationship.
When we point at the other with our finger, we have four fingers pointing back at us. WE PERHAPS NEED TO FOCUS ON OURSELVES OR THEY DO.
There are so many things that are NOT working, and with a Type 2 relationship. We see ourselves in roles of Victim and Abuser, or are “manipulated, into what I call “role reversal” by the other party.” This means that they “project onto you, all of their issues.” If they are abusive towards you, they accuse you of being abusive! If they are unkind, they tell you or vise-versa, you are selfish. This type of love is UNHEALTHY, and neither party grows individually and the most vulnerable one in it, grows co-dependent, and loses their SELF-ESTEEM, over a period of time, which was week to begin with. This party is either, harsh, or compliments one another growing together as well as apart. There are always TRUST issues with TYPE 2 relationships, RELATIONSHIPS, and love are often about “control” or victimization. These relationships are “TOXIC” and the kind of love felt, generally falls. One party feels stronger towards the other, always trying to “make things right”. When you find yourself involved in this example of types of love and relationships, turn around and run.
In TYPE 2 relationships, you hear lines like, “I love him, BUT, I feel like he is too lazy for my lifestyle.” DID You know, When we use the word, “BUT” in a sentence, it cancels out any word before it within that sentence? You will switch back and forth between “in love and love”, and infatuation is part of the picture, sometimes idolizing the other.
This further adds to these unfavorable conditions, making it nearly impossible for one to make the other happy, and it is not our job to do so, anyway! We are responsible for our own happiness, and anything past that, is not healthy. Of course we make efforts, but there is a fine line between this example of “LOVE, and CO-DEPENDENCY.”
LOVE, is NOT a water fountain we turn on or off. However, the one we are involved with, is able to do so with love, or we are. It is about “who we see, and when we finally see them for who they are.” Their true colors, finally show, and if we cannot love them for all of their colors, we should not call it love, because it is about ourselves, not them, and for them, vice-versa. IT is love with conditions that will need to be met to make the other happy, but if that change, they talk about, occurs, they either don’t recognize it, or move onto the next item they would like the other to change. There ” will always be an expiration date on this relationship” and it involves emotions such as jealousy, rage, controlling the other, or them controlling you, and it is always painful for one or the other. The healthiest individual out of the two will be the one to end it.
This type of love sometimes drags on years and years, because the person in it, doesn’t have enough self esteem after all the years of being with this person. They feel without them, they are often broken. With little, or no self-esteem, even as this relationship continues, for years. In reality, it has been over, for years. If you need advice, about this type of relationship, or just need to vent, share your comment, or privately email me at Samantha@www.dailywisdomwords.com, and although I am not a licensed professional, I have been through this type of relationship, and it truly changed me forever.
EXAMPLE #3 -EVOLVING RELATIONSHIPS (MOST COMMON IN LOVE RELATIONSHIPS or any kind, where two parties are equal participants in it.)
This type of love is most common, and we are truly loving another AND, we are always working TOGETHER on issues within the relationship and a deep commitment is “shared” within this relationship. There are problems within these relationships and sometimes we have trouble with working at what they are, but there is love, shared, so, we both try, and succeed in most cases. Often, this kind of relationship which is most common is ended, “too soon”. We can’t seem to communicate clearly to them, at times, or they us, so couples counseling is suggested
because Example 3 relationships have a nice platform to work off of. It is about accepting them, “as is” and good compromise and open communication in a healthy manner. and if worked on, this relationship can be very successful!
In Example #3 relationships, the kind of “love” we share, is genuinely shared. and Who we share it with is determined by the effort placed in the relationship by both parties. Changes involve both parties, COMPROMISING and COMMUNICATING. There are arguments, but they are resolved. This type of love involves loving another, and working things out, despite MISTAKES. Love is also about the commitment level we have together, and example 3 relationships have a deep one on both sides.
*Important to note, through our lives, we may”switch from one example of a relationship to another, depending on what our external circumstances are, or within the same relationship, there could be hope with a JOINT effort to change the mechanics of the relationship. Depending on the foundation beneath each relationship or how hard we work on one, and the other willing as well, it is possible the relationship is worth working for. Only you know in your heart.
We Love each person in our lives, differently, so you may experience different types, for each person. I love my children differently, than I love my fiance, in this type of relationship, unselfishly, truly wanting his happiness, and wanting, no matter what, what is best for him, because I am not going to LOVE – HATE/feelings
Love is such a beautiful thing to see in others, and ourselves. Self-Love, should be within ourselves, when we are in a relationship. Loving the other party if about SHARING. Trust, respect, and dignity, play the major roles, so there is no room for it. Love is God Given, and “God is LOVE’ I believe. Don’t be afraid to truly love in your relationships, and if you LOVE yourself, you will know when it is time to call it quits. You’re not alone, so feel confident with self-effort, counseling, or biofeedback, you can fix this, and this is something we should always try to work on, for “LIFE without LOVE, is walking through it, dead already.”
Love is often within, displayed, without words, for they are unnecessary. Love speaks for itself, and watching it from our hearts to another, is one of the most beautiful things in life, especially if it is shared. It is sad, when we fear we would get hurt if we were to fall in love with someone, so we walk away, we find ourselves looking BACK, wondering what could HAVE BEEN. SL
WE NEED TO EXPERIENCE LOVE, SHARING IT IN ALL OUR RELATIONSHIPS, AND GIVE LOVE AS OFTEN AS WE ARE ABLE IN THIS LIFE, because love, is, when a healthy experience, so deep it is our soul touching another’s. How rare is that? It is so beautiful to experience, and I have once experienced that feelings. We most likely, with others,
Do not love each person the same…Think of the most important relationship you have right now and then look at the types of love, above.
Love is also about being able to be who you are and be accepted for . The good, the bad or ugly. Not experiencing love in a relationship over the span of a lifetime, is also sad. “What we do not experience, we don’t have to hurt, but we also don’t share love with another.” I have had this thought in the past, but I am still grateful for the lessons all my relationships have taught me, and the good times, minus the bad. I am a sensitive person, and need someone who can love in a relationship, like me: Passionately. You, on the other hand, may desire something else such as practicality like my sister.
Love is the most beautiful creation God gave us, and we can’t share it, unless we are in a relationship of some kind. However, we are a work in progress, and sometimes it takes this work to make those relationships work. Which example fits your current Love Relationship?
One last note on all relationships: “INFATUATION”, is never a good place to start if you are trying to build one with another. In the end, if that is what started the relationship, and flaws seen as unacceptable, by the one who started out, infatuated, causes loss of it, and the beginning of the end in it.
These relationships, end, almost always, due to imperfection showing in another, and that is not a love relationship at all.
We are all a work in progress, and “Perfectly Imperfect”. SL
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