Daily Wisdom Words

2020 “SAYING GOODBYE TO 2020”

2020- WHAT A YEAR THIS HAS BEEN FOR ALL OF US.  I CAN SIMPLY DO A MONTH TO MONTH ANALYSIS, AND NONE OF IT IS HAPPY.  WHEN I LOOK AT JANUARY, 2020, I REMEMBER THE PANDEMIC FINALLY FINDING ITS WAY IN THE NEWS.  HONESTLY, UP UNTIL THIS POINT, OTHER THAN A BRIEF SMALL PRINT ARTICLE I SAW ONLINE, I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS.  YES, OF COURSE, I HAVE WATCHED SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES, BUT OTHER THAN THAT, NEVER THOUGHT SERIOUSLY ABOUT A PANDEMIC. 

FEBRUARY-2020-I AM NOW TRACING BACK TO MEMORIES IN 2020 FOR FEBRUARY.  WE VISITED MY DAUGHTER TOWARDS THE END OF THE MONTH IN BOISE, IDAHO.  TRAVEL RESTRICTIONS AND NEW SEATING ARRANGEMENTS ON AIRCRAFT WERE BEGINNING TO TAKE PLACE.  STILL, OTHER THAN NIGGLING WORRY, I WAS NOT TOO CONCERNED AT THIS POINT.  MY FOCUS AT THIS TIME WAS ON MY LITTLE SISTER, JENNY.  HER MEDICAL REPORTS WERE NOT GOOD.   MY MOTHER FLEW TO CALIFORNIA ABOUT THIS TIME TO SEE HER.  SHE HAD LOST A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF WEIGHT.  I WAS STILL IN A BIT OF DENIAL ABOUT THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE SITUATION.  JENNY, NOT ONE TO COMPLAIN DIDN’T TELL ME DUE TO THE PAIN WITH HER MOUTH AND SORE ON HER TONGUE THAT WAS ABOUT TO BE REMOVED, SHE COULDN’T EAT DUE TO THE PAIN.  I ALSO WAS NOT INFORMED THAT INITIALLY, WHEN THE HER CANCER WAS DIAGNOSED, IT WAS BETWEEN A STAGE THREE AND FOUR.  THIS IN ITSELF WOULD HAVE BEEN TERRIFYING FOR ME.  NOT ONLY WERE THERE ESCALATIONS IN HER DECLINE, BUT THERE WERE ESCALATIONS IN NUMBERS OF PEOPLE LIVING WITH COVID-19 AND THEN DYING.  NO CURE WAS INSIGHT.  It’s FUNNY WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW WHAT WE REALLY DON’T.  THERE HAD BEEN DIRE WARNINGS OF A CORONA VIRUS TURNING INTO A WIDESPREAD PANDEMIC LONG BEFORE THIS CAME.  IN FACT, THERE WERE EVEN STOCKPILES AND A BUDGET ALIGNED THROUGH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FOR JUST THIS.  HOWEVER, WE WERE NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, PREPARED.  ON A PERSONAL NOTE, MOUNTING DEBT WAS TAKING HOLD OF MY FINANCES.  WE WERE OVER SPENT WITH NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THIS OVERHEAD.  I BEGAN TO REALLY WORRY.

MARCH-2020-I NOW HEAR OF VARIOUS METHODS TO TREAT JENNY’S CANCER.  THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT WAS TO REMOVE THE CANCER ITSELF.  APPARENTLY, WHEN THE EXPLORATORY SURGERY WAS UNDERWAY, THE CANCER HAD SPREAD TO HER LYMPH-NODES.  CHANGES WERE ALSO HAPPENING AT HOME.  I WAS ABOUT TO THROW IN THE TOWEL FOR DAILY WISDOM WORDS.  MY PARTNER, ALSO OUR INTERNET PERSON WHO HELPED DESIGN THE WEBSITE WAS BLEEDING ME DRY FINANCIALLY.  HE ALSO WAS BECOMING MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT TO GET ALONG WITH.  HE HAD HIS POINT OF VIEW AND I HAD MINE.  IT WAS NO LONGER “FUN” HAVING FOUNDED DAILY WISDOM WORDS.  I STAYED WITH A CONSTANT FEELING OF UNEASE ABOUT IT. PANDEMIC ISSUES WERE NOT PANDEMIC.  THE WHOLE WORLD WAS BEING AFFECTED BY A VIRUS WHICH ORIGINATED OUT OF CHINA.  APRIL-2020-THE VIRUS IS OUT OF CONTROL.  IN FACT, IT IS THE WORST IN THE UNITED STATES.  CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUT IT ARE OUT OF CONTROL.  Some THINK THE VIRUS IS MAN-MADE.   WE TAKE A RISK VISITING MY DAUGHTER IN IDAHO.  GRATEFUL BUT FEARFUL, THE PLANE LEAVES AN OPEN SEAT BETWEEN PASSENGERS TO CREATE WHAT THEY ARE CALLING “SOCIAL DISTANCING”.   MAY 2020-SADLY, THEY HAVE DONE WHAT THEY CAN WITH MY SISTER.  THEY  COULD TRY OTHER THINGS BUT HER WEIGHT IS SO LOW AND STRENGTH AS WELL, THEY ARE UNABLE TO.  THE PANDEMIC RAGES ON. 

JUNE-2020 WE FLY OUT TWICE TO SEE MY LITTLE SISTER.  IT IS SO SCARY HOW RAPIDLY SHE IS DECLINING.  WE STAY A FEW DAYS AND THEN GO HOME.  WE END UP BEING HOME A WEEK AND A HALF AND MY SISTER’S HUSBAND CALLS SAYING HE “FEELS” THIS COULD BE IT.  SHE IS ALMOST READY TO PASS.  ON JUNE 27TH, 2020 JENNY PASSES AWAY FROM ORAL CANCER.  THERE IS NO FUNERAL.  SHE HAD ASKED TO BE CREMATED.  WE LEAVE THE DAY AFTER SHE DIES.  MY NIECE SPENT THE NIGHT WITH ME, AND WE WENT TO A RESTARAUNT.  WE ARE UP EARLY AND FLY OFF BACK HOME THE NEXT DAY.  I SPEND THE REMAINDER OF THE MONTH IN A FULL ON DEPRESSION AND MORE GRIEF TALKING OF GOOD TIMES AND HER MOM.  THE PANDEMIC APPEARS TO BE UNDER CONTROL.  WE FEEL NOW WE HAVE TO WAIT IT OUT FOR A VACCINE.  IT WILL BE OVER WITH AND BEHIND US.   

JULY-2020 STAYED IN MOST OF THE TIME TO AVOID THE COVID-19.  MY SON MARRIES ON JULY 27TH-2020 TO A WONDERFUL WOMAN I ADORE NAMED COLLEEN, AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER.  INTERESTING WEDDING, BEAUTIFUL, AS IT IS CENTERED IN NATURE RIGHT BEFORE YOU GET TO ESTES PARK.  IT IS THE FIRST TIME ANY OF US HAVE REALLY SMILED THAT CARED SO MUCH SINCE JENNY’S DEATH.  IT IS GOOD TO SMILE. 

AUGUST-2020 LIFE CONTINUES TO CHANGE.  I FIND OUT MY DAUGHTER IS PREGNANT WITH THEIR SECOND CHILD.  WE  ALSO FIND OUT PREGNANCY HAPPENS IN SPADES TOO!  MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IS PREGNANT.  YES OH YES, HOW EXCITING!   

SEPTEMBER-2020-NOTHING MUCH HAPPENS.  VISIT MY MOM ONE DAY OF THAT MONTH.  DECIDE TO GET A JUMPSTART ON CHRISTMAS. 

OCTOBER-2020-MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR IS HERE.  WE HAVE A COOL OFF PERIOD.  WE SEEM TO HAVE ACCEPTED COVID-19 AS IF OUR WORLD WAS ALWAYS THIS WAY.  WE HEAR NEWS OF ONE OF THE COMPANIES WORKING ON “OPERATION WARP SPEED TO PRODUCE A VACCINE MAY HAVE IN FACT FOUND ONE. 

NOVEMBER-2020- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!  COLLEEN, STERLINGS WIFE, PLANS A BIRTHDAY DINNER AND HOMEMADE CAKE FOR ME.  WE GO TO IDAHO THE LAST WEEK IN OCTOBER TO SEE MY DAUGHTER WHO ALSO HAS A SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME.  GRAHAM, HER SON IS CUTER THAN EVER.  HE IS BEGINNING TO TALK.  THE FIRST SNOW COMES. 

DECEMBER-2020 CHRISTMAS IS HERE AND I AM VERY PREPARED.  I HAVE DONE ALL MY SHOPPING ONLINE.  WE DO NOT SEE MY BROTHER DUE TO COVID AND HIS TWO CHILDREN AS WE ALWAYS HAVE.  COVID IS WAY UP AGAIN.  MANY OF US DIE FROM IT DAILY.  WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS WITH GRAHAM, MY DAUGHTER, AND JEFF HER HUSBAND WHO TAKE A RISK AND FLY OUT.  YEAR IS OVER BUT NOT WITHOUT THE FINAL GREAT NEWS PHIZER HAS CREATED A VACCINE.  THE FDA DOES AN EMERGENCY APPROVAL.  END OF AN OVERALL AWEFUL YEAR BUT SOME HIGHLIGHTS.  THIS IS SUCH A GREAT YEAR TO SAY GOODBYE TO.  NOTHING BUT PAIN AND MISERY.  LOSING JENNY WEIGHS HEAVILY ON MY MIND.  

THANKS FOR READING MY 2020 DIARY.  THIS IS THE LAST I WILL MENTION IT.  WHY?  IT WAS A HORRID YEAR.  SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM JOIN NOW! MAKE A CHANGE!!

0 0 vote
Article Rating
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x