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Accepting is NOT defeat, it’s adding layers of intimacy with the universe or higher power and getting more acquainted with them.
-Kyle Higgins, Mental Health Counselor
Does acceptance of something that didn’t go your way a form of defeat?
This is something my counselor and I recently talked about in a grueling session. For new readers that may not know, I have clinical depression and have been seeing a counselor years.
“Have a good cry, wash out your heart. If you keep it inside it’ll tear you apart.”
-Sometimes You Win (1979) by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show
Sometimes it’s discouraged, sometimes you’re pushed to let it out. But if you’re a male who grew up in the twentieth century, you were most likely told not to do it, especially in public.
I’m talking about crying.
How does conversion or reparative therapy work?
Conversion therapy is usually used when a family is part of a religious organization that does not accept a teenager or child’s sexual preference he or she identifies with. To be attracted to same-sex individuals is a violation of the religious beliefs of the parents enforced by their church or religious organization for a teen to be homosexual. I think it is important to note that the “American Psychiatric Association” opposes any psychiatric treatment used in an attempt to change an underaged individuals sexual orientation”. Religious organizations who do not accept homosexuality uses questionable practices that treat homosexuality as a mental disorder. Practitioners who work to change sexual orientation through therapy to be unethical. Now there are federal laws in place making it illegal to use some of the methods to change a child’s sexual orientation. In the past, the United States and Western Europe have allowed these practitioners to use “ice-pick lobotomies, chemical castrations, and hormonal therapies. In the past, there were no laws preventing these kind of practices which also includes electroshock therapy to the hands and genitals. A term coined as masturbatory reconditioning has also been used in many programs religious organizations such as fundamentalist Christian groups. To date, none of these therapies are shown to be in any way, effective in changing a person’s sexuality. In 2018, the European parliament banned conversion therapy practices in a majority vote of 435 to 109 for banning this kind of therapy and urged European Union members to pass the same law preventing this kind of therapy. There are many other countries who are without laws including the United Kingdom to outlaw conversion therapy.
As mentioned above, 22 states in the United States of America still have NO laws stopping or outlawing conversion therapy. You might find it interesting to know the past history of conversion therapy which started by Sigmund Freud who claimed he could change one’s sexuality to be “normal” through psychoanalysis. The first edition of the Psychological manual created in 1952 by the diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatry, (DSM-1) considered homosexuality to be a mental disorder. In 1987, the DSM-3 was published removing homosexuality as a “mental disorder”.
Research shows today according to the American Psychiatric Association that reparative therapy is ineffective in changing one’s sexuality. Medical treatments are also shown to be ineffective in a study done in 2016. There is more and more repulsion of the practices medically and psychologically from leading medical experts and psychological efforts to change one’s sexual identity. This became more public when a Jewish organization based in New Jersey, (JONAH), used practices called “unconscionable”. Despite this, Conversion therapy continues to practiced today which often includes methods to change an individuals seuality in ways mentioned above.
In my opinion, parents, should not be parents if they are presented with the sexual orientation of their child, and they cannot accept their own child as he/she is. I do not believe they should be parents if they cannot accept the characteristics of their child’s sexuality. They are forgetting the child already struggles with societies opinion of themselves. Being a parent means accepting our child as they are despite our personal beliefs, especially with current research clearly stating these kinds of therapies are ineffective. We must not forget as parents we have the blessing of this individual being our child, and we need to as the very least, accept our children as they are and love them because of this difference, not in spite of their differences no matter what these differences are provided it does not physically or psychologically cause harm to others.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”
-Maya Angelou
If you’re a writer, you know this feeling inside out. You open up your laptop ready to write up a storm. Two hours later, your page is still blank. You have writer’s block.
“Worrying is thinking negative thoughts about things that are outside of your control.”
-Mel Robbin
The title of today’s post may seem oxymoronic or counterintuitive. Worrying by definition is a negative trait so how can it be optimistic?
Let me elaborate.
No”The best place in the world is inside a hug.”
-J Quest
Have you received a hug lately? Or gave one? If not, you’re missing out on not only warm and friendly vibes but also a genuine, health benefit.
DIVERSIONS
by Samantha LeBoeuf
Our Daily Wisdom Word today is “diversions”. Before going any further, I am going to give the Webster Dictionary meaning and daily wisdom words meaning.
The Webster meaning of Diversion-1. An instance of turning aside something from its course. 2. An activity that diverts the mind from tedious or serious concerns. (partial).
Daily Wisdom Word Meaning of Diversion: The habit we develop that can sometimes distract us from the course we need to stay on.
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of deep thought, and hear a noise? You realize all you are hearing is the wind outside. You try to go back to that deep thought process and can’t seem to return. You have just been subject to a diversion.
Once your mind is distracted by a diversion, it is difficult to remember the very last thought you had prior to hearing the outside noise.
Often times this happens to me, when I lose my train of thought. Is it the distraction that causes my mind to lose my train of thought? Most likely, but more likely to be a distraction because you were not in a deep enough thought state.
This is why many of us meditate, so we can learn to relax naturally.
Meditation is a form of disciplining our minds and ability to stay on one thought, following it through. Had you been in deep enough thought the wind would not have been a diversion from your thoughts. We must learn to be vigilant with our thoughts and stick to the thought process we are in, especially if it leading somewhere helping you solve a problem.
Diversions can literally be a roadblock. It can also be a word we use to describe our mental state being easily distracted. It is hard to stay focused on a similar thought process without getting distracted if we have an overactive mind.
This is why in order to avoid diversions, you must become vigilant when you get distracted in returning to the same line of thought leading you to some of the best ideas and solutions your own mind can create.
In order to be vigilant with our thought process, one tool we can use to be focused is journaling. With meditation and journaling and much patience, the brilliant thoughts you were having will be part of training your mind to be strong. It also helps with depression and sadness.
When we are aware of a particular thought process we can stop, or start it depending if we wish to be vigilant with those thoughts or steer ourselves into a whole new line of thinking if dwelling on something is past the point it should be. Knowing yourself and your thoughts are two of the most powerful things you can have as tools to be a writer looking at a specific thought process and carrying those thoughts through on paper avoiding writer’s block all together over time.
What does diversion mean to you? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below.
Thanks so much for reading today, Samantha
“Being sick is just your body’s way of saying you’re too awesome, and you need to slow down, so everyone can catch up.”
-Unknown
Being sick sucks, right? It can put you in a depressing mood and everything, be it eating, talking or simply getting out of bed seems like a chore.
But what if I said that there are certain benefits of becoming sick?
“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.”
-Bernard Baruch
This is something I’ve done before a few times and still feel it’s never enough. I’m talking about listening.
Yes, I’ve posted and reposted this article a few times. And I continue doing so periodically because I feel it’s crucial in building a relationship with all of you members and readers. And hence, here is that article to give YOU, the reader, your time under the spotlight:
“If someone seriously wants to be a part of your life, they will seriously make an effort to be in it.”
-Unknown
If you’re read my previous articles on this site, you’ll notice that one thing I always stress on is never giving up on anything that’s a passion and close to your heart no matter how many obstacles come in your way. But are there exceptions to that philosophy? Are there instances when giving up will actually be advantageous?
“The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.”
-Joseph Campbell
What’s the meaning and/or of life?
Looking for such answers is a quest that everyone goes through at some point.
And while it’s normal to wonder about it, I’ve always felt that in many ways it’s a quest with no real answer because life is a different journey for everyone.
What the final destination is for one person is different from another.
To someone who’s dreamed of being an astronaut, their sole purpose would be to find themselves inside a rocket in space. One who aspires to be a lawyer or a police officer dreams of ridding corruption and crime from society.
In that case, it’s best to look at it from this point of view: life is ultimately what we make it.
Sure certain circumstances are unavoidable, but the every decision we make that’s in our control has an impact one way or the other.
Every person walking this planet has some purpose to fulfill. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be here. But what exactly that is a journey of finding out. The only ones who know for sure are the divine forces.
But for us humans, finding that purpose is one long journey. Sure, we can predict certain destinations in the short run. If I do the laundry, I’ll have clean clothes to wear. If I pay my bills on time, I won’t be in debt.
But in the long run? None of us can really say. All we can go by is going about what we hope is our destination with sincerity and hope.
Rather than wonder what’s the meaning of life, we should ask ourselves what are the steps we should take to reach a destination we ourselves create. Maybe we’ll get there, maybe we won’t. But create the path and follow it.
So what’s the meaning of life? In my opinion, whatever you aspire to be or do at this very moment.
Do you often think about the meaning or purpose in life? If so, what does that mean to you? How do you feel and react when things don’t go the way you planned? How often do your goals change? Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below on our secure servers.
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“The best revenge is massive success.”
-Frank Sinatra
Is taking revenge or even a desire to do so ultimately bad for the soul?
“Procrastination is the thief of time.”
-Edward Young
You do it. I do it. We all do it at some point in our lives. Some may do it more than others. But the devil called procrastination has visited all of us at least once and usually, multiple times through various trials and tribulations.
How do we combat it?
Surrender is the bravest and most lucid thing a human ever does and that’s why it’s so precious to the Divine.
-Andrew Harvey
Does God hate me?
I used to think this quite often when I was younger and didn’t get my way. When I talk about not getting my way, I’m not implying desires like wanting a million dollars or a wanting a mansion.
OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS SUPPORT. WHEN WE GIVE SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGE OTHERS THROUGH POSITIVITY WE ARE WORKING ON GOD’S BEHALF. I DON’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS BUT DO KNOW THAT WE, AS WRITERS AND LEADERS WAS CALLED UPON TO SET THE STAGE. SUPPORT IS VERY IMPORTANT FROM OTHERS. IT IS IMPORTANT TO OURSELVES. WE ARE AN INDIVIDUAL’S FOR A REASON.
WE MUST BE STABLE, STANDING ON OUR OWN TWO FEET BEFORE OTHERS CAN BE LEANED ON. WHEN WE NEED SUPPORT, IT IS IMPORTANT TO COMMUNICATE THIS TO OUR LOVED ONES. IT IS OKAY TO NEED OTHERS, WHAT HAPPENS IF WE HAVE AN ISSUE THAT WE SIMPLY CAN’T HANDLE? WE NEED TO ACCEPT THE FACT THERE ARE TIMES WE WILL NEED ANOTHER PERSON TO LEAN ON. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DON’T HAVE A GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM?
WE USUALLY ISOLATE AND BECOME DEPRESSED. SOMETIMES, IT IS SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT IF OR WHEN WE NEED SUPPORT. THE SUPPORT CAN BE NECESSARY EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY. I FEEL LOST AT TIMES IN MY LIFE. BEING PERMANENTLY DISABLED IS DIFFICULT. WE STOP CARING ABOUT THE THINGS WE USED TO ENJOY. OUR CHILDREN GROW UP AND LEAVE TO FORM THEIR OWN FAMILIES. THERE OFTEN ARE OTHERS THAT WE CAN REACH OUT TO. BUT DO NOT.
IT MAY FEEL LIKE OUR WORLD IS FALLING APART. HOW DO WE HANDLE THIS? WE REACH OUT FOR HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL. THEY CANNOT FIX US. WE MUST “FIX OURSELVES”. WHAT A PROFESSIONAL CAN DO IS PROVIDE CLARITY AND DIRECTION, TEACHING YOU WAYS TO CALM DOWN IF, FOR EXAMPLE YOU SUFFER WITH ANXIETY. BECAUSE COUNSELORS AND MANY PSYCHOLOGISTS ARE NOT DOCTN AREAS WE MAYORS AND NOT ABLE TO PRESCRIBE ANTIDEPRESSANTS, OR ANTI-ANXIETY MEDICATION, THEY DO HAVE THE ABILITY TO KNOW IF YOU NEED MEDICATION AS PART OF AN OVERALL TREATMENT PLAN. THEY ALSO CAN PROVIDE EMDR TREATMENT FOR TRAUMA AND NARRATIVE PSYCHOLOGY TO HELP THOSE ISSUES SURFACE SO TOGETHER, YOU CAN DEAL WITH YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES THIS REQUIRES DILIGENCE ON YOUR PART TO GET SUPPORT WHEN IT IS NEEDED. SOMETIMES, TALKING WITH A FRIEND, JUST ISN’T ENOUGH.
THEY CAN’T FIX ISSUES, BUT TEACH US TO COPE WITH THEM. COGNITIVE THERAPY, ER THERE ARE TIMES WE MAY NEED SOMEONE TO ADDRESS WITH US WHAT THEY SEE OBJECTIVELY WITHIN US. WE MAY BE IN DENIAL AND SADLY, THIS IS THE VERY TIME WE NEED SUPPORT. WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF SUPPORT IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND THE DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF SUPPORT?
WEBSTER DEFINITION FOR SUPPORT-1. GIVE ASSISTANCE TO, ESPECIALLY FINANCIALLY, ENABLE TO FUNCTION OR ACT. 2. GIVE APPROVAL, COMFORT OR ENCOURAGEMENT TO. (PARTIAL).
DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF SUPPORT-A PLATFORM OF INDIVIDUALS INCLUDING MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS AND LOVED ONES WHO HELP YOU IN TIMES OF NEED.
SUPPORT FROM OTHERS IS NOTHING TO FEEL ASHAMED OF WHEN YOU NEED HELP. THEY WOULD RATHER HELP YOU THAN SEE YOU COPE WITH YOUR ISSUE ALONE. THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO PROVIDE SUPPORT. SUPPORT CAN BE GIVEN LOVINGLY, EMOTIONALLY, AND EVEN PHYSICAL HELP QUALIFIES IN AREAS WE NEED SUPPORT. IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO REACH OUT WHEN WE NEED TO WITH OTHERS. THANKS FOR READING, SAMANTHA
other dailywisdomwords.com posts relevant to this: http://dailywisdomwords.com/daily-wisdom-words/encouragement/
“Your flaws are perfect for the heart that is meant to love you.”
-Unknown
I’m flawed. You’re flawed. We’re all flawed and that’s okay. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be human beings. Being flawed is an inevitable trait since the dawn of time and will be there until all life has perished.
So why do we not proclaim it as loudly as we do our talents and skills?
“It is hard to fail but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
Everyone wants to be happy, right?
You’re constantly wishing and/or praying that whatever problems you have in life go away, right? And yet, there’s a feeling, an emotion, that what if you achieve what you want and you fail at maintaining or preserving it?
OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS ATTACHMENT. THIS POST FOCUSES ON MATERNAL BONDING BETWEEN CHILD AND CAREGIVER AND THE OUTCOMES OF IMPROPERLY BONDING OR ATTACHING TO A CAREGIVER. ATTACHMENT DISORDER IS THE OUTCOME OF UNHEALTHY BONDING AS A BABY WITH A CAREGIVER. BONDING AND ATTACHMENT ARE CRUCIAL AND NECESSARY FOR ALL SPECIES. HUMAN BEINGS, ESPECIALLY BABIES NEED ATTACHMENT. BEFORE GOING ANY FURTHER, TAKE A LOOK AT THE MEANING OF ATTACHMENT THAT APPLIES IN THE WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION.
WEBSTER DEFINITION OF ATTACHMENT-(PARTIAL) AN EXPERIENCE, FEELING OR EMOTION SHARED WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, PARTICULARLY A CAREGIVER.
DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF ATTACHMENT-A RELATIONSHIP THAT HAPPENS BETWEEN A MOTHER, OR FATHER AND THEIR CHILD. 2. A RELATIONSHIP OF CONNECTION THAT OCCURS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WITH EMOTIONS, LOVE ABLE TO ALSO BE INDEPENDENT OF ONE ANOTHER.
ATTACHMENT IS NECESSARY, BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT BOND OF ALL IS THE ATTACHMENT WHICH EXISTS BETWEEN MOTHER AND BABY. INFANTS BEGIN BONDING AND ATTACHING IN THE WOMB BEFORE BIRTH . THIS IS ESPECIALLY STRONG WHEN OXYTOCIN IS PRODUCED. (BREAST FEEDING BABIES). THERE ARE MANY OTHER WAYS FOR THE CHILD TO ATTACH EMOTIONALLY, ESPECIALLY IN OUR FORMATIVE YEARS. OUR FORMATIVE YEARS START FROM BIRTH TO THREE YEARS OLD, AND CONTINUE FROM 3 TO 6 YEARS OLD.
CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY BABIES INTERACT WITH THEIR CAREGIVER OR MOTHER BY CRYING. CRYING IS ONE OF THE ONLY WAYS A VERY YOUNG BABY HAS TO ATTACHES BONDING W THEIR CAREGIVER. IF CRYING IS IGNORED BY A MOTHER OR FATHER FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME, THIS CAN BE THE BEGINNING OF WHAT LATER IS KNOWN AS ATTACHMENT DISORDER. ATTACHMENT DISORDER HAPPENS WHEN BONDING DID NOT OCCUR PROPERLY WHEN A CHILD WAS AT HIS OR HER YOUNGEST AGE, BABYHOOD.
WHEN A LACK OF MATERNAL BONDING PLAYS ITSELF OUT FOR AN ADULT, ONE SUFFERS WITH ATTACHMENT DISORDER. ATTACHMENT DISORDER WAS DISCOVERED AND LABELED IN 2014. IT IS SEEN IN ADULTS WHO DID NOT BOND APPROPRIATELY WITH THEIR CAREGIVERS AND IS PLAYED OUT IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. ATTACHMENT DISORDER IS BEST DESCRIBED BY THE FOLLOWING EXAMPLES:
EXAMPLE A- KATIE DID NOT BOND OR ATTACH WITH HER MOTHER PROPERLY AND HER NEEDS WERE IGNORED. SHE ENTERS INTO A SERIES OF BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS THAT PLAY OUT WITH HER BEING DESPERATELY CLINGY AND INSECURE.
EXAMPLE B. SALLY IS NOT ABLE TO SHOW AFFECTION PROPERLY TO HER LOVED ONES AND DOESN’T ALLOW HERSELF TO GET TOO CLOSE IN HER RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE WHEN SHE HAS DONE THIS, IT CAUSES HER TO RUN HOT OR COLD IN SHOWING EMOTION TO HER PARTNER. THIS IS ALSO KNOWN AS REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER. SALLY HAS A HARD TIME SHOWING ANY EMOTION AND INTERACTION WITH SOMEONE SHE LOVES. THIS AFFECTS HER WHEN THERE IN HER ABILITY TO MAKE EYE CONTACT. CONNECTION EQUALS PAIN. THEREFORE IT IS SO HARD FOR SALLY TO CONNECT AND BOND WITH ANY PARTNER.
SPECIFIC SIGNS OF ATTACHMENT DISORDER INCLUDE FEELING EMPTY INSIDE, FEELINGS OF WORTHLESSNESS, FEELING JOYLESS, APPEARING LISTLESS, COGNITIVE AND LANGUAGE DELAYS IN CHILDHOOD, IN CAPACITY TO DISPLAY EMOTIONS IN A HEALTHY, LOVING WAY CAUSING ONE TO SELF COMFORT THROUGH ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, STROKING ONE’S ARM AND OTHER SELF COMFORTING MEASURES.
ULTIMATELY, ATTACHMENT DISORDER, OR A CHILD TO ATTACHING PROPERLY, RESULTS IN ONE’S OWN INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE THEIR NEEDS, SHOW EMOTION, CONTROL ANGER WHICH IS DISPROPORTIONATE TO A SITUATION, AVERSION TO HUMAN TOUCH AND APPEARING COLD OR UNEMOTIONAL.
ATTACHMENT IS NECESSARY IN ALL MANKIND, AND A PERSON WHO SUFFERS FROM A LACK OF ATTACHMENT AND BONDING WITH THEIR CAREGIVER HAS DIFFICULTY FORMING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS. FORTUNATELY, MOST CHILDREN SEEM TO OVERCOME ISSUES OF ATTACHMENT AND ONLY 10% OF CHILDREN WHO ARE EMOTIONALLY ABUSED END UP SUFFERING WITH ATTACHMENT DISORDER. THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING TODAY. T
THIS IS A WIDELY UNTOUCHED AND UNKNOWN PROBLEM TO MANY MAKING RESEARCH FOR IT RARE.
SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/DAILY WISDOM WORDS
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“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”
-Paulo Cohelo
When is it good to be selfish?
Caring for and assisting others is no doubt, an admirable quality. Without that aspect of humanity, the world would never move forward.
For every obstacle you’ve ever faced, you’re still here.
-Anonymous
This is it. The end of the road so to speak. There’s no way out. You’re doomed forever.
Do the sentences above sound familiar?
