Death

FINALITY

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OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “FINALITY”.  THERE ARE THINGS WE EXPERIENCE IN A LIFETIME THAT WE CAN’T CONTROL.  WE DON’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE, FOR EXAMPLE.  WE CAN SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THEM BUT ULTIMATELY, IT IS THEIR CHOICE TO DECIDE IF THEY FOLLOW THAT EXAMPLE.  WE CAN GIVE ADVICE, BUT ULTIMATELY THE DECISION MADE IS IN THAT PERSON’S HANDS.  WHAT WE DO HOLD CONTROL OVER IS OUR OWN CHOICES.  WE WILL HAVE NEGATIVITY TO DEAL WITH DURING LIFE, AS WELL AS PAIN. 

WE CAN CHOOSE TO FEEL THE PAIN, AND LOOK FOR THE GOOD FOUND WITH ANOTHER BUT WE CANNOT BE FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOMES OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS.  WHETHER IT IS OUR CHILDREN, OUR FRIENDSHIPS OR EVEN OUR FUTURE, WE CAN GUIDE WHAT WHAT WE WANT TO HAPPEN, AND STILL HAVE UNEXPECTED TURBULENCE FROM OUTSIDE EVENTS WE SIMPLY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. 

LIFE IS SHORT.  ONE OF THE EXPERIENCES WE MUST FACE IS FINALLY ACCEPTING FINALITY WHEN OTHERS ARE INVOLVED OR THEY DECIDE TO EXIT OUR LIFE.  SOMETIMES IT MUST BE US THAT ACCEPTS FINALITY.  IF A RELATIONSHIP CAUSES US PAIN AND IS UNHEALTHY, OR SOMEHOW IS HURTING US MORE THAN HELPING US IT MAY BE TIME TO ACCEPT THE FINALITY OF A SITUATION.  IT HURTS IN LIFE WHEN WE LOSE PEOPLE WE LOVE WHETHER IT BE BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO GO, OR GOD CALLS THEM HOME.   WE DEAL WITH A SERIES OF STAGES TO GO THROUGH ANY HEALING PROCESS.  FIRST, WE ARE IN DENIAL.  NEXT COMES ANGER.  AFTER THIS, WE FEEL IMMENSE SADNESS, AND FINALLY WE ACCEPT WHAT IS OR THE LOSS OF SOMEONE WE LOVE FROM OUR LIFE. 

WHAT WE MUST DO, IS  LET GO OF THE ANGER STAGE.  WE FEEL ANGER AND THIS HELPS GIVE US STRENGTH, OR SO WE THINK, BUT ULTIMATELY IT STOPS US FROM GETTING TO THE NEXT STAGE WE NEED TO DEAL WITH TO GET TO FINALITY OR ACCEPTANCE. ANGER OVER TIME, HURTS US MORE ANYTHING.  ANGER IS LIKE A VIRUS SPREADING IN THE BODY. ANGER CAN EAT AWAY OUR LOVE FOR OTHERS INDIRECTLY CAUSING US DAMAGE IN THE RELATIONSHIPS WE STILL HAVE IN OUR LIFE.  WE  OFTEN FEEL IT IS EASIER TO STAY IN THIS STAGE TO AVOID FEELING THE NEXT STAGE WHICH IS HURT, SADNESS AND PAIN.  THIS IS WHY IT IS HARD TO GET PAST ANGER AND MOVE ON LEARNING TO COPE WITH THE SADNESS OF LOSS OF ANY KIND. 

ONCE WE REALIZE AND FEEL THIS LOSS, IT ALLOWS US TO MOVE ON TO THE FINAL STAGE, ACCEPTANCE.  WHEN WE ACCEPT THE LOSS, WE THEN BEGIN TO HEAL.  YES, THE PAIN AND MISSING THEM WILL HURT STILL, BUT THE TIMES WE SHARED AND THE LESSONS LEARNED WE LEARN TO FOCUS ON.  WE REMAIN ULTIMATELY AT A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE AND FINALITY. FINALITY CAN BE HARD WITH ANYTHING. 

SOMETIMES WE FEEL RELIEF WITH FINALITY, BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WE FEEL THE LOSS.  I WISH THIS WERE MORE ABOUT SOLUTIONS BUT WE MUST EXPERIENCE ANGER TO GET TO SADNESS, AND THEN ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO.  FINALITY WITH ANYTHING WHICH BROUGHT US HAPPINESS, HOWEVER LITTLE IT MAY HAVE BEEN, IS HARD TO ACCEPT, BUT IT IS IN ACCEPTANCE WE WILL BEGIN TO HEAL.  DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP YOU KNOW HAS REACHED ITS EXPIRATION DATE?  DO YOU FIND YOURSELF FULL OF ANGER AND SOMETIMES EVEN RAGE?  LIFE ISN’T FAIR AND SOMETIMES WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY WHEN A RELATIONSHIP ENDS OR TO BE HEALTHY, WE MUST LET GO OF IT. HOW DO WE HEAL?  LOVE FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL IN OUR LIFE BECOMES ABUNDANT LIKE A VACCINE OF SORTS JUST AS HATRED IS A VIRUS.  LOVE GROWS AND FILLS OUR HEART WITH JOY INSTEAD OF OUR HEAD IN ANGER AND HATE.  PART OF LIFE JUST LIKE A BEGINNING IS AN END.  FINALITY CAN BE WHAT IS NECESSARY TO DRAW HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR OURSELVES EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY.  THIS MAY MEAN LOSS, BUT IT ALSO MEANS FREEING UP SPACE WASTED IN TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS AND THEIR ACTIONS.  DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS?  DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE BEST WAY TO COPE WITH A PARTICULAR SITUATION ENDING?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW OR A QUESTION AND YOU WILL GET A RESPONSE.  I RESPOND TO MY QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS, EVEN IF IT TAKES A FEW DAYS.  THANKS FOR READING…IF YOU HAVE HELPFUL ADVICE, LEAVE IT IN THE “JOIN THE DISCUSSION” AREA BELOW THIS POST.  THANK YOU, SAMANTHA

 

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TEARS “Why we have tears when we cry”

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When we see someone cry, and their tears falling, we feel bad for them.  Our first instinct is to comfort them.  What we don’t realize is often they need to cry and their tears cleanse the soul.  When I cry, of course I feel sad, but never did I realize that to cry is part of a healing process.  I lost someone so dear to me, my sister.  I watched my nieces, her children hurt and cry. 

Her youngest daughter Luma is 22, and someone who I have always been close with.  There is something about Luma that makes her special.  She illuminates a light with whoever she is around.  When she feels someone else is hurting, she is the first one to offer a comforting shoulder.  Her mother was an angel.  I know we often hear this from loved ones but in all reality, she really was.  She gave so much to those she loved and touched many lives. 

Luma and I have always held a special bond.  Luma has class.  She doesn’t believe it, but I see it.  She also took her mother’s death so hard.  For many months, I hardly heard from her.  She even wondered if I did not have the best of intentions for her.  I always have, and I always will.  Although I could not see her as she lived in another state, I felt her anger.  If she had been thinking clearly, she would have known I would never have any malice or anything but love for her and would only think of her best interest.  It took many months, and a move to Mexico, for her to be able to cry. 

I have her visiting now, and we share tears together.  She is amazing and such a loving person.  For anyone who has this kind of illuminating  light, there sometimes is darkness too.  When she is hurting and depressed she ia a lot like me.  She wants to be alone or escape the pain.  She is very strong but part of grieving is sadness and tears. The definition of tears in our Webster Dictionary are-1.   The state or action of crying.  a drop of salty liquid secreted from ones glands when their eyes are irritated.  Daily Wisdom Word Definition of Tears-a way for the human body to express sadness and cleanse the soul by crying.  Crying can be a very good thing.  When we grieve, we need to cry.  We can’t hide from grief. 

What we can do is bury it and this will eventually catch up to us in some way.  for those things we don’t cope with, we develop fear from.  Fear is part of burying emotions that one doesn’t process.  Anger is another way that we express buried grief. Allow yourself to cry when you feel sad.  Sometimes it takes a good, healthy cry to cleanse our soul. Often times, by crying, we release the pent up emotion.  Everything we experience in life, we must deal with.  Crying is good for the soul and the tears that fall, cleanse our soul.  My niece is now back with me.  She of course has moments and days of sadness but she allows herself to cry. 

She is Il-LUMA-nation and light.  I love her like my own child and I feel honored to be in her life again.  It is what my sister would have wanted.  Thank you for reading….Samantha/Founder, Daily

 

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DEATH HOW DO LOVED ONES COPE LEFT BEHIND?

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DEATH MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS TO DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS.  THERE ARE FEW WORDS THAT I HAVE EVER DEBATED WRITING ON, BUT DEATH WOULD BE ONE OF THEM.  I will start off with an acronym for death- (D)arkness (E)ternal  (A)fter  (T))ime  (H)alts.  This seems grim but I believe there is another step to this which allows us that allows our soul to be taken to Heaven and we return home to our maker.  My acronym for death is for the few minutes we share with the physical entity of one soul who is now headed home.  I think the hardest part about death is Why?  “Why did this person have to go?” 

It is hard for me to believe that the above analogy is it for us.  How did we get here?  Someone could explain science to me all day long, and never shake my feeling of the beauty of birth and the sadness shared in watching someone die.  I lost my sister at the end of June this past year.  It has had a grave effect on the lives left behind including mine.  Hope seems dim where it once was light inside me.  I. find myself sad a lot.  I had a naive belief that I would just heal and get past this, but Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to share with you if you have lost someone close to you yet, you will understand my feelings better.  Sometimes Jenny’s death does not seem real.  I look at all the results her love she had in great abundance is not simple at all.  She left “ripples” in other’s lives which at the moment feel like huge holes. 

She left behind so many including me who loved her so.   I feel like it’s okay to be so sad about her loss as long as I am careful not to share it with others even closer to her.  She fed love to others through her music.  She made love happen in a family unit she created.  She was powerful and had the ability to change someone’s life for the better.  Not only could she be trusted, but she was also so passionate in all she said.  I doubt a “fake” word ever came out of her mouth.  She had amazing self-control.  She could hold out from doing the wrong thing for the overall good.  She was truly powerful.  “As they say, we get back two-fold what we give.  Jenny created spades. 

She was a lover of mermaids and the ocean and she was truly fierce.  Why Lord did I not see this so clearly while she was here?  I should have told her more often just how proud I was and how thankful I was to have her as my sister.  Her husband she married, was truly the love of her life.  These were her words, not mine.  How do we get used to speaking of her in the past tense?  When will the “is” become “was”, naturally?  The thing that happens when these individuals die, is what is called “the rippling effect”.  Our family life and her friends and husband will forever be changed from their interactions and moments shared with her.  She wasn’t afraid to live LIFE. She took the kind of chances that were known as high risk, high reward.  She had the bravery to do so while I played it safe. 

Her daughters (my nieces) are so beautiful and in each of them, you see some of her.  She made the time for what she needed to.  She made loyal and true friends and many of them.  I am lucky to find a few.  Family to her was her friends as her extended family.  Her actions told her story.  Her smile, so strained this past year from pain, lit up a room and her laugh made others do the same.  They say we idealize those who die.  Every word I have written here is the truth.  Today, call someone who lives out of state that is part of your family how much you “love them”.  I was even there when Jenny passed away, her beautiful blue eyes so full of life, slowly moved forward to another place.  I call it heaven and I believe she had an “all-access” pass to it.  

Samantha Leboeuf

 

 

 

HE’S ALIVE BY DOLLY PARTON

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Today we all celebrate Easter, the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. We certainly will not be left out in the celebration of His resurrection. Today, I read the bible- not because it is Easter- but because it’s been a while since i read the Holy Bible. So, I came across Luke 24:6-7.

WHY IT DID NOT WORK

6 He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 7 ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ”

My emphasis is on the first sentence. If He is not here, then, where is He? That’s a rhetorical question we must be able to answer if we must celebrate Easter. At this moment I write on Daily Wisdom Words Music Prompt to inform you that Jesus is in you. Let Him show you where He resides.

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Gen 1:27

This is Daily Wisdom Words Music Prompt. My name is Abuh Monday Eneojo.  I will be your humble host. Join the Music prompt by;

  • Listening to the song below

  • Composing a poem inspired by song
  • Using #dailywisdomwords
  • Sharing with us

DEATH & THE AFTERMATH

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“Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
-Mitch Albom

In previous posts, I have talked about dealing with deaths of loved ones. To summarize those posts, I had written about how to keep loving the person that’s gone. I would like to expand on that thought a litte more today.

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2020 “SAYING GOODBYE TO 2020”

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2020- WHAT A YEAR THIS HAS BEEN FOR ALL OF US.  I CAN SIMPLY DO A MONTH TO MONTH ANALYSIS, AND NONE OF IT IS HAPPY.  WHEN I LOOK AT JANUARY, 2020, I REMEMBER THE PANDEMIC FINALLY FINDING ITS WAY IN THE NEWS.  HONESTLY, UP UNTIL THIS POINT, OTHER THAN A BRIEF SMALL PRINT ARTICLE I SAW ONLINE, I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS.  YES, OF COURSE, I HAVE WATCHED SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES, BUT OTHER THAN THAT, NEVER THOUGHT SERIOUSLY ABOUT A PANDEMIC. 

FEBRUARY-2020-I AM NOW TRACING BACK TO MEMORIES IN 2020 FOR FEBRUARY.  WE VISITED MY DAUGHTER TOWARDS THE END OF THE MONTH IN BOISE, IDAHO.  TRAVEL RESTRICTIONS AND NEW SEATING ARRANGEMENTS ON AIRCRAFT WERE BEGINNING TO TAKE PLACE.  STILL, OTHER THAN NIGGLING WORRY, I WAS NOT TOO CONCERNED AT THIS POINT.  MY FOCUS AT THIS TIME WAS ON MY LITTLE SISTER, JENNY.  HER MEDICAL REPORTS WERE NOT GOOD.   MY MOTHER FLEW TO CALIFORNIA ABOUT THIS TIME TO SEE HER.  SHE HAD LOST A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF WEIGHT.  I WAS STILL IN A BIT OF DENIAL ABOUT THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE SITUATION.  JENNY, NOT ONE TO COMPLAIN DIDN’T TELL ME DUE TO THE PAIN WITH HER MOUTH AND SORE ON HER TONGUE THAT WAS ABOUT TO BE REMOVED, SHE COULDN’T EAT DUE TO THE PAIN.  I ALSO WAS NOT INFORMED THAT INITIALLY, WHEN THE HER CANCER WAS DIAGNOSED, IT WAS BETWEEN A STAGE THREE AND FOUR.  THIS IN ITSELF WOULD HAVE BEEN TERRIFYING FOR ME.  NOT ONLY WERE THERE ESCALATIONS IN HER DECLINE, BUT THERE WERE ESCALATIONS IN NUMBERS OF PEOPLE LIVING WITH COVID-19 AND THEN DYING.  NO CURE WAS INSIGHT.  It’s FUNNY WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW WHAT WE REALLY DON’T.  THERE HAD BEEN DIRE WARNINGS OF A CORONA VIRUS TURNING INTO A WIDESPREAD PANDEMIC LONG BEFORE THIS CAME.  IN FACT, THERE WERE EVEN STOCKPILES AND A BUDGET ALIGNED THROUGH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FOR JUST THIS.  HOWEVER, WE WERE NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, PREPARED.  ON A PERSONAL NOTE, MOUNTING DEBT WAS TAKING HOLD OF MY FINANCES.  WE WERE OVER SPENT WITH NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THIS OVERHEAD.  I BEGAN TO REALLY WORRY.

MARCH-2020-I NOW HEAR OF VARIOUS METHODS TO TREAT JENNY’S CANCER.  THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT WAS TO REMOVE THE CANCER ITSELF.  APPARENTLY, WHEN THE EXPLORATORY SURGERY WAS UNDERWAY, THE CANCER HAD SPREAD TO HER LYMPH-NODES.  CHANGES WERE ALSO HAPPENING AT HOME.  I WAS ABOUT TO THROW IN THE TOWEL FOR DAILY WISDOM WORDS.  MY PARTNER, ALSO OUR INTERNET PERSON WHO HELPED DESIGN THE WEBSITE WAS BLEEDING ME DRY FINANCIALLY.  HE ALSO WAS BECOMING MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT TO GET ALONG WITH.  HE HAD HIS POINT OF VIEW AND I HAD MINE.  IT WAS NO LONGER “FUN” HAVING FOUNDED DAILY WISDOM WORDS.  I STAYED WITH A CONSTANT FEELING OF UNEASE ABOUT IT. PANDEMIC ISSUES WERE NOT PANDEMIC.  THE WHOLE WORLD WAS BEING AFFECTED BY A VIRUS WHICH ORIGINATED OUT OF CHINA.  APRIL-2020-THE VIRUS IS OUT OF CONTROL.  IN FACT, IT IS THE WORST IN THE UNITED STATES.  CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUT IT ARE OUT OF CONTROL.  Some THINK THE VIRUS IS MAN-MADE.   WE TAKE A RISK VISITING MY DAUGHTER IN IDAHO.  GRATEFUL BUT FEARFUL, THE PLANE LEAVES AN OPEN SEAT BETWEEN PASSENGERS TO CREATE WHAT THEY ARE CALLING “SOCIAL DISTANCING”.   MAY 2020-SADLY, THEY HAVE DONE WHAT THEY CAN WITH MY SISTER.  THEY  COULD TRY OTHER THINGS BUT HER WEIGHT IS SO LOW AND STRENGTH AS WELL, THEY ARE UNABLE TO.  THE PANDEMIC RAGES ON. 

JUNE-2020 WE FLY OUT TWICE TO SEE MY LITTLE SISTER.  IT IS SO SCARY HOW RAPIDLY SHE IS DECLINING.  WE STAY A FEW DAYS AND THEN GO HOME.  WE END UP BEING HOME A WEEK AND A HALF AND MY SISTER’S HUSBAND CALLS SAYING HE “FEELS” THIS COULD BE IT.  SHE IS ALMOST READY TO PASS.  ON JUNE 27TH, 2020 JENNY PASSES AWAY FROM ORAL CANCER.  THERE IS NO FUNERAL.  SHE HAD ASKED TO BE CREMATED.  WE LEAVE THE DAY AFTER SHE DIES.  MY NIECE SPENT THE NIGHT WITH ME, AND WE WENT TO A RESTARAUNT.  WE ARE UP EARLY AND FLY OFF BACK HOME THE NEXT DAY.  I SPEND THE REMAINDER OF THE MONTH IN A FULL ON DEPRESSION AND MORE GRIEF TALKING OF GOOD TIMES AND HER MOM.  THE PANDEMIC APPEARS TO BE UNDER CONTROL.  WE FEEL NOW WE HAVE TO WAIT IT OUT FOR A VACCINE.  IT WILL BE OVER WITH AND BEHIND US.   

JULY-2020 STAYED IN MOST OF THE TIME TO AVOID THE COVID-19.  MY SON MARRIES ON JULY 27TH-2020 TO A WONDERFUL WOMAN I ADORE NAMED COLLEEN, AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER.  INTERESTING WEDDING, BEAUTIFUL, AS IT IS CENTERED IN NATURE RIGHT BEFORE YOU GET TO ESTES PARK.  IT IS THE FIRST TIME ANY OF US HAVE REALLY SMILED THAT CARED SO MUCH SINCE JENNY’S DEATH.  IT IS GOOD TO SMILE. 

AUGUST-2020 LIFE CONTINUES TO CHANGE.  I FIND OUT MY DAUGHTER IS PREGNANT WITH THEIR SECOND CHILD.  WE  ALSO FIND OUT PREGNANCY HAPPENS IN SPADES TOO!  MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IS PREGNANT.  YES OH YES, HOW EXCITING!   

SEPTEMBER-2020-NOTHING MUCH HAPPENS.  VISIT MY MOM ONE DAY OF THAT MONTH.  DECIDE TO GET A JUMPSTART ON CHRISTMAS. 

OCTOBER-2020-MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR IS HERE.  WE HAVE A COOL OFF PERIOD.  WE SEEM TO HAVE ACCEPTED COVID-19 AS IF OUR WORLD WAS ALWAYS THIS WAY.  WE HEAR NEWS OF ONE OF THE COMPANIES WORKING ON “OPERATION WARP SPEED TO PRODUCE A VACCINE MAY HAVE IN FACT FOUND ONE. 

NOVEMBER-2020- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!  COLLEEN, STERLINGS WIFE, PLANS A BIRTHDAY DINNER AND HOMEMADE CAKE FOR ME.  WE GO TO IDAHO THE LAST WEEK IN OCTOBER TO SEE MY DAUGHTER WHO ALSO HAS A SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME.  GRAHAM, HER SON IS CUTER THAN EVER.  HE IS BEGINNING TO TALK.  THE FIRST SNOW COMES. 

DECEMBER-2020 CHRISTMAS IS HERE AND I AM VERY PREPARED.  I HAVE DONE ALL MY SHOPPING ONLINE.  WE DO NOT SEE MY BROTHER DUE TO COVID AND HIS TWO CHILDREN AS WE ALWAYS HAVE.  COVID IS WAY UP AGAIN.  MANY OF US DIE FROM IT DAILY.  WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS WITH GRAHAM, MY DAUGHTER, AND JEFF HER HUSBAND WHO TAKE A RISK AND FLY OUT.  YEAR IS OVER BUT NOT WITHOUT THE FINAL GREAT NEWS PHIZER HAS CREATED A VACCINE.  THE FDA DOES AN EMERGENCY APPROVAL.  END OF AN OVERALL AWEFUL YEAR BUT SOME HIGHLIGHTS.  THIS IS SUCH A GREAT YEAR TO SAY GOODBYE TO.  NOTHING BUT PAIN AND MISERY.  LOSING JENNY WEIGHS HEAVILY ON MY MIND.  

THANKS FOR READING MY 2020 DIARY.  THIS IS THE LAST I WILL MENTION IT.  WHY?  IT WAS A HORRID YEAR.  SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM JOIN NOW! MAKE A CHANGE!!

SICKNESS AND DEATH

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NOTICE: This post may not be appeasing to some.

I received a call from my sister yesterday. It just so happens that she had been admitted to a hospital. After the call, i hurried to pack my luggage and the hospital to check up on her and know for sure what was wrong with her at that time.

When i got the hospital, i was faced with many things. I had to get some things for her with the very minimal strength i had- was coming from a prayer camp some 7 Kilometers away from my sister. It was damn hectic. I would walk from the ward she was to the Lab, Pharmacy, X-ray room and fruit shop.

“From our diagnosis, she had Sub-Acute Appendix. We would place her on a 48 hours watch to determine our next line of action. Please get these drugs for her”

When i walked into the ward at first, i saw an elderly woman on another bed battling with breath. From all that was gathered, her body was refusing any form of medication with blood all over her bed. I could hear try to breath with the aid of the machine but it still wasn’t working.

Some minutes after i went out to get the drugs for my sister…was already heading back to the ward. I heard loud screams. Joy, my sister was already up. I guess she was restless because of the sudden death and screams inside the ward.

All i could do was take the stress off my feet and sit down on a plastic chair that conveniently housed my buttocks. Afterwards, i stared at the corpse that was struggling to breathe some 15 minutes ago. Truth be told, that was the first time i had seen, up close, that kind of transition. May her soul rest in peace.

Initially, i sent @slleboeuf an email telling her that i may not host the prompt this week but i guess i just could not help but come up and do something. Let’s talk about sickness and death with a poem. Tell me what you think!

  • See picture
  • Compose a poem inspired by picture
  • Share with us

Remember that can donate to Daily Wisdom Words and help many children out there this December.

LANTERN AND TIME

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Isn’t it funny and a bit cruel how we dismiss things when a better version of it comes up?

The times are different. Different innovation roam the surface of the earth leaving the things we knew to beg for use.

I told myself that I wasn’t going to ask this question but I’m sure going to ask at this point: do you still use a lantern?

Or have you like this time and age relegated it to a warehouse? At this point, I see myself as the lantern. And the answer is quite simple.

Let’s talk about it.

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-Compose a poem inspired by picture with words in title

-Share with us

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT!👏💞

BONDS-A BIG SISTERS LOVE “9/30/2020- 6/27/2020” REST IN PEACE, JENNY

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OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “BONDS”.  BONDS ARE THE INVISIBLE LINK WE SHARE WITH OUR FAMILY.  A BOND ISN’T A VISIBLE TIE.  HOWEVER INVISIBLE AS IT IS, THE LOVE SHARED BETWEEN TWO SIBLINGS, DESPITE PHYSICAL DISTANCE, CAN’T BE BROKEN.  SADLY, TOMORROW MY LITTLE SISTER WOULD HAVE BEEN 53 YEARS OLD TOMORROW, 9.30-2020.  I never dreamed the day would come when I would lose her.  My little sister, Jenny, should still be here.  After-all, I am the one with the health issues. 

I do have faith in God, and I do believe we all have our time.  You may have heard the saying, “Only the good die young”.  I believe God called Jenny home to his arms.  Jen never had an easy life.   Probably the best time of life with her, would have been two years prior to her death, after at 51 years old she finally connected with her soulmate. 

In my opinion, another kind of bond we form is the one chosen we are to share our life with.  this is the man or women we know instinctively, we are meant to be with. To truly understand my little sister, she grew through the loss of her three year old daughter.  She was more  determined than ever to make every moment in life count.  Hillary’s life accounted for so much more than the brief three years she was on this earth.

She, at 23 years old, lost a three year old child, named Hillary.  My little sister and her husband grieved, so bad in fact, it took them different directions.  Although the bond they shared remained close, the love in the marriage was not as deep as the pain.   However, her memory lives on forever and Jenny always made sure of this, when after remarrying, she had two more beautiful girls.  Jenny did the best she could with the girls, always doing what it took after a four year marriage, which again didn’t work out.  I don’t wish to share the details of her marriage, but she did try so hard to make it work.  

 During the time of her marriage, Jenny fully supported her two daughters, and continued to do so after it was over.  Not once, did she receive an ounce of child support, other than a few spare dollars from her second husband.  Any of you reading this, if you find yourself passing judgement on my sister, stop reading this now.  We all make mistakes.  Jenny seemed to be the only one in our family to learn from those mistakes the first time.  Her two girls, the gift from this marriage were two years apart.  Jenny managed, due to her intelligence, excellent math and english skills, to secure a job as a legal assistant.  She amazed me through her strength.  There were permanent scars however, from the loss of her first child.  She constantly worried about her daughters and would check on them several times daily.  She did once share with me, “Sammy, I couldn’t take losing another child.”

  She loved them dearly, and wished she didn’t have to work so very hard, (60 hours a week, usually), coming home, and prepared a dinner.  She then helped her girls with their school work.  At this point, only one thing other than her girls, brought her joy.  The water and living near it in Venice Beach, Ca. meant so much to her.  That is how the girls felt as well enjoying the time they grew up with the ocean so near.  My little sister was unique.  She changed her name from Jennifter to Gypsy, because she was quite the singer.  Gypsy matched my little sister’s soul as she longed to always feel free.  This would not be freedom from her current life, but freedom of her soul when she sang and wrote music.  She taught herself at a very young age to play the guitar, writing lyrics to the tune she created. This is when Jenny allowed herself to feel free. 

 She loved her girls so much as they grew up.  She sacrificed herself and a social life to raise them.  Without a father helping out, she did a fine job raising them. She had another marriage to a fellow musician, she thought her children would attach to.  This, sadly didn’t happen. She ended up doing it all by herself, with no immediate family living in Southern California.  She did, however have her first ex-husband who continued to allow the love he felt for Hillary, live on Through Isabella and Luma helping out when he could.  She also had amazing friends who were loyal and at the drop of a hat would help.  She never took advantage of Johnny, her first husband or her friends.  In fact, if asked to describe my little sister as a friend or mother, she always led with love and kindness.  

 My nieces, now 21 and 23 are amazing.  Each child is so unique, bright, gifted and talented just like their mother was. There were some rough times from Jen but she always got through them and managed it all, even taking an additional job as a gourmet cook to support them.  They never lacked for anything including the love and nurturing all children needed.  She managed to professionally produce a songs over the years, all of which she wrote, creating lyrics to and recording.  She was beautiful.  They say we most admire our “family” after death.  I guess there is truth in this.  Although I often told her, I never understood how she managed everything so well in her life, she always proceeded to grow, spiritually and intellectually.  The girls are going through terrible grief now even after a few months.  Luma, who I have always been so close to, has retreated inward with me and other family members she is close to.  (NO JUDGEMENT, PLEASE).  I have however, forged a stronger bond with her oldest daughter, Isabella, who is grieving tremendously outright.  

If you remember, I mentioned the happiest year of Jenny’s life would have been meeting her one and only.  This would be her soulmate Gregory Keim.  He was someone she knew back in our highschool days, I believe, and they connected about once a year.  After the children, now young women and my sister at 51, more beautiful than ever, Jenny allowed herself to finally, unconditionally love her soulmate.  She finally did something for her.  I think she felt that the girls had enough of their own dream pursuits and talents, she could do something about her loving, lonely heart.  You may know how it feels to be lonely with so much to give, and noone to share your life with.  I know I have had this feeling throughout my lifetime.  

We are now back to our daily wisdom word, bonds.  It did not matter how little or often I got to visit or see my little sister and nieces.  Over the years, Jenny and I maintained that bond.  I only wish the love I feel so rawly today, knowing she would have been 53 tomorrow, the 30th of September, I could have shown more often.  I could have helped more.  I could have been a more supportive sister.  I could have seen them more often.  I was caught up in my own dramatic life, and Jenny always found time for me whenever I had an issue.  There was NO ONE I trusted more or who gave better advice.  She had a gift of every kind, and any challenge she faced, she met, flourishing a successful outcome.  

I have had so much support from my daily wisdom words writing community team members, and so many well meaning messages from friends on twitter and facebook as well as from my best friends.  This has been most awful for her girls, but Jenny raised them with resilience and I do believe they will successfully make it through all of this, not loving their mother any less or missing her any greater as each day passes.  They, like my mother, who was so very close with her youngest, have had the most difficulty with this.  I ask for all of you to say a prayer from your hearts today.  I ask that you pray for her girls, my mother, the wonderful husband who stood by her last horrifically painful year on this earth due from the cancer she had that ravaged her body so quickly.  I will always love and miss you, my sweet, kind, talented, heartfelt, sincere sister.  You live on through the girls and all the wonderful memories I have of you.  We simply ran out of time in this life.  I know God will eventually bring me to you in my final day.  You were the brightest light in so many lives including Kelly and Patti, your closest friends.  I will always love you more and miss you greater as each day passes.  

Your loving sister always, Sammy. “You can find my sister’s music on Youtube under Jennifer Gypsy Keim.  God bless all of you, who loved her as I do.  She will live on through the lessons she left and memories made.”

  

 

 

BLACK AND PANTHER

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IN MEMORY OF CHADWICK BOSEMAN

I  am going to dedicate today’s prompt to an American actor who died on the 28th of August, 2020 due to cancer. Since his death, much has been said about this amazing actor on social media and i must say that Hollywood is crying.

Truth be told, it pains me that he is dead after contributing greatly in painting Africa with amazing colors in the cinema. Let’s get into the prompt before i become too emotional.

  • See picture
  • compose a poem inspired by picture with words in title
  • Share with us

Artwork by Mercy G Art

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GREEN AND POWDER

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This picture has been on my phone for close to two months. Each time I turn my attention to it, it gives me reminds me of the ‘nature will survive’ philosophy I have forced my self to believe over the years.

Trust me, with all the events in the world one would be very quick to assume that nature is doomed for damnation but there’s hope.

That hope is you and I. As lovers of nature, we are expected to save it from the glaring death grip of industrialization.

Can you spare nature ten minutes of your time on DWW PICTURE POETRY?

-See picture

-Compose a poem inspired by picture with words in title

-Share with us via comment box below

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TERMINAL CANCER FROM A FAMILY SISTER’S PERSPECTIVE

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Less than a month ago, I lost my little sister to terminal Head and Neck Carcinoma.  It started just over one year ago, on her tongue as a canker sore.  She had gone to the dentist as it was extremely painful.  The dentist told Jenny that the canker sore looked a bit different than the typical canker sore so the dentist sent her to an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist.  Her specialist did a biopsy and told her it was cancer of the head and neck called, squamous cell carcinoma.  He said he felt confident that she would be okay, and at this time her main concern was if the cancer would have any affect on her ability to sing.  The specialist told her he would have to remove the portion of the tongue and margins to see if it had spread from her mouth.  Oddly, she didn’t have the typical predispositions for this cancer.  However, she did have a half brother who had had it, and fought it six years until it returned and he passed away from it.  

When I first heard the news, she had recently met the love of her life, a connection she reconnected with from many years back.  She lived in Venice, California at the time, and was pursuing her singing career, had finally raised two beautiful, amazing girls all by herself.  What I did not know until down the road was the cancer, being typed was already at a stage 3b and at a stage four, it is almost always terminal.  They had also taken a sample of lymph nodes and those came back with six lymph nodes positive for this kind of cancer.  she had a wedding I had just been to, prior to this first surgery to the man of her dreams.  They had a lot in common including playing music, and believed much in the same way.  The first time I had met him was between the initial diagnosis and the first surgery which she had asked the doctor if she could put off as she was getting married in two months.  He told her he saw NO issue with it.  You must understand all the reading in the world is not the same as a doctor who you’ve already built a trust factor with telling you he thought that would be fine.  

My little sister hated narcotics.  I have a disease which at one point required me to be on so much of them she actually hated them.  I felt when I saw her she was somehow different.  One thing I forgot to mention is she went to six days of radiation treatment prior to her wedding and had to stop.  after three treatments she could no longer eat or drink she was burnt so bad.  She almost at this point gave up, but gained her nerve back during the time of the wedding and wanting to survive so badly.  I mentioned the narcotics as I noticed when I took them, (she had no choice as the pain was unmanageable) I felt disconnected.  She was on top of all details, (she was a very sharp girl) as usual, but just a little disconnected due to the narcotics.  I think it was then she started to realize she might actually die from this.  She had already dropped approximately 30 pounds as eating wasn’t enjoyable to her with the pain it caused.  Just before I left, she said to me, “Sammy, wouldn’t it be sad if after all these years I finally meet the love of my life and I end up dying from this?”

I reassured her that would not happen but since the initial diagnosis, I had a sick feeling I could not pinpoint in my stomach.  She at this point decided to completely focus on getting better.  They ended up taking more of her tongue due to the pain level she continued experiencing and the news was not good.  At this point, I would call and try to talk to her and she had a strong lisp.  The treatments began.  At this point she had a full team of experts working on her.  She had made it clear she would NOT go on chemotherapy as a treatment option.  One highly successful treatment was something called brachytherapy which was inserting small beads of radiation throughout the infected area.  When the anesthesiologist put her under for her second tongue operation, he caused her to go into cardiac arrest due to the tracheotomy all patients have.  I also, had gotten the nerve up to avoid how I felt and dig into her kind of cancer.  It appeared based on the numbers she would eventually get it back as many patients do.  My sister sat in an isolation chamber for four days alone.  I never was there for these treatments.  I live in Denver, and still have health issues.  Also, I feel I was a coward not wanting to see her suffer.  

Ideally, she would have gone from this radiation therapy straight to chemotherapy but chose not to do the chemotherapy portion.  Quality of life was important to her, and I think with what she had already gone through it was just too much.  When I flew out two weeks prior to her dying, she was so very thin it scared me.  She also had little strength.  There was a note on the refrigerator showing that her doctor’s first test results after the bracheotherapy and her tumors had shrunk.  However, without the chemotherapy to follow, another NEW tumor was now growing rapidly in her jaw despite the radiation therapy. She even agreed at this point to the chemotherapy, but she wasn’t strong enough to take it at that point after losing so much weight and the wear and tear cancer puts our body through.   She did everything she was capable of, but on June 27th, at 5:15pm I watched her take her last breath at her home in Jenner, California.  

Hospice had stepped in as the doctors no longer could manage the pain, and I had barely unpacked when we were on another trip, this one to say goodbye.  The days that have followed have been full of sobbing on my end, and guilt for what I did not do that I felt I should have.  I wonder to this day if she will ever know how very much I loved her and so many other people, including her husband she was so happy with.  In the end, you could see her big blue eyes filled with exhaustion from fighting a battle where the timing seemed off.  I firmly believe, even if she was ever able to get to remission, she would have had the same result and it saddens me deeply to write this.  I thought it would be good for those of us who have family members with terminal cancer to hear my thoughts and facts.  Now that you’ve read this, what did we learn from it?  I personally feel the doctors waited too long between surgeries, but then again she was underweight and also on a feeding tube.  Sometimes, God calls us home like he did Jenny.  Her beautiful blue eyes were the last thing I remember seeing the day she died.  Please share your comments on a family member who you are dealing with who has terminal cancer or share your thoughts about my story.  Do you see anything blatantly glaring we did wrong?  Jenny always made her own decisions.  All I know is now she is gone and my heart aches horribly.  I know one day I will see her again.  I just know a special soul filled with kindness and love could never die eternally. She was only 52 years old when she passed.  She will always be with me in my heart and in my memories from childhood which I cherish to this day.

Samantha Leboeuf/Daily Wisdom Words

GOODBYES

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How do we say farewell or goodbye?  Now that I have lost someone so close to me, my sister, I am wondering if saying farewell to those I love could be the final farewell.  Life is short.  We never know what will happen today, much less in the future.  Sadly, life is full of loss and tragedy.  It is also full of hope and dreams that sometimes come true.  I am upset with myself  for the things I did not say to Jenny, my little sister before she died.   I was truly at a loss for words.  The main memories I have of her are from childhood.  I do remember whenever there was a crisis, (love crisis and otherwise), she was there for me.  She would often hang up the phone without a farewell or goodbye as she would be getting another call or the her girls needed something, or her lunch break was over.  I think she thought as I did.  Maybe forever’s are how we all live our lives.  If we are not sick, we don’t focus on death.  When we say goodbye to someone we love, we don’t think  that it may be the last chance we get to do so.  

Goodbyes are so important because we simply don’t know what will happen in our future.  We should place more importance on them.  I believe when I say goodbye, I should say I love you, always to those I love.  At least my little sister knew this.  I loved her very much.  She lives on through her music.  I hate it that I am continually going onto any music platform I can find, to hear her music.  Why did I not take more of an interest in it when she was alive?  the years of our thirties and forties were spent raising our children.  She lived in Los Angeles and I lived in Parker, Colorado.  We would talk once a month, maybe more.  When we would talk, the bond we had automatically had built from childhood came back instantly.  We found ourselves once again telling each other our secrets.  I would tell her the things I told no one else.   I would share with her secrets you only trust a sister with.  She would share with me, the same.  I know in the last year of her life she first of all had a husband.  They were so close she shared with him what she no longer shared with me.  

The main reason she didn’t share much with me was because she could not talk without people, including myself, asking her to repeat what she was saying as it was hard to understand her.  I think it was frustrating to her.  I know it was for me.  Remember: she was 52 years old and I am 55 years old.  At this point, she also had a best friend for 30 years, Kelly.  I feel Kelly knew my little sister’s secrets.  It is easy to think that we didn’t have much in common at this stage in her life, newly married, with cancer and already having a best friend.  however, just because we didn’t have a lot in common, the childhood bond remained.   Amazing it stayed so strong,  I believe had she been able to communicate better, she and I would have shared more.  She seemed happy until the cancer treatments and cancer itself caused so much pain.  I realize now, that the last few times I talked to her, I talked to her feeling so bad for her, and this came through in our conversation.  We could have texted.  We simply didn’t that often.  As life goes on, we become a product of our experiences.  The last year of her life she was experiencing the cancer, a new marriage, living hundreds of miles away from her girls who she connected with always seeing them.  She was going through so many adjustments, I doubt her mind was on what Samantha was doing for that night’s dinner.  

I miss her hourly now.  However, it hasn’t even been three weeks since she’s been gone.  I wish I had…..I wish I could….Phrases like this get us no where in life.  What takes us to new growth levels in life, is learning from our mistakes.  I will.  I will be more careful to share my feelings with loved ones, placing their feelings first.  My goodbyes won’t be so quick any more.  Time is NOT a promise.  It is a gift.  Life is a gift.  Getting to say goodbye short-term or long-term is a gift if we remember to always say how we feel.  “I love you”, will always accompany my goodbyes now.  A new feeling envelopes me when I think of a goodbye with someone I love.  There are no promises it won’t be my last goodbye.  Make every goodbye or farewell, one that will be remembered in case things change in your life or theirs.  Tomorrow is not a promise.  Neither is the next hour.  We only have the present to treat those we love with grace and love.  When we say goodbye, we should say it with feeling.  It could be our last one to that person.  We don’t control life as much as we would love to.  goodbye for now, and yes, readers, I do love you all.  

Samantha LeBoeuf/Daily Wisdom Words

DEATH WHAT HAPPENS IN THE AFTERLIFE? 7/11/2020

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AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, I JUST LOST MY BABY SISTER JUST TWO WEEKS AGO TODAY.  I WOULD LOVE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION I POSED ABOVE, BUT I HONESTLY DO NOT HAVE THE ANSWERS.  THIS IS THE FIRST PERSON IN MY LIFE I HAVE LOST I WAS SO CLOSE TO.  I OFTEN WONDER, WAS IT JUST ME?  WHAT DID I NOT KNOW IN THE LAST YEAR OF HER LIFE?  I CAME TO VISIT JUST TWO WEEKS BEFORE SHE PASSED, AND THE WEEKEND THAT SHE PASSED AWAY, AND SO MANY EMOTIONS FILL MY HEAD AND HEART WHEN I SEE MY LITTLE SISTER I PLAYED WITH AND HUNG OUT WITH AS A CHILD, PASS AWAY AND STOP BREATHING.  FIRST, I FELT SHOCK.  I THINK WHEN THIS TYPE AND DEPTH OF TRAGEDY OCCURS IN OUR LIVES, SHOCK WOULD BE A COMMON EMOTION.  I ALSO HAVE FELT ANGER.  WHY?  SHE HAD SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER THIS WORLD. 

WHEN THE SHOCK WORE OFF, THE ANGER BEGAN TO TRICKLE DOWN INSIDE ME.   I REALIZED AFTER ASKING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WHY HER, GOD, I WOULDN’T GET AN ANSWER.   NOT MANY OF YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LITTLE SISTER.  SHE HAD A CANKER SORE IN HER MOUTH APPROXIMATELY 14 MONTHS AGO, AND IT REALLY WAS BUGGING HER AND VERY PAINFUL.  SHE WENT TO THE DENTIST IN REGARDS TO THIS “SORE” AND HE SAID IT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE A TYPICAL SORE.  HE SENT HER TO AN EAR, NOSE AND THROAT SPECIALIST, WHO THEN PERFORMED A BIOPSY.  HE HIMSELF SEEMED SURPRISED AT THE RESULTS.  SHE HAD ORAL CANCER AKA HEAD AND NECK CANCER.  THE MEDICAL TERM FOR THIS TYPE OF CANCER IS “SQUAMOUS CELL CARCINOMA” OF THE HEAD AND NECK.  BY THE TIME THE SPECIALIST GOT THE RESULTS BACK TO TYPE THE CANCER, SHE WAS CLOSE TO A STAGE FOUR.  HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

WHEN THIS INFORMATION CAME BACK, I WAS REALLY SCARED.  SHE HAD A WEDDING COMING UP IN ONE MONTH, AND THE DOCTOR AGREED TO LET HER PUT OFF REMOVING THE TUMOR UNTIL IT WAS OVER. IT IS FUNNY.  I MUST INTERJECT SOMETHING IN HERE.  I NOW BELIEVE THAT HAD SHE NOT WAITED AND BEGAN TREATMENT IMMEDIATELY, IT WOULD NOT HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE.  WE MIGHT HAVE FELT MORE PEACE WITH IT, BUT ULTIMATELY I BELIEVE SHE WOULD HAVE ARRIVED AT THE SAME PLACE.  TREATMENT STARTED WITH RADIATION.  THE RADIATION WAS SO HORRIBLE THEY USED, AS IT BURNT HER TONGUE AND THROAT SO BADLY.  SHE COULD NOT EAT OR EVEN DRINK.  SHE REFUSED TO GO BACK AFTER FIVE OR SIX DAYS OF IT.  I HONESTLY DON’T BLAME HER.  WHEN I CALLED TO CHECK ON HER AFTER THE SECOND RADIATION TREATMENT, SHE COULD NOT EVEN TALK.  SHE WAS CRYING AND IN PAIN.  

THE NEXT STEP WAS TO REMOVE THE TUMOR.  SINCE IT WAS LOCATED ON THE TONGUE, THERE WAS NO CHOICE BUT TO REMOVE PART OF IT.  SHE AT THAT POINT, COULD NOT SPEAK WITHOUT A HEAVY LISP AFTER SIX WEEKS OF HEALING.  THE BIOPSY CAME BACK THAT THE CANCER HAD SPREAD TO HER LYMPH NODES. I HONESTLY I FELT SHE WAS GOING TO BE FINE, EVEN AT THIS POINT.  AFTER THIS, THEY HAD ANOTHER THERAPY WHERE SHE STAYED ISOLATED FOR FIVE DAYS IN A ROOM THAT WAS RADIOACTIVE AND NO ONE WAS ALLOWED IN BECAUSE IT COULD HARM THEM.  THIS IS WHERE MY GUILT BEGINS TO SET IN.  I DID NOT WANT TO FACE THAT THIS WAS AS SERIOUS AS IT WAS.  I AM SO VERY ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT, BUT I WAS SCARED. HER AND I KNOW EACH OTHER WELL.  I KNEW ALSO, I WOULD START CRYING.  SHE HAD GIVEN STRICT ORDERS FOR OTHERS NOT TO BE SAD AROUND HER.  SHE SIMPLY COULD NOT STAND BEING THE ROOT OF ANOTHER’S PAIN.  SHE SIMPLY DIDN’T HAVE A MEAN BONE IN HER BODY.  

THE PROTOCOL AFTER THIS, WAS TO BEGIN CHEMOTHERAPY, BUT SHE TOLD THE DOCTORS THAT SHE WOULD NOT DO THIS DUE TO THE HORRIFIC SIDE EFFECTS.  SHE HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST WHO THOUGHT HE PUT HER TO SLEEP.  HE HAD NOT.  SHE COULD FEEL THE TRACHEOTOMY TUBE GOING DOWN HER THROAT AND WOKE UP, AND WENT INTO CARDIAC ARREST.  AFTER  THIS, SHE ALSO WOULD NO LONGER AGREE TO A TRACHEOTOMY PROCEDURE WHICH WAS REQUIRED FOR ALL REMAINING OPTIONS FOR THIS CANCER.   NOTHING WENT RIGHT.  AFTER SPENDING FIVE DAYS IN ISOLATED, TARGETED RADIATION, THE INITIAL TUMORS HAD SHRUNK, BUT A NEW TUMOR BEGAN TO PROTUDE FROM THE LEFT SIDE OF HER THROAT ON HER VOICE BOX.  (NO MORE SINGING).  THIS HAD ALWAYS BEEN HER PASSION WAS WRITING MUSIC AND SINGING IT, AND NOW, THE QUALITY OF HER LIFE WAS NOT GOING TO ALLOW HER TO SING ANYMORE.  SHE REFUSED CHEMOTHERAPY AND TRACHEOTOMIES WERE REQUIRED FOR THE REMAINING OPTIONS.  

AT THIS POINT, WE ARE A GOOD NINE MONTHS INTO THE FOURTEEN MONTHS FROM HER WEDDING. I HAD TO HAND IT OVER TO HER HUSBAND.  HE WAS AMAZING AND EVEN SLEPT ON THE FLOOR OF HOSPITAL ROOMS SO HE WOULD NOT HAVE TO LEAVE HER.  SHE OPTED TO GO TOWARDS EASTERN MEDICINE OR A HOMEOPATHIC TREATMENT.  SHE TRIED, BUT THE CANCER WAS CONTINUALLY GETTING WORSE.  SHE AT THIS POINT WEIGHED A LITTLE MORE THAN HALF OF HER INITIAL WEIGHT.  THEY HAD INCLUDED A FEEDING TUBE IN AS PROTOCOL TO HELP HER GAIN WEIGHT.  NO SUCH LUCK.  I HAVE SHARED NOW, MOST OF THE FACTS UNTIL TWO WEEKS PRIOR TO HER DEATH WHEN I FIRST WENT OUT TO JENNER, CALIFORNIA.  MY SISTER WAS MADLY IN LOVE, AND HAD TWO AMAZING DAUGHTERS WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART.  SHE HAD REASONS “TO LIVE”.  GREGORY WAS SO “CONNECTED” TO HER, HE COULD NOT STAND ALL OF THIS AND HER INCREASED PAIN SO I FEEL HE WAS ALONG THE SAME THINKING LINES AS SHE WAS.  I WAS SHOCKED WHEN I ARRIVED FOR MY FIRST VISIT.  THIS IS WHEN I REALIZED THERE WAS A GOOD CHANCE MY LITTLE SISTER WOULD HAVE TO FACE DEATH. 

I AM NOT ABLE TO HIDE MY EMOTIONS VERY WELL, AND I FEEL SHE KNEW IT WAS SO HARD ON ME BECAUSE THERE WAS A GOOD HALF A DAY THAT SHE TOLD ME NOT TO COME AGAIN.  AT THIS POINT, SHE HAD SAID HER GOODBYES.  THE DOCTORS GAVE HER TWO TO SIX MONTHS.  WE WANT TO BE ANGRY WITH SOMEONE WHEN WE SEE A LOVED ONE GO THROUGH ALL THIS.  WE DO NOT WANT TO LOSE THEM.  OH MY GOODNESS, NO WAY.  I WENT HOME AND POURED MY HEART AND SOUL INTO LOOKING FOR FDA TRIALS FOR THIS FORM OF CANCER.  DUE TO COVID-19, MANY OF THE RESEARCHERS HAD TO STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF EXPERIMENTS AND WHAT WAS AVAILABLE, WAS THINGS THAT SHE HAD MADE UP HER MIND SHE SIMPLY WOULD NOT DO.  ALL OF THE RESEARCH I FOUND REQUIRED A TRACHEOTOMY TO PROCEED.  SHE AT THIS POINT, WAS NOW TOO WEAK AND BODY WEIGHT TOO LOW TO DO THIS.  IT WAS BEYOND SAD THE SECOND TRIP WHEN I WENT.  SHE HAD CHANGED HER MIND ABOUT ME COMING ON THE SAME DAY SHE TOLD ME NOT TO COME.  SHE TEXTED ON HER OWN, TELLING ME TO COME.  DEATH-THIS IS OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY.  WE ARE GETTING CLOSE TO THE END OF THIS STORY IN EVERY WAY, SAD, BUT TRUE.  

WE ARE NOW GOING TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE WEBSTER DICTIONARY MEANING OF DEATH AND THEN, THE DAILY WISDOM WORDS DEFINITION.  

DEATH-THE END OF A LIFE OF A PERSON.  2.  PERMANENT END OF VITAL CELL PROCESSES AND FUNCTION OF THE HUMAN BODY DIES.  

DWW DEFINITION OF DEATH-A LOSS OF A HUMAN BEING THAT IS HUMAN.  THEY ARE NO LONGER PART OF THIS REALM AND HAVE A NEW SPIRITUAL REALM.  DEATH GIVES WAY TO A RE-BIRTHING PROCESS AS THEIR SIN IS WASHED AWAY. THEY ARE NOW GOD’S ANGELS ‘WITH WINGS.  JENNY SOFTLY TOOK IN ONE LAST BREATH OF AIR AND SHE WAS GONE.  IF I HAD NO FAITH OR HOPE IN HUMANITY, I WOULDN’T BELIEVE I WOULD SEE HER AGAIN.  WE WILL  ALONG WITH OTHER LOVED ONES I BELIEVE WHEN I GO.  THE DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY WAS DEATH.  THE LAST THING I REMEMBER ABOUT JENNY’S FACE WAS THE EXPRESSION OF PEACE.  WHY HER, LORD?  WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GO?  WHY DID SHE LEAVE SO SOON WHEN YOU CALLED HER HOME?  I SUSPECT THOSE ANSWERS WILL NOT HAVE AN ANSWER UNTIL I CROSS OVER FOR REBIRTH.  GOD BLESS YOU ALL.  FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE MEMORIAL FOR MY SISTER, JENNIFER GYPSY KEIM, I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.  PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ON YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS OF DEATH, OR A POEM ABOUT IT.  SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/BIG SISTER

 

DEATH – Dedicated to Samantha

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“If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”
-James O’Barr

In the past, I’ve written two articles on dealing with a death of a loved one. As you might know by know, our dear founder of this site Samantha, just recently lost her sister to cancer. Hence, I am reposting both those articles in this post and dedicating it to her.

PART 1

We all go through periods of grieving the loss of loved ones.

It’s inevitable that those periods will cause us pain.
But in the long run, we almost remember to cherish our memories with those that are gone.

If the ones who departed were truly close to us, they too would perhaps want the same.

So when you deal with loss, cry a little and mourn a little.

But smile afterward at the thought of having such a special relationship with the person who’s gone.

PART 2

In a previous post, I had talked about dealing with deaths of loved ones. To summarize that post, I had written about how to keep loving the person that’s gone. I would like to expand on that thought a litte more today.

I’ve always believed that souls do not die, only bodies do. And having loving memories of the deceased keeps them alive, spiritually.

That said, we do have to learn to accept that they will never be with us again physically and that can be difficult to cope with at times.

A few years ago, I lost my fiancee to a horrific tragedy. Everybody around me kept telling me to think of the good times with her and how much joy she brought in my life. In the long run, however, that proved to be somewhat of a conflict for me.

I would stare at her picture sometimes and reminisce for hours. The problem was coming back to reality because each time I did so, she was no longer there.
After speaking about this matter to several people, including a therapist who I am still in touch with till this day, I learned how to cope with it with embracing a specific ideology:

The intangible is as powerful and meaningful as the tangible. The lack of being able to touch something or someone does not devalue their presence in our lives.

Admittedly, this takes time to embrace or even believe it, especially if you’re not a particularly spiritual person.
But this doesn’t just apply spiritually. Due to technology, the world is getting smaller and smaller. We now interact with people all over the world who we may never see in person.

The Daily Wisdom Words website itself is potpourri of wonderful writers and poets most of whom have never interacted face to face. And yet, the result is beautiful.

If we learn to accept that a physical presence is not always necessary, it can give us solace both spiritually and practically.

How do you deal with the loss of a loved one? Do you miss their physical presence? Do you feel them around you spiritually? Give your opinions by commenting below on our secure servers.

CARE AND EMBRACE

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I’m dedicating this prompt to our dear Samantha’s sister who passed away after struggling with cancer. In times like this, it is pertinent to care and embrace one another.

If you are reading this, then, one way or another you’d know Samantha Lebeouf and the lovely things she has been doing over the years.

I’d like you to take time out to;

-See the picture

-Compose a poem inspired by picture

-Share with us

#FORSAMANTHALEBEOUF

MAY YOUR SISTER’S SOUL REST IN PEACE.

COMING HOME BY KELLY CANTER

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LYRICS

It’s a four letter word
A place you go to heal your hurt
It’s an altar, it’s a shelter
One place you’re always welcome
A pink flamingo, double wide
One bedroom in a high rise
A mansion on a hill
Where the memories always will
Keep you company whenever you’re alone
After all of my running
I’m finally coming

Home – the world tried to break me
I found a road to take me
Home – there ain’t nothing but a blue sky now
After all of my running,
I’m finally coming… Home

Well they say it’s where the heart is
And I guess the hardest part is
When your heart is broken
And you’re lost out in the great wide open
Looking for a map
For finding your way back
To where you belong
Oh well that’s where I belong

Home – the world tried to break me
I found a road to take me
Home – there ain’t nothing but a blue sky now
After all of my running
I’m finally coming… Home

Home

Home – the world tried to break me
I found a road to take me
Home – there ain’t nothing but a blue sky now
After all of my running, I’m finally coming…
After all of my running
I’m finally coming… Home

_____________________________________

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GRIEVING BEST WAYS TO COPE WITH DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

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Sometimes in life, we find ourselves grieving. Grieving is a part of life along with loss.  When we lose someone we love, especially when they are suffering, we feel a mixture of emotions.  Part of us wants to see our loved one out of pain prior to death.  There is another part of us that still sees the person they once were before they got sick because their soul is the same one they were born with.  Sheer willpower and strength and hope we want so badly to believe in.  

While the person is alive, despite the ultimate prognosis of death, there are miracle cures where no explainable medical reason can be given for the cure, you do hear of cures happening in rarity.  Still, no matter what our loved one asks us before they pass on, we want to give them hope.  I was faced with this question from my niece, my sister’s daughter.  I am sure they are all very angry with me now, as I told them what I honestly thought;  based on decisions made in the earlier stages of the particular cancer she has,  radiation  was stopped after the therapy burnt her skin so badly she could not swallow, eat or drink.  I can’t believe it just a little over a year ago we originally got the diagnosis.  How do we cope with our loved one when she hasn’t faced the reality herself and what should your role be in this situation?  Her two young grown daughters, 21 years old and 23 years old, still had not realized the seriousness of her illness which could be deadly and still unsure of her final outcome, as she dropped to a mere 74 pounds losing more than half of her body weight.  When my niece (her daughter) asked me if I thought her mother would make it, I shared with her I didn’t based on my opinion.  I don’t know if I did the right thing given my nieces age.  

Perhaps the opinion shared with my sister that she would not make it when she asked me, and sharing with her daughter my honest thoughts have been viewed as negative, but I felt it would not be right to lie to either of them when the purpose of my visit was to go out of state and say goodbye for an ungiven amount of time.  Now that we are gone and I said goodbye, as we were leaving, sadly my sister  could not even speak aloud goodbye back.  her newest tumor is growing quickly and had finally cut off use of her voice box.  I failed to mention her passion was singing.  Strange how these things happen.  Jenny carries with her the love of so many people including myself where it is a little like the story, “Where the Red Fern Grows”.  I feel we started off together playing as kids and our fern grew in different directions as we took different paths in life yet remained intertwined.  However, both ferns lived remaining with one another as they stayed alive over tbe past 50 years.  This was supposed to be a more optimistic take on grief, but as I write this story, I know I am still too sad  finding myself at times over the past weeks breaking down crying.  

I will offer some advice that I found  helpful when I researched, “how to deal with grief”. 

 

1.  Write.  Purging your feelings on paper can be helpful and a way to release them in a way that isn’t self sabotaging.  2.  Talk to individuals who care about you but also have the ability to be objective about the situation.  with matters of the heart this serious.  3a.  trust is necessary in your faith during this tragic time.  having doubts in your faith is normal.  You are dealing with loss of a loved one, whose fate is/was completely out of your hands. Anger is normal and trying to blame someone, whether it be her doctors or God is normal. Realizing this is part of the overcoming the first stage of grief, denial.  3b.  anger is the second step of grief.  talking out your feelings can help you deal with coping, especially when talking with someone of a professional nature such as a counselor or psychologist.  3c.  bargaining is also a part of the five stages of grief.  how do we handle this?   we must accept in life we don’t and cannot control everything.  bargaining is a way of trying to hang onto control we never had to begin with when losing someone.  4.  Depression is the4th of 5 stages of grief.  We must cope with it, but draw the line when it comes to acceptance of the loss without dwelling on the sadness.  Life does change.  You may have a bad day one day, and a good one the next.  this is how we deal with depression, stage four of grief.  5.  Acceptance.  It may seem we don’t or aren’t able to get to this stage.  In time, however, it will come.  Does this mean our feelings of love and loss of our loved one will disappear?  No, it simply means we develop coping mechanisms for dealing with these feelings.  As many say, coping with loss is a part of life.  this doesn’t make it any easier to deal with;  only time passing can help us with this.  

You will always wonder if you did or said the right or correct things to your loved one after they have passed.  I personally, will always wonder if I dealt with the situations presented to me the best way possible.  There is no “magic formula” to deal with grief.  Only time can begin to heal the pain and wounds of the loss of a loved one.  Thanks so much for reading about grief, and I pray this article has brought you some form of peace.  

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Other daily wisdom words articles related to grief and loss

Losing Loved Ones

 

COPING WITH DEATH

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“If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”

-James O’Barr

We all go through it. It happens to people we love and cherish dearly. You know it’s coming and will continue to come till the end of humanity. It’s pre-destined from the day you’re born.

I’m talking about death.

Read more

TRAGEDY

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How do we deal with  personal tragedies in our lives, especially when we don’t expect it and are hit with it on a day that seems to be going just fine? Tragedy can either make us or break us as individuals and we can either cope with it, and get stronger, or lose ourselves in it.

Let us take a look at the meaning of tragedy in our Webster Dictionary before going any further.

Tragedy-An event causing great suffering, destruction and distress such as a loss, serious accident, crime or natural catastrophe.

Daily Wisdom Word Definition of tragedy-Sadness and suffering caused by any form of loss including death, an ending of a relationship, or unexpected accident.

Tragedy comes in all forms and we have to find a way to cope with it.  I have written on loss and endings before, but tragedy in an all-encompassing word for all of this.  It hurts our hearts and is so painful, especially when the tragedy is personal, up close and real.

World tragedy happens all of the time.  We just recently had two mass shootings over one weekend by people motivated by racial tragedy.  This has hurt our Nation and our false belief that we are invincible and safe.  World tragedies like this, have not warning, usually and hit us out of left field, sometimes when we least expect it.  World tragedy affects all of us, and makes us feel a little less sure of our control on life.

Personal tragedy is the hardest I believe, because you must COPE with immediate changes and sadness you feel from them especially when you lose someone you love.  Sometimes personal tragedy takes form in a break-up or death.  When this happens, especially with no warning, our immediate circumstances CHANGE FOREVER and we feel them from our bones.

Our hearts break and we often ask the question, WHY?  Why did this have to happen to us?  It is important to mention that how we cope with tragedy and how sensitive we are has much to do with the way we survive it.  A break-up with someone you love can cause great personal tragedy.  A death of a loved one can cause tragedy and loss as well.  A personal break-up can feel like the end of the world, but we do have a choice with how we cope with it.

We must make the best of tragedies.  At the end of every thunderstorm there is often a rainbow that follows, full of color and beauty.  Sometimes, it takes tragedies to make us stronger or to see CHANGE.  REAL CHANGE.  We have to look inside them and find the lesson they hold, as well as cope with the devastating loss, no matter what it is.

Many of us think we are in control of everything.  However, that is simply an illusion.  Bad things continue to happen around us even if it is not to us, directly.

LOSS, especially personal of those we love, is to myself the hardest, but my life is not over.  Who is to say what the next thing to happen is in my life that may make me realize this is not the worst thing in the world?

Thanks so much for reading about tragedy today.  PLEASE, I urge you to “join the discussion” beneath this article, and give us your thoughts on tragedy.  Thanks so much for reading, and have a beautiful and blessed day.dd

By the way, if you’re reading this article, you are already on the Daily Wisdom Words Website.  Since your visiting already, as this is a site for Poets, Authors and Writers, and the Daily Wisdom Words blog is just part of what we offer.  We have picture poetry everyday other than Sunday, as well as Neel’s Wisdomology which is a post with sound, practical subjects and advice you can participate in including a quote or poem or with a comment.  You may also have a Book review done which we post on two different areas of our Website.  Please review our site and become the latest member of our family for just $10 for a lifetime.  This site promotes literacy and your new membership also supports a good cause.

Samantha LeBoeuf/DWW

Losing a Loved One – Part 2

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“If only are eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how different would our ideals of beauty be?”

-Unknown

In a previous post, I had talked about dealing with deaths of loved ones. To summarize that post, I had written about how to keep loving the person that’s gone. I would like to expand on that thought a litte more today.

I’ve always believed that souls do not die, only bodies do. And having loving memories of the deceased keeps them alive, spirutually.

That said, we do have to learn to accept that they will never be with us again physically and that can be difficult to cope with at times.

A few years ago, I lost my fiancee to a horrific tragedy. Everybody around me kept telling me to think of the good times with her and how much joy she brought in my life. In the long run, however, that proved to be somewhat of a conflict for me.

I would stare at her picture sometimes and reminisce for hours. The problem was coming back to reality because each time I did so, she was no longer there.

After speaking about this matter to several people, including a therapist who I am still in touch with till this day, I learned how to cope with it with embracing a specific ideology:

The intangible is as powerful and meaningful as the tangible. The lack of being able to touch something or someone does not devalue their presence in our lives.

Admittedly, this takes time to embrace or even believe it, especially if you’re not a particularly spiritual person.

But this doesn’t just apply spiritually. Due to technology, the world is getting smaller and smaller. We now interact with people all over the world who we may never see in person.

The Daily Wisdom Words website itself is potpourri of wonderful writers and poets most of whom have never interacted face to face. And yet, the result is beautiful.

If we learn to accept that a physical presence is not always necessary, it can give us solace both spiritually and practically.

How do you deal with the loss of a loved one? Do you miss their physical presence? Do you feel them around you spiritually? Give your opinions by commenting bellow.