Self-Sabotaging is more common than most of us think. In fact, statistics show many of us self-sabotage and aren’t even aware we are doing it. What exactly does self-sabotaging mean? The dictionary describes it as this: Webster Dictionary Meaning: the sabotaging, whether consciously or subconsciously, of oneself. Daily Wisdom Words Definition-to destroy or corrupt oneself by hurting our own success. We often self-sabotage whether we are aware of it or not, by destroying their best interests at heart. They destroy their own success through dysfunctional and distorted beliefs that lead them to underestimate their capabilities, suppress their feelings, or lash out at those around them. Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when we create problems in daily life and interfere with long standing goals.
The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting, or over-eating, or developing eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia according to an article in “Psychology Today”. How do we stop self-sabotaging? We all realize where we would like to go and have a pretty good idea of how to get there, but we procrastinate in various ways. We will literally waste time with things we tell ourselves must be done consciously, when we are only creating the necessity to do them to self-sabotage our own goals. There are five different ways to stop self sabotaging. One is to go to seek professional help from psychologists, or counselors or psychiatrists, who specialize in behavior modification. I read an article written by Andrea Bonior Ph.D who has suggested stopping the following behaviors.
The if-only fantasy is one of her five reasons we self-sabotage and do it so effectively. We think to ourselves, if only I were in a different financial situation I would finish college. “if only” my partner could change his behavior our relationship would work. Notice the examples she uses are ones that we have no control over changing, so in this sense we destroy meeting our best self and executing our set goals. We can try to fix this by changing our thinking and saying to ourselves, “X is this way and Y is that way” accepting that certain things can’t be changed and that we can’t undo our past but we can change our present and future. What is more effective according to Andrea Bonior Ph.D, is to “define your shine”. another way we sabotage our success is being afraid of our own thoughts. When we suppress thoughts, we give them more power to control us, and they do. We make excuses for these thoughts rather than process them. We need to acknowledge our thoughts and face them, therefore addressing them and processing them appropriately.
Another way we sabotage ourselves is by burying our feelings. We often, due to fear, don’t allow our feelings to be processed accordingly. Sometimes we bury our feelings out of guilt, and sometimes out of fear of what we may do. To feel angry about a situation, is very different than acting on your emotions unleashing them on the world. Feelings, when hidden corrode us from the inside out, thereby causing chaos and destruction. Acknowledging your feelings doesn’t make them spin out of control. Putting a lid on your feelings does.
Another way we sabotage ourselves is “habitually starting tomorrow”. We eat too much one day and tell ourselves, tomorrow we will start over with a clean slate. Why not, after realizing what we did do we not state a clean slate in 15 minutes? The longer we wait to start change, the longer it won’t start.
Yet another way, we self-destruct is by letting inertia harm us rather than help us. The more we stay on target with our goals, whatever they are, the easier it is to set permanent patterns. If we buy new gym pants, don’t focus so much on the pants. They may never get worn. Focus on the workout itself. Inertia can be positive or negative. I am sure you have heard the saying, “a body in motion stays in motion.” This is inertia working for us. Obviously, the opposite, never moving, is inertia working against us.
Join Daily Wisdom Words, a full access writing community and if you participate, by reading the articles, doing our live prompts and taking advantage of your free counseling as well as your own advertising page, a social media page we give to all writers, YOU WILL BECOME A BETTER WRITER. This article on self-sabotaging, only taking some of its advice gets you one step closer. Thanks for reading! Samantha LeBoeuf