Self-harm

WORTHINESS

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WORTHINESS IS A VALUABLE DAILY WISDOM WORD.  I DON’T MEAN THIS AS A PUN EITHER.  WORTHINESS IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT WE FEEL INSIDE THAT CAN AFFECT WHAT WE FEEL WE ARE WORTHY OF WHETHER THAT BE GOOD OR BAD.  IF WE DON’T FEEL WE ARE WORTHY OF GOOD THINGS AND GOOD PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES, WE WON’T ATTRACT THE GOOD THINGS AND GOOD PEOPLE BECAUSE WE FEEL WE DON’T DESERVE THEM.  PERHAPS THAT EXPLAINS WHY SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH ARE BOTH IMPORTANT WHEN DETERMINING WORTHINESS.  

IF WE FEEL WE AREN’T WORTHY OF SOMETHING OR SOMEONE GOOD, THIS IS FELT SOMETIMES WHEN WE FEEL GUILTY ABOUT SOMETHING WE VIEW AS BAD WE HAVE DONE SUCH AS HURTING ANOTHER PERSON OR A FORM OF SELF-PUNISHMENT.  THIS IS WHEN WE SEE WORTHINESS TAKE ON SUCH BEHAVIOR AS “CUTTING OURSELVES” OR SELF PUNISHMENT WHICH HARMS US IN SOME WAY. 

IF WE ARE NOT HURTING OURSELVES WITH CUTTING, OR HARMFUL EATING DISORDERS, THEN WE GENERALLY FIND WE PUNISH OURSELVES BY PICKING. PEOPLE WE FEEL WE ARE WORTHY OF.  IF OUR SELF-WORTH OR WORTHINESS IS AFFECTED, THAN SO ARE THE PEOPLE WE CHOOSE TO BE AROUND AND THE QUALITY OF THESE INDIVIDUALS.  LET US TAKE A LOOK AT WORTHINESS IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY. 

WEBSTER DICTIONARY MEANING OF WORTHINESS-1.  THE QUALITY OF BEING GOOD ENOUGH, SUITABILITY.  2.  THE QUALITY OF DESERVING RESPECT OR ATTENTION.

DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF WORTHINESS-1.  A QUALITY WHICH DETERMINES WHAT WE VIEW AS WORTHY INCLUDING OURSELVES AND OTHERS.  WORTHINESS CAN BE A MAKE OR BREAK QUALITY BECAUSE IT FACTORS IN HOW WE TREAT OTHERS AND MORESO, OURSELVES. 

WORTHINESS IS SOMETHING THAT MAY REQUIRE GETTING PROFESSIONAL HELP FOR TO DIG IN AND FIND OUT WHY WE DON’T FEEL WORTHY OR PERHAPS WE FEEL TOO WORTHY WHICH CAN HAVE THE OPPOSITE REACTION FROM OURSELVES.  IF WE FEEL OUR SELF-WORTH IS MORESO THAN ANOTHER, WE MAY TREAT OTHER INDIVIDUALS WITH LITTLE OR NO RESPECT WHEN WE FEEL IN SOME WAY WE ARE BETTER THAN THEM.  THIS CAN ALSO BE A PROBLEM WE WON’T FULLY GET TO THE BOTTOM OF WITHOUT MUCH SELF-EXAMINATION.  WE DO NEED TO FOCUS ON GETTING THE PROFESSIONAL HELP WE NEED TO GET TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM IF WE FIND OURSELVES FEELING LESS THAN OR MORE THAN.  AGAIN, BALANCE AND EQUALITY OF OURSELVES WITHOUT THE NEED TO COMPARE OURSELVES TO OTHERS, ARE KEY IN DEVELOPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.  EVERYTHING NEEDS AN OUTLET AND THAT INCLUDES OUR WORTHINESS WHICH IS WHY WE DO SEE SOME EATING/CUTTING DISORDERS WHICH IS A FORM OF SELF-PUNISHMENT WHEN WE DON’T FEEL WORTHY OR PERHAPS FEEL GUILTY WHEN WE MISTREAT OTHERS, SO WE MISTREAT OURSELVES TO BALANCE THIS FEELING OUT, OFTEN TIMES IN AN UNHEALTHY MANNER.  THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING ABOUT WORTHINESS TODAY.  SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM

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SELF-SABOTAGING: MORE COMMON THAN YOU THINK

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Self-Sabotaging is more common than most of us think.  In fact, statistics show many of us self-sabotage and aren’t even aware we are doing it.  What exactly does self-sabotaging mean?  The dictionary describes it as this:  Webster Dictionary Meaning:  the sabotaging, whether consciously or subconsciously, of oneself.  Daily Wisdom Words Definition-to destroy or corrupt oneself by hurting our own success.  We often self-sabotage whether we are aware of it or not, by destroying their best interests at heart.  They destroy their own success  through dysfunctional and distorted beliefs that lead them to underestimate their capabilities, suppress their feelings, or lash out at those around them.  Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when we create problems in daily life and interfere with long standing goals.

The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting, or over-eating, or developing eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia according to an article in “Psychology Today”.  How do we stop self-sabotaging?  We all realize where we would like to go and have a pretty good idea of how to get there, but we procrastinate in various ways.  We will literally waste time with things we tell ourselves must be done consciously, when we are only creating the necessity to do them to self-sabotage our own goals.  There are five different ways to stop self sabotaging.  One is to go to seek professional help from psychologists, or counselors or psychiatrists, who specialize in behavior modification. I read an article written by Andrea Bonior Ph.D who has suggested stopping the following behaviors.

The if-only fantasy is one of her five reasons we self-sabotage and do it so effectively.  We think to ourselves, if only I were in a different financial situation I would finish college.  “if only” my partner could change his behavior our relationship would work.  Notice the examples she uses are ones that we have no control over changing, so in this sense we destroy meeting our best self and executing our set goals.  We can try to fix this by changing our thinking and saying to ourselves, “X is this way and Y is that way” accepting that certain things can’t be changed and that we can’t undo our past but we can change our present and future.  What is more effective according to Andrea Bonior Ph.D, is to “define your shine”.  another way we sabotage our success is being afraid of our own thoughts.  When we suppress thoughts, we give them more power to control us, and they do.  We make excuses for these thoughts rather than process them.  We need to acknowledge our thoughts and face them, therefore addressing them and processing them appropriately.  

Another way we sabotage ourselves is by burying our feelings. We often, due to fear, don’t allow our feelings to be processed accordingly.  Sometimes we bury our feelings out of guilt, and sometimes out of fear of what we may do.  To feel angry about a situation, is very different than acting on your emotions unleashing them on the world.  Feelings, when hidden corrode us from the inside out, thereby causing chaos and destruction.  Acknowledging your feelings doesn’t make them spin out of control.  Putting a lid on your feelings does.

Another way we sabotage ourselves is “habitually starting tomorrow”.  We eat too much one day and tell ourselves, tomorrow we will start over with a clean slate.  Why not, after realizing what we did do we not state a clean slate in 15 minutes?  The longer we wait to start change, the longer it won’t start.  

Yet another way, we self-destruct is by letting inertia harm us rather than help us.  The more we stay on target with our goals, whatever they are, the easier it is to set permanent patterns.  If we buy new gym pants, don’t focus so much on the pants.  They may never get worn.  Focus on the workout itself.  Inertia can be positive or negative.  I am sure you have heard the saying, “a body in motion stays in motion.”  This is inertia working for us.  Obviously, the opposite, never moving, is inertia working against us.  

Join Daily Wisdom Words, a full access writing community and if you participate, by reading the articles, doing our live prompts and taking advantage of your free counseling as well as your own advertising page, a social media page we give to all writers, YOU WILL BECOME A BETTER WRITER.  This article on self-sabotaging, only taking some of its advice gets you one step closer.  Thanks for reading!  Samantha LeBoeuf

 

 

 

SELF-HARM & CUTTING – REVISED

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“‘See no scars.’ But it’s all lies. They only check wrists…not thighs.”
-Unknown

Today happens to be a very special day for me. Not because it’s St. Patrick’s Day although admittedly, its modern day traditions of wearing green, parades, etc do indeed hold a fascination for me.

But as most of the world celebrates the inclusion of Christianity in Ireland (and perhaps pinch a friend or two in jest who is not wearing green) I’m celebrating something else: It’s been one whole year since I last cut myself.

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Self-Harm & Cutting

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“One cut here, one cut there. No one will see, no one will care.”
-Unknown

One of the most hazardous symptoms of mental illnesses is self-harming.

And to narrow it down even further, the most common form of self-harm, especially in younger people, is cutting.

During my high school and college years, I knew a few people who were cutters.

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why someone would intentionally do something so abhorrent to their own body.

That is until I was diagnosed with depression and found the emotional pain so overwhelming at times that the only thing that seemed to alleviate it was physical pain.

It was like choosing between the lesser of two evils. The physical pain not only made me momentarily forget the neurological pain but it was also easier to treat by popping an aspirin in comparison to my prescription medication for depression which seemed to take forever to take effect.

I learned three things for a full year that I did it.

Firstly, it dawned on me that the trauma of a mental illness can indeed be so strong that it leaves you desperate to try anything to stop it, even hurt yourself more.

Secondly, cutting is just like a zillion other drugs. It can work initially until you become immune to it and have to do it more and more.

Before you know it, all you’re left with is scars on your body and even more trauma than before, both physical as well as psychological.

Lastly, as ironic as it may seem, self-harm is also a form of self-medicating which is never a good idea. Some people drink. Some take street drugs. Others cut themselves.

All of these methods are utilized in order to have a “quick fix” for mental health issues. In reality, there is no quick fix. It takes a lot of time to get it under control and self-medicating just stunts any possible progress.

That’s why it’s always better to consult a professional before medicating yourself in any way.

Have you ever known someone to self-harm themselves? Have you ever been tempted to self-medicate yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below.