TODAY’S DAILY WISDOM WORD IS: DISAPPOINTMENTS. WE ALL FEEL DISAPPOINTED FROM TIME TO TIME. THE FEELING OF BEING DISAPPOINTED USUALLY COMES FROM DISPLEASURE IN OURSELVES FOR FAILING AT AN EXPECTATION WE HAVE. IF YOU ASK MOST OF US, WE WOULD ANSWER THAT WE GET DISAPPOINTED WITH OURSELVES BASED ON GOALS OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS THAT WE DID NOT ACHIEVE. WE WILL TALK about being disappointed in ourselves and in others.
Prior to this let us take a look at the meaning of disappointments, both in the Webster Dictionary and our daily wisdom words meaning for disappointments.
Webster definition of disappointments-The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.
Daily Wisdom Words definition of disappointments- a feeling resulting from failed expectations we have when we don’t achieve a goal or hope set or failed expectations we have when others let us down.
As I mentioned above, for most of us the feeling of disappointment is caused more often by our expectations we have for ourselves. The first thing we must do to avoid that feeling is set realistic goals we set for ourselves.
For example, Sally wants to lose 100 pounds. She sets out determined, but is an emotional eater. within a month, she loses ten of these pounds. Then, she is called into her bosses office at work. He tells her due to low sales records for the year they must lay off a number of employees. Sally in one of them. She “feels” awful. the previous week, what she wasn’t aware of was her immediate boss left the company because he too, was a part of the layoff. Sally had applied for his position, “assuming” he quit.
What lessons can we learn about expectations in Sally’s brief example? First, we must learn we set a goal not preparing ourselves of unexpected consequences. There are many things in life that happen we simply do not have control over. We also “expected” we also set our expectation over something we did not investigate to get all the facts. Because Sally is an “emotional eater” and has set such a lofty goal of losing 100 lbs,, when she arrives home, the first thing she does is dig into unhealthy foods and overeat.
Because of her “expectations” that feeling of disappointment overtakes her logistical thinking about weight loss. She gained five pounds back of the ten pounds lost within a week. This happens due to failed expectations and setting a goal way above a more reasonable one. She feels hopeless, (yes, another emotion), and is now disappointed in herself about losing her job, and regaining the weight. We can continue to feel this way for a lifetime. Why? Our goals are too lofty and our expectations in others, (we don’t control other people), too much. Failed expectations also come from assumptions rather than getting answers to clarify expectations with ourselves and others.
Expectations with others is the second reason we feel disappointed. It is sad and I have had to realize myself time and time again, we simply do not control others and their actions. Thinking in any way that we can or do, results in failed expectations.
What expectations do you have in yourself that will result in disappointment from outside circumstances? I want us all to think about this. Often, when we feel disappointed in others by getting to the root cause of our reason we are actually disappointed in ourselves. How do we change what we do expect from ourselves and others? First, we set goals that are reasonable. Losing 100 pounds is not impossible but must be done in increments, setting smaller goals throughout to achieve the end results. We also should prepare ourselves that we may fall from grace by our own expectations. When setting any kind of goal, be realistic. If it is too lofty, break your gaol up into reasonable, smaller goals. The end result is likely to be successful.
We should always set goals for ourselves within reaching distance. This means goal setting that is realistic and accomplished with small goals over time. Our disappointment in others results from a false illusion we can control others actions. We can’t and we need to stop wasting our time trying to.
We all feel disappointed in ourselves from time to time. Ask yourself the following questions today and leave me a comment in the “join the discussion” area beneath the post. Are the expectations you set for yourself too lofty? Are you controlled by emotion? What can we do to stop feeling so disappointed?
Again, I have given you additional questions I want to hear your ideas about. Do you agree with this post or disagree? If you have a thought or idea that will help us cope with our disappointments in ourselves or others, that is greatly appreciated.
The following is ten reason why you should join our writing community. Beneath this, is the “join the discussion” area to share your comments. Joining daily wisdom words is easy. Right now it is the most cost effective way I know of to improve our writing skills. I have written my first book, and will start a second soon. However, right now would not be the best time for me to start the book. I have too many disappointments in myself that I failed my little sister. Our writing begins with our thoughts. It is just $10 right now to join dailywisdomwords.com for a lifetime. the articles, suggestions and poetry shared on this website are how you can begin to take control of your expectations and disappointment in yourself. Thanks so much for reading, Samantha Leboeuf
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Very wise words, Samantha. Thanks. I know I would be happier if I lower my expectations of others. Nothing in life is a given.