OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS SECRETS. THE SECRETS WE HAVE, ARE OFTEN KEPT TO OURSELF. SOMETIMES, IN OUR PAST, WE HAVE TRUSTED SOMEONE WHO PROMISED TO KEEP ONE WE HAD. A SECRET CAN BE PERSONAL AND SOMETIMES HARD TO KEEP TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO SHARE IT FOR ONE’S SAFETY.
SECRETS THAT ARE HURTING SOMEONE WHEN IT MIGHT BE IN THEIR BEST INTEREST TO SHARE, FOR EXAMPLE, A VIOLATION TO A MINOR, FOR EXAMPLE ARE THE HARDEST ONES TO HEAR AND KEEP. WE THINK THAT WE ARE A CUSTODIAN OF SORTS AND SHOULD DO WHAT WE FEEL IS BEST. BEFORE GIVING UP SOMEONE ELSES SECRET, I HAVE LEARNED TO TRY CONVINCING THIS PERSON IF THEY ARE UNDERAGE, THIS KIND OF SECRET IS OFTEN YOU FEEL NECESSARY TO REPORT OR SHARE IT WITH THE PROPER AUTHORITIES. BEFORE WE GO FURTHER, LET’S TAKE A LOOK A THE MEANING OF SECRETS IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND THE DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION.
WEBSTER DEFINITION OF SECRETS-1. NOT KNOWN OR SEEN, OR MEANT TO BE KNOWN OR SEEN BY OTHERS. 2. SOMETHING THAT IS KEPT OR KNOWN NOT PROPERLY UNDERSTOOD; A MYSTERY.
DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF SECRETS-1. THOSE THINGS OR EVENTS THAT OCCUR IN ONE’S LIFE NEVER MEANT TO BE HEARD OR SHARED.
SECRETS CAN BE SOME THING ONE NEVER EVER REPEATS TO ANYONE. SOMETIMES SECRETS KEPT ARE ONES THAT CAUSE PERSONAL DAMAGE, PAIN, EMBARRASSMENT AND TRAUMA. WHAT IS A SACRED SECRET TO ONE TYPE OF PERSONALITY, MAY NOT BE A SECRET KEPT BY A PERSON EXTROVERTED. ONES PERSONALITY AND AGE SOMETIMES PLAY A ROLE IN A SECRET. I HAVE OFTEN BEEN TOLD ONES SECRETS. I AM VERY TRUSTWORTHY. EVER SHARED WITH ANOTHER. I DO PRIDE MYSELF ON BEING ABLE TO KEEP ONES SECRETS.
I HAVE SECRETS MYSELF THAT NOT ONE KNOWS. IF YOU KNOW ME, I SEEM TO BE AN EXTROVERT SO YOU MIGHT MISJUDGE ME ASSUMING I WOULD SHARE MY SECRETS.
HOWEVER, THERE ARE MANY THINGS I KEEP PRIVATE WHICH MAKES ME AN INTROVERT. SOMETIMES, IT MAY BE VERY DIFFICULT TO KEEP ONES SECRET WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT THEM, IN THIS CASE SOMETHING PRIVATE A MINOR TELLS YOU. YOU WANT TO HELP THEM AND ALSO DO THE RIGHT THING. YOU CAN’T PROVIDE THE HELP THEY MAY NEED. BECAUSE THIS PERSON IS UNDERAGE, YOU WANT TO PROTECT THEM, THIS MAKES THE SECRET DIFFICULT TO KEEP. I LOST ALL TRUST FROM HER, CAUSING A PERMANENT RIFT BETWEEN US.
SHE WAS A MINOR AT THE TIME SHE SHARED IT. IN THIS CASE, THIS PERSON WAS WAS A MINOR, IT WAS MY JUDGEMENT THIS SECRET INVOLVING MOLESTATION SHOULD BE SHARED WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS QUALIFIED TO HELP.
SHE NEEDED TO COPE AND DEAL WITH THIS FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. SHE HAD KEPT IT SECRET FROM EVERYONE SO I DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST. THIS MUCH YOUNGER PERSON THEN FELT VIOLATED. THEY DIDN’T OPEN UP OR GET ANYWHERE WITH THE THERAPIST I TOLD. I SHARED IT W/ HER PARENTS IN HOPES OF HELPING HER. AFTER THIS, THE TRUST IN ME FROM HER WAS GONEI. IT PERMANENTLY DAMAGED THE RELATIONSHIP.
I STILL DEBATE WHAT WAS RIGHT OR WRONG TO THIS DAY. I FELT SHE SIMPLY WAS NOT QUALIFIED TO DECIDE TO GET HELP. I LEARNED TWO THINGS FROM THIS: `
1. NO MATTER THE AGE OR WHY YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE, IT IS ALWAYS REMEMBERED.
2. EVEN IF WE DECIDE ONES SECRET SHOULD BE TOLD AS WE THINK IT ENDANGERS THEM, WE TAKE A RISK, LOSING FUTURE TRUST. THIS MAKES IT DIFFICULT. YOU MAY FIND FORGIVENESS OR TRUST THEY HAD, GONE. MOVING PAST THIS, DESPITE MY MOTIVATION, IN THIS CASE IT SEEMS I DID THE WRONG THING FOR HER, REGARDLESS OF MY INTENTIONS.
SHE WAS COMPLETELY SHUT DOWN. I WAS NEVER ABLE TO BE HER CONFIDANT AGAIN AFTER THAT. I DID DECIDE TO SHARE THIS SECRET, FEELING IT NECESSARY. I DECIDED FOR HER THE SECRET SHOULD COME OUT.
PERHAPS IT WAS NOT MY JUDGEMENT CALL TO TELL SOMEONE HER SECRET. IN FACT, I COULD HAVE ENCOURAGED HER TO SHARE HER SECRET TO THE RIGHT AUTHORITIES AND THERAPIST. I DON’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.
SOMETIMES, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS A NEW TEENAGER IS SO HARD TO KEEP ING WHEN I FELT WAS NOT IN HER BEST INTEREST TOO KEEP THIS SECRET.
IF YOU REMEMBER NOTHING IN THIS POST BUT ONE THING, REMEMBER THIS: TRUSTING AND CONFIDING IN SOMEONE IS A CHOICE. IF WE CHOOSE TO DECIDE FOR THE PERSON ON THEIR BEHALF. HOWEVER, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE SHARE IT? YOU RISK YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND PRECIOUS TRUST YOU SHARED WITH THEM. THEREFORE, THEY MOST LIKELY NEVER TRUST ME AGAIN.
IS THIS SOMETHING YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN A RISK ON BREAKING ONES TRUST? DO YOU FEEL ONES AGE SHOULD PLAY A ROLE WHEN CONSIDERING WHAT TO DO? IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. PLEASE POST COMMENTS BENEATH THE POST IN THE “JOIN THE DISCUSSION AREA.” WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE THE ONE HOLDING THIS SECRET? I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. THANKS FOR READING TODAY! SAMANTHA
OTHER DAILY WISDOM WORDS RELATED YOU MAY WISH TO READ: http://dailywisdomwords.com/daily-wisdom-words/trust/
DO YOU BELONG TO AN ONLINE WRITING COMMUNITY? DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM IS ONE THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE SUPPORT NEEDED TO BE THE BEST WRITER YOU CAN BE. ALL KINDS OF WRITERS BELONG, AND LEARN FROM OTHERS. FOR $10 PER DAY, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?
Secrets can be devastating when revealed and surfaced. Especially when children are in the mix. I had a child ask me why her mother was sick one time. It was not my place to tell her so I called her father, who I begged to tell please let her know the truth before she found out the wrong way by someone else who would fill his child’s head with information that wasn’t true. He insisted there wasn’t nothing wrong and it wasn’t time yet. So, I sat the child down and told her. As parents we think we are protecting our kids and perhaps ourselves sometimes by keeping certain things. As children grow they realize when things aren’t right or something is wrong. It was not my place to tell this child about her parents, that was their secret and their job. Had I not told her the truth and she went elsewhere asking questions what kind of lies would be told to her? It bothered me she was a child and her father knew she was seeking answers but, he avoided answering. It took her awhile to understand and for her dad to forgive me. But, we have to understand people are mean when it comes to certain things they don’t understand and are afraid of. Kids are clever and ask questions. We can love someone with our hearts and souls but, we can’t always protect them from life.