CHILDREN

WHEN I THINK OF THE HOLIDAYS, I THINK OF OUR CHILDREN.  MY CHILDREN, NOW GROWN, PROVIDED SUCH HOLIDAY SPIRIT IN THEIR EYES OF INNOCENCE WHEN LITTLE  CHILDREN ARE THE ESSENCE OF INNOCENCE AND THEY ARE FREE IN SOUL, MIND AND SPIRIT.  GOD’S LIGHT SHINES WITHIN THEM GIVING THEM A NATURAL GLOW AND HAPPINESS.  DESPITE BEING GROWN, WE CAN STILL BE A PART OF OUR OWN CHILDREN’S LIVES DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON THROUGH THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR THEM, GROWN OR NOT.  OUR CHILDREN LIVE ON IN THEIR CHILDREN, OUR GRANDCHILDREN.  WE MAY BE SAD SOMETIMES OUR CHILDREN GROW UP, AND WISH WE COULD DO SOME THINGS DIFFERENTLY WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER BUT  WE DON’T GET A DO OVER IN LIFE.  SADLY, WE CAN’T GO BACK.  OUR CHILDREN BECOME ADULTS AND THEY HAVE OPINIONS, FAMILIES, AND THINK FOR THEMSELVES.  THE ABILITY TO GUIDE AND INFLUENCE THEM HAS PASSED, ALONG WITH THEIR CHILDHOOD. 

SOME CHILDREN ARE STUBBORN ADULTS AND INSTEAD OF FIGHTING THEM WHEN THEY FEEL PASSIONATE ABOUT SOMETHING, SOME THINGS ARE BEST LEFT ALONE.  DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON, EVERY OTHER YEAR, CHRISTMAS IS SPENT WITH MY DAUGHTER.  SINCE MY SON NOW HAS HIS OWN HOME AND IS MARRIED, MY DAUGHTER WISHES TO STAY WITH HIM.  I ASKED HER TO STAY ONE OF HER NIGHTS HERE, BUT SHE HAS MADE A DECISION AND DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE TO MOVE MY GRANDSON AND HIS THINGS EVERYWHERE. IF FIGHT HER ABOUT STAYING HERE SHE STILL WON’T.  I ALWAYS FEEL SHE HAS STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT HER DECISIONS.  I DO MY BEST NOT TO INTERNALIZE HER DECISIONS BUT IT DOES ALLOW FOR LESS TIME WITH HER AND MY GRANDSON AS I’VE ALREADY SEEN DURING A PREVIOUS VISIT. WHAT IS THE ANSWER FOR THESE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS OR PREDICAMENTS WE FIND OURSELVES IN?  SOMETIMES THE BEST WE CAN DO IS LET GO OF FIGHTING WITH OUR CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE GROWN.  BY LETTING GO, I FIND MORE PEACE WITHIN.  YES, INSIDE I AM SAD, BUT ACCEPTANCE IS ONE THING I CAN PRACTICE, CREATING PEACE WITH ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. 

I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE TIME WE WILL GET WITH HER.  MY SON AND HIS WIFE IRONICALLY WILL STAY HERE CHRISTMAS EVE ALONG WITH MY MOTHER.  THE RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CHILDREN WHEN GROWN CAN BE MODIFIED, BUT DEPENDING ON THEIR PERSONALITY AND OURS, WE CAN’T CHANGE “WHAT IS” WHEN THEY HAVE MADE A DECISION.  THEY AFTER ALL ARE ADULTS THEMSELVES.  WE ENJOY THE TIME WE DO SHARE AND MAKE THE BEST OF THE TIME WE WILL GET TO SPEND HER AND HER FAMILY. 

MY DAUGHTER IS A WONDERFUL PERSON, AND IN MANY WAYS, SHE SUFFERED THE MOST IN HER CHILDHOOD WITH THE EFFECTS OF A MOTHER IN HORRIFIC PAIN ON STRONG MEDICATIONS.   DURING MY DISEASE, SHE LIVED WITH IT AS WELL. THE EFFECTS OF THE STRONG MEDICATIONS I WAS ON WHILE SHE WAS GROWING UP DID NOT BENEFIT HER AS A YOUNG TEEN OR THE DECISIONS I MADE AS HER MOTHER.  I KEEP THIS IN MIND WHEN I FIND MYSELF UPSET.  INTERACTING  WITH OUR GROWN CHILD AS A CHILD OURSELVES NEVER WORKS. 

THE HOLIDAYS CAN BE STRESSFUL OR BEAUTIFUL, AND SHOULD BE TREASURED NOW MORE THAN EVER SINCE WE ARE DEALING WITH A PANDEMIC AND SOCIAL DISTANCING.  I LEAVE THIS YEAR BEHIND WITH SADNESS OVER THE LOSS OF FAMILY MEMBERS AND THE PAIN WE SEE THROUGHOUT LIFE.  THERE HOWEVER IS ALSO SO MUCH BEAUTY TO SEE OFTEN OVERLOOKED.  IT IS ALL IN OUR PERSPECTIVE CHOSEN TO LOOK AT EVERYTHING.  WISHING YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES THE BLESSINGS AND MIRACLES A HOLIDAY SEASON HOLDS. 

MUCH LOVE, SAMANTHA LEBOEUF

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