VULNERABILITY IS A DEEPLY SEEDED EMOTIONAL RESPONSE WE ALL EXPERIENCE IF WE ALLOW OURSELF TO BE IN TOUCH WITH OUR AUTHENTICITY. THE BIGGEST MISNOMER ABOUT VULNERABILITY IS IT IS OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR WEAKNESS. IN FACT, PEOPLE THAT ALLOW THEMSELVES TO SHARE IT WITH OTHERS AND FEELING IT ARE VERY COURAGEOUS. IT ISN’T ALWAYS EASY TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO BE EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY VULNE RABLE TO OTHERS CLOSE TO OUR HEART. WE ARE SHARING OUR VERY ESSENCE OF BEING, NOT OUR IDEAL SELF THE EGO PERCEIVES BUT OUR AUTHENTIC SELF. OUR “AUTHENTIC SELF IS SIMPLY WHO WE REALLY ARE WHEN WE STRIP AWAY FAKE PERSONA. WE SHARE FULLY WITH A LOVED ONE(S) WHO WE ARE, BOTH STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES.
VULNERABILITY IS A SIGN OF SELF-CONFIDENCE AND FEELING SAFE TO SHARE YOUR AUTHENTICITY WITH ANOTHER. THOSE OF US CAPABLE OF BEING MOST VULNERABLE ARE ACTUALLY IN BETTER EMOTIONAL HEALTH THAN THOSE WHO ARE FEARFUL TO SHARE AN END UP SHARING IT IN ANOTHER WAY WHICH ISN’T BEST FOR OUR HIGHEST SELF. UNDERNEATH THE FEAR WE CREATE WHICH DOES NOT ALLOW US TO FEEL SAFE TO SHARE OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES IS PAIN AND BETRAYAL IN PAST RELATIONSHIPS. IF WE HAD HEALED FROM THIS TRAUMA, WE WOULD BE CAPABLE ENOUGH TO SHARE, ALLOWING OURSELVES TO SHARE THIS VULNERABILITY AND LOVE FULLY AGAIN.
BABIES ARE EXTREMELY VULNERABLE WHEN THEY ARE BORN RELYING ON A CARE-GIVER TO FEED THEM, CLOTHE AND LOVE THEM. WE NEED TO BE HEALTHY INSIDE TO SHARE WHO WE ARE AND TRUST ANOTHER TO SHARE WHO WE ARE. IN ORDER TO GROW. IF WE HAVE BEEN NEGLECTED OR ABANDONED IN SOME WAY DURING OUR FORMATIVE YEARS, (0-3 YEARS OLD), THE EFFECTS CAN BE DETRIMENTAL TO OUR PERSONALITY AND ABILITY TO BE INTIMATE AND SHARE VULNERABILITIES WITH TRUSTED INDIVIDUALS. “TO SHARE OURSELF INTIMATELY WITH ANOTHER, TAKES COURAGE AND STRENGTH.”
IF WE HAVE BEEN HURT IN A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP IN SOME WAY, OR WE WERE NEVER EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE OURSELVES, THEN WE NEVER REALLY ALLOWED OURSELVES THE ABILITY TO TRULY LOVE SOMEONE. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REASONS WE SHOULD NOT JUMP FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP WHERE SOMEONE HAS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF US OR OUR TRUST WITH THEM WAS COMPROMISED, WITHOUT TIME TO HEAL, WE WILL SIMPLY CARRY THIS INTO THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP. IF WE BLAME OURSELVES FOR BROKEN TRUST, WE ARE MORE LIKELY TO FIND SOMEONE WHO ENDS UP BEING EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE OR ABUSIVE. THIS IS BECAUSE WE DID NOT GIVE OURSELF PERMISSION TO HEAL OR DIDN’T TAKE THE NECESSARY TIME ALONE WE NEEDED TO RECOVER. VULNERABILITY IS AN EXPRESSION OF WEAKNESS TO SOME INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE NOT HEALTHY EMOTIONALLY. WHY WOULD WE CHOOSE THIS KIND OF PERSON? WHY WOULD WE FIND IT NECESSARY TO SET OURSELVES UP FOR PAIN IN THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP?
IF WE HURT ANOTHER PERSON BY BETRAYING THEIR TRUST IT MANIFESTS IN SOME WAY WITHIN US. SOMETIMES, WHEN WE DON’T MAKE AMENDS WBY FORGIVING OTHERS FOR MAKING MISTAKES, WE WILL END UP HURTING OURSELF. THE UNRESOLVED ISSUES ARE CARRIED FORWARD AND MANIFEST THEMSELVES IN VARIOUS WAYS. THE MOST COMMON WAY WE EXPRESS OURSELVES, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS OURSELVES WHO WE NEED TO FORGIVE IS EXHIBITED IN OUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP AS “ROLE SWITCHING”. INSTEAD OF BEING THE ONE WHO HURTS THE OTHER PERSON IN OUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP, WE END UP PICKING SOMEONE WHO WILL HURT US. WE WILL BECOME THE VICTIM INSTEAD OF THE TRANSGRESSOR. THIS IS WHY TAKING TIME TO HEAL AND FORGIVE THE ONES WHO HURT US OR FORGIVE OURSELVES IS CRUCIAL TO BECOME EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY. WITHOUT DOING THIS WORK AND MENDING OURSELVES EMOTIONALLY, AS WELL AS TIME TO HEAL BEFORE JUMPING INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP, WE SIMPLY CARRY OUR PAST PROBLEMS INTO OUR PRESENT RETIONSHIP REPEATING THE SAME PATTERN OVER AND OVER. THERE IS ALMOST A GAURANTEE WE WILL NOT CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO TREATS US PROPERLY, OR WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FULLY LOVE AND CARE ABOUT THEM.
AS MENTIONED, WE DO NOT ALLOW OURSELVES TIME TO HEAL OR FORGIVE OURSELVES FOR PAST TRANSGRESSIONS BEFORE MOVING INTO ANOTHER EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP. WE CAN THEN BE VULNERABLE WITH SOMEONE WE TRUST ONCE AGAIN. WHEN WE TO ANOTHER IS WE DON’T ALLOW OURSELVES TO HEAL EMOTIONALLY. THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER IF OUR TRUST HAS BEEN VIOLATED IN SOME WAY. AFTER GETTING OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS UNSTABLE OR A RELATIONSHIP WHICH WE DON’T FEEL SAFE BEING VULNERABLE, WE EVENTUALLY BUILD WALLS AROUND OUR DEEPEST EMOTIONS. VULNERABILITY IS COURAGEOUS, BUT IF SOMEONE WE LOVE USES OUR VULNERABILITY TO HURT US, WE WILL NOT BE SO EASY TO SHARE THIS VULNERABILITY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, VULNERABILITY IS ABOUT SHARING OUR AUTHENTIC SELF. IF YOU WISH TO BE WHO YOU PICTURE YOUR IDEAL SELF, IT TAKES WORK, CONFIDENCE AND AUTHENTICITY. “TODAY YOU MAY FEEL BROKEN BUT WITH TIME AND EMOTIONAL HEALING, WILL HAVE THE CAPACITY TO HEAL, REPAIRING THE FULL PICTURE”. SL
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