Anger

FINALITY

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OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “FINALITY”.  THERE ARE THINGS WE EXPERIENCE IN A LIFETIME THAT WE CAN’T CONTROL.  WE DON’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE, FOR EXAMPLE.  WE CAN SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THEM BUT ULTIMATELY, IT IS THEIR CHOICE TO DECIDE IF THEY FOLLOW THAT EXAMPLE.  WE CAN GIVE ADVICE, BUT ULTIMATELY THE DECISION MADE IS IN THAT PERSON’S HANDS.  WHAT WE DO HOLD CONTROL OVER IS OUR OWN CHOICES.  WE WILL HAVE NEGATIVITY TO DEAL WITH DURING LIFE, AS WELL AS PAIN. 

WE CAN CHOOSE TO FEEL THE PAIN, AND LOOK FOR THE GOOD FOUND WITH ANOTHER BUT WE CANNOT BE FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOMES OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS.  WHETHER IT IS OUR CHILDREN, OUR FRIENDSHIPS OR EVEN OUR FUTURE, WE CAN GUIDE WHAT WHAT WE WANT TO HAPPEN, AND STILL HAVE UNEXPECTED TURBULENCE FROM OUTSIDE EVENTS WE SIMPLY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. 

LIFE IS SHORT.  ONE OF THE EXPERIENCES WE MUST FACE IS FINALLY ACCEPTING FINALITY WHEN OTHERS ARE INVOLVED OR THEY DECIDE TO EXIT OUR LIFE.  SOMETIMES IT MUST BE US THAT ACCEPTS FINALITY.  IF A RELATIONSHIP CAUSES US PAIN AND IS UNHEALTHY, OR SOMEHOW IS HURTING US MORE THAN HELPING US IT MAY BE TIME TO ACCEPT THE FINALITY OF A SITUATION.  IT HURTS IN LIFE WHEN WE LOSE PEOPLE WE LOVE WHETHER IT BE BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO GO, OR GOD CALLS THEM HOME.   WE DEAL WITH A SERIES OF STAGES TO GO THROUGH ANY HEALING PROCESS.  FIRST, WE ARE IN DENIAL.  NEXT COMES ANGER.  AFTER THIS, WE FEEL IMMENSE SADNESS, AND FINALLY WE ACCEPT WHAT IS OR THE LOSS OF SOMEONE WE LOVE FROM OUR LIFE. 

WHAT WE MUST DO, IS  LET GO OF THE ANGER STAGE.  WE FEEL ANGER AND THIS HELPS GIVE US STRENGTH, OR SO WE THINK, BUT ULTIMATELY IT STOPS US FROM GETTING TO THE NEXT STAGE WE NEED TO DEAL WITH TO GET TO FINALITY OR ACCEPTANCE. ANGER OVER TIME, HURTS US MORE ANYTHING.  ANGER IS LIKE A VIRUS SPREADING IN THE BODY. ANGER CAN EAT AWAY OUR LOVE FOR OTHERS INDIRECTLY CAUSING US DAMAGE IN THE RELATIONSHIPS WE STILL HAVE IN OUR LIFE.  WE  OFTEN FEEL IT IS EASIER TO STAY IN THIS STAGE TO AVOID FEELING THE NEXT STAGE WHICH IS HURT, SADNESS AND PAIN.  THIS IS WHY IT IS HARD TO GET PAST ANGER AND MOVE ON LEARNING TO COPE WITH THE SADNESS OF LOSS OF ANY KIND. 

ONCE WE REALIZE AND FEEL THIS LOSS, IT ALLOWS US TO MOVE ON TO THE FINAL STAGE, ACCEPTANCE.  WHEN WE ACCEPT THE LOSS, WE THEN BEGIN TO HEAL.  YES, THE PAIN AND MISSING THEM WILL HURT STILL, BUT THE TIMES WE SHARED AND THE LESSONS LEARNED WE LEARN TO FOCUS ON.  WE REMAIN ULTIMATELY AT A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE AND FINALITY. FINALITY CAN BE HARD WITH ANYTHING. 

SOMETIMES WE FEEL RELIEF WITH FINALITY, BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WE FEEL THE LOSS.  I WISH THIS WERE MORE ABOUT SOLUTIONS BUT WE MUST EXPERIENCE ANGER TO GET TO SADNESS, AND THEN ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO.  FINALITY WITH ANYTHING WHICH BROUGHT US HAPPINESS, HOWEVER LITTLE IT MAY HAVE BEEN, IS HARD TO ACCEPT, BUT IT IS IN ACCEPTANCE WE WILL BEGIN TO HEAL.  DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP YOU KNOW HAS REACHED ITS EXPIRATION DATE?  DO YOU FIND YOURSELF FULL OF ANGER AND SOMETIMES EVEN RAGE?  LIFE ISN’T FAIR AND SOMETIMES WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY WHEN A RELATIONSHIP ENDS OR TO BE HEALTHY, WE MUST LET GO OF IT. HOW DO WE HEAL?  LOVE FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL IN OUR LIFE BECOMES ABUNDANT LIKE A VACCINE OF SORTS JUST AS HATRED IS A VIRUS.  LOVE GROWS AND FILLS OUR HEART WITH JOY INSTEAD OF OUR HEAD IN ANGER AND HATE.  PART OF LIFE JUST LIKE A BEGINNING IS AN END.  FINALITY CAN BE WHAT IS NECESSARY TO DRAW HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR OURSELVES EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY.  THIS MAY MEAN LOSS, BUT IT ALSO MEANS FREEING UP SPACE WASTED IN TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS AND THEIR ACTIONS.  DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS?  DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE BEST WAY TO COPE WITH A PARTICULAR SITUATION ENDING?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW OR A QUESTION AND YOU WILL GET A RESPONSE.  I RESPOND TO MY QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS, EVEN IF IT TAKES A FEW DAYS.  THANKS FOR READING…IF YOU HAVE HELPFUL ADVICE, LEAVE IT IN THE “JOIN THE DISCUSSION” AREA BELOW THIS POST.  THANK YOU, SAMANTHA

 

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VIOLENCE “DOES THE BRAIN SHOW PREDISPOSITION OF VIOLENCE ?”

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OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD IS “VIOLENCE”.  OFTEN, VIOLENCE HAPPENS IN AN INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS WITNESSED VIOLENCE THEMSELVES.  THIS VIOLENCE IS IMPRINTED IN THE HUMAN MIND, SOMETIMES FROM MEMORIES, ONE HAS FROM CHILDHOOD, OR PERHAPS IN THEIR HOME ENVIRONMENT WHEN THEY WERE A CHILD.  WHEN I DECIDED TO MAKE OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD, VIOLENCE, I STARTED TO READ EVERYTHING I COULD FIND ABOUT VIOLENCE FROM CREDIBLE SOURCES.  ABOVE, I ASKED A QUESTION I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT AND THE ANSWER IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE. 

INTERESTINGLY, VIOLENT OR ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITIES DO HAVE CLEAR CHEMICAL MARKERS IN  THE BRAIN.  THERE WAS A STUDY DONE IN 2002  TESTING AGGRESSION IN HUMAN INTERACTION.  THE STUDY FOCUSED ON A PARTICULAR GENE, THE MONOAMINE OXIDASE GENE. THIS GENE ULTIMATELY CAUSES ADDITIONAL PRODUCTION OF SEROTONIN IN THE AMYGDALA, A PART OF THE BRAIN. 

THERE ARE TWO  PARTS OF OUR BRAIN ASSOCIATED WITH VIOLENCE AND AGGRESSION.  THE AMYGDALA, AS WELL AS THE PREFONTAL CORTEX.  THIS IS ONE KEY  WE USE TO EXPLAIN WHO WE ARE AS WELL AS OUR BEHAVIOR AND OUR ANGER LEVELS.  WITH STUDIES LIKE THIS, IT GIVES US THE KNOWLEDGE TO BE AWARE OF VIOLENCE, AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR, AND ANGER.  BY BEING AWARE OF WHAT CAUSES AGGRESSION AND VIOLENCE IN OTHERS, WE CAN AT LEAST UNDERSTAND THERE ARE FORCES AT PLAY WE DO NOT CONTROL. WITHOUT THERAPY OR MEDICATION AND COOPERATION FROM THE OTHER PERSON, THESE INDIVIDUALS WILL ALWAYS BE OVERLY AGGRESSIVE, AND POTENTIALLY VIOLENT.  EVIL IN ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITIES, AND PERSONALITIES THAT GET FRUSTRATED EASILY ALSO REACT POORLY.  THE AMYGDALA REGULATES SEROTONIN LEVELS AND SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE LOW IN CASES OF AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR OR VIOLENT TENDENCIES.  

 LEVELS OF FRUSTRATION ARE ANOTHER KEY THAT MAY LEAD TO VIOLENCE IN INDIVIDUALS.  EXAMPLES OF TRIGGERS CAUSING FRUSTRATION TO ELEVATE WOULD BE HOTTER TEMPERATURES, PAIN, AND INTERACTION WITH INDIVIDUALS THEY ARE IN A  RELATIONSHIP WITH WHERE THERE ARE HOSTILITY AND VOLATILITY.   THESE INDIVIDUALS MUST FEEL IN CONTROL OF THEIR ENVIRONMENT AND IMPLODE WHEN DEALING WITH ISSUES THEY DON’T CONTROL.  ANOTHER IMPORTANT FACTOR THAT SEEMS TO PLAY A KEY ROLE IN MOST CASES IS THE VIOLENCE STARTED AT HOME WHEN THESE INDIVIDUALS WERE CHILDREN THEMSELVES.  IN FACT, WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN, THE CHILD THAT WAS THE MOST HURTFUL AND MOST LIKELY WAS A BULLY HIMSELF.  IT IS OFTEN FOUND THAT THE VIOLENT ADULT WAS CREATED BY EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES AS WELL THAT OCCURRED AS A CHILD.  WHEN DO WE KNOW THAT SOMEONE WHO IS VIOLENT BECOMES DANGEROUS ESPECIALLY IF WE ARE ALREADY WITH THEM AND HAVE BEEN THROUGH YEARS OF THIS BEHAVIOR?  LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE WEBSTER MEANING AND DAILY WISDOM WORD MEANING OF “VIOLENCE”.  WEBSTER MEANING OF VIOLENCE-BEHAVIOR INVOLVING PHYSICAL FORCE INTENDING TO HURT OR HARM ANOTHER PERSON.

DAILY WISDOM WORD MEANING OF VIOLENCE- ONE WHO HAS ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES AND IS PREDISPOSED FROM A LACK OF SEROTONIN.  IT APPEARS VIOLENT INDIVIDUALS HAVE LITTLE ACTIVITY IN THE PREFRONTAL CORTEX AND AMYGDALA WHEREAS HEALTHY INDIVIDUALS  HAVE MUCH MORE ACTIVITY WITHIN THESE AREAS OF THE BRAIN.  

THIS PLACES A GREAT BURDEN ON THE INDIVIDUAL WHO IS A PARTNER TO SOMEONE THAT IS VIOLENT BECAUSE WE NEVER KNOW WHAT MAY SET THESE INDIVIDUALS OFF.  IF THEY DON’T GET HELP AND REMAIN WITH THE SAME PERSON, THERE IS NO “RESET” BUTTON.  VIOLENT PEOPLE HAVE THE BEST CONTROL OVER THEMSELVES IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP.  SADLY, IF ONE STAYS WITH THIS VIOLENT INDIVIDUAL, THEY WILL GET HURT.  IN PSYCHOLOGY, THIS IS REFERRED TO AS AN “ESCALATION PHASE”.  WHATEVER KIND OF ABUSE YOUR PARTNER IS COMFORTABLE WITH, YOU CAN EXPECT TO  GET AN ESCALATED VERSION OF IT.  

CAN ONE WHO HAS VIOLENT TENDENCIES OR ANGER MANAGEMENT CHANGE?   I FIND THAT CHANGE IS BEST ACCOMPLISHED WHEN ONE ADDRESSES THEIR ISSUES WITH VIOLENCE AND ANGER AND SEEKS HELP FOR THEMSELVES.  THEY ALSO WANT HELP FOR THEIR LOVED ONES AS THEY SEE HOW THEIR ANGER AFFECTS THEM.  THERE IS HOPE AND HELP OUT THERE, BUT IT TAKES HARD INTERNAL WORK FOR THESE CHANGES TO OCCUR.  MEDICATION, COGNITIVE THERAPY, GROUP THERAPY, SENSING WHEN ANGER IS BUILDING, AND TURNING TO A HEALTHY OUTLET TO RELEASE THESE FEELINGS BEFORE THEY ARE OUT OF CONTROL ARE JUST A FEW OPTIONS OUT THERE TO TREAT ANGER MANAGEMENT AND BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH GETTING THE KNOWLEDGE FOR THE ABOVE ARTICLE.  I  FEEL COMFORTABLE WRITING THIS BECAUSE MY WORDS ARE BASED ON RESEARCH I DID MYSELF.  I AM NOT A LICENSED THERAPIST BUT HAVE HAD ENOUGH TRAINING TO KNOW IF YOU ARE WITH SOMEONE WHO EXHIBITS VIOLENT TENDENCIES, AND DOES NOT WISH TO GET HELP FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF HIMSELF AND OTHERS, ONE DAY THE VIOLENCE COULD “SNAP”.  ANYTHING FURTHER THAN THIS I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WRITING ABOUT.  THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING THIS ARTICLE ON VIOLENCE.  IT IS A DIFFICULT DAILY WISDOM WORD TO WRITE ABOUT.  HOWEVER, CHANCE S ARE IN MY FAVOR OTHERS WILL READ THIS AND SOMEONE WILL GAIN ENOUGH INFORMATION TO STOP EITHER INTERACTING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS VIOLENT OR SOMEONE VIOLENT WILL GET HELP.  THE NUMBER TO THE NATIONAL ABUSE HOTLINE IS 1-800-799-SAFE.  

JOIN DAILY WISDOM WORDS, A WRITER’S COMMUNITY BASED ON THEORIES WE BELIEVE WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER WRITER.  WE HAVE DAILY LIVE PROMPTS FOR ALL WRITERS THAT ARE FUN AND ENLIGHTENING, A FULL MINI FACEBOOK APPLICATION, SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILE, AND ARTICLES DESIGNED TO EDUCATE, EXPAND YOUR CREATIVITY AND KEEP YOU MENTALLY HEALTHY.  WHY?  BECAUSE DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM BELIEVES WE WILL BE BETTER POETS, AUTHORS, SONGWRITERS, OR SHORT STORY WRITER IF WE ARE MENTALLY HEALTHY.  WE HAVE SEEN A DECLINE IN WRITER’S BLOCK ONLY SUPPORTING OUR THEORY.  WE DO OFFER MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING BY UNLICENCED MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATES WHO CAN DIRECT YOU TOWARDS HELP.  JOIN NOW, BEFORE WE START OUR MONTHLY DUES TO BE A PART OF THIS!  WRITERS AND POETS! GET YOUR ENTRIES IN FOR OUR SPRING INTERNATIONAL WRITERS CONTEST.  WE ARE ACCEPTING SHORT STORIES UP TO 400 WORDS, OR POEMS AS WE ALWAYS HAVE.   THE BEST WRITER WILL WIN!  THANKS SO MUCH!  TAKE A LOOK AT OUR NEW PODCAST!!  SAMANTHA LEBOEUF

FORGIVENESS “HAPPY EASTER”

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HAPPY EASTER, DAILY WISDOM WORD MEMBERS AND FRIENDS!  I COULDN’T THINK OF A BETTER DAILY DAILY WISDOM WORD TO CHOOSE THAN FORGIVENESS.  IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE SOMETIMES.  WE FIND IT ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT WHEN WE ARE THOUGHT OF OR ACCUSED OF SOMETHING WE HAVEN’T DONE OR AN EMPTY ACCUSATION.  ON THE OTHER HAND, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO MISTREAT US OR HAVE HURT US IN SOME WAY, SOMETIMES WITH EVENTS THEY CAUSED THAT ARE UNFORGIVABLE.  THERE IS AN OLD SAYING WHEN I FIND MYSELF ANGRY INSTEAD OF FORGIVING.  “THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO”.  I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER SPECIFICALLY WHERE I HEARD THIS FROM BUT KNOW I HAVE SAID IT MANY TIMES TO MYSELF.  I ALSO DO MY BEST TO DRAW LINES IN THE SAND OF WHAT I AM ACCOUNTABLE FOR AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS FROM OTHERS FOR THESE MISTAKES THAT HURT THEM.  

HONESTLY, I WOULD BE LYING IF I SAID IT WAS EASY FOR ME TO FORGIVE.  IF ANYTHING I FIND MYSELF FILLED WITH ANGER AND ANGST AND ILL THOUGHTS TOWARDS THE ONES WHO HURT ME.  I THEN SAY A PRAYER ASKING FOR THEIR HEALING OR SOMEHOW MINE.  WHAT MOST OF US DON’T REALIZE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE HURT INSIDE OVER SOMEONE WHO HAS IN SOME WAY HURT US.  WE  ARE ANGRY BECAUSE WE DON’T UNDERSTAND.  WHAT WE OFTEN DON’T REALIZE IS THIS ANGER, AND YES, SOMETIMES HATRED IF THE INDISCRETION IS A VERY DIFFICULT ONE TO FORGIVE INSIDE IF WE DO NOT EXERCISE THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS.  THAT IS RIGHT, IT HURTS US MORE INSIDE THATN IT HURTS THEM.  SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO FORGIVE ACTIONS SUCH AS HARMING US PHYSICALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, OR MENTALLY.  WHAT HAPPENS IS WE BEGIN TO FILL OURSELVES WITH HATRED AND ANGER, SPITE AND HURT? THIS LEAVES WITHIN US A BLACK SCAR THAT WE FEEL ALWAYS BY NOT LETTING GO OF WHATEVER THEY HAVE DONE.  

I OFTEN HEAR THINGS LIKE “THERE IS NO WAY SAMANTHA EVEN FOR MYSELF I COULD EVER FORGIVE WHO HAS HURT ME IN WAYS CLOSE TO MY HEART.”  HOWEVER,  WHEN WE FILL UP WITH ANGER, HURT, OR RESENTMENT WE LEAVE LESS ROOM FOR THE LOVE AND BEAUTY WE DESERVE BUT DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR.  BY FORGIVING THEIR ACTIONS,  THESE KINDS OF FEELINGS EVENTUALLY DISSIPATE.  I AM NOT SUGGESTING IF SOMEONE WHO CONTINUES TO HURT US OVER AND OVER WE STAY CONNECTED WITH THEM.  WHAT I AM SUGGESTING IS MOVING FORWARD WITH OUR LIFE AND FORGIVING THEM WITH EACH FORWARD STEP AWAY FROM THEM.  WE ONLY HURT OURSELVES.

FOR THOSE OF US WHO DO BELIEVE THAT JESUS ROSE ON EASTER AFTER HE WAS MURDERED IN A HORRIFIC WAY, REMEMBER THIS:  HE FORGAVE HIS TRUSPASSORS. A PRAYER I OFTEN SAY HAS A PASSAGE WITHIN IT, ASKING THE LORD TO “FORGIVE US FOR OUR OWN TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.”.   I FIND THIS ESPECIALLY COMFORTING, AND WHEN I’M FEELING HORRIDLY ANGRY, I REMEMBER THIS AND SAY THE FULL PRAYER OF FORGIVENESS TO MYSELF.  WHEN LOVE IN OUR HEARTS, AND BEING SOMEONE WHO IS CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING HUMAN NATURE. WHEN A MISTAKE TURNS TO DELIBERATE ACTION DONE OVER ANDD OVER ON A TRANSGRESSORS END. ESPECIALLY HABIT PATTERNS REPETITIVE, DONE OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WE MUST REALIZE THEY ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE AND WE CANNOT CHANGE THEM!

ACCEPTANCE  IS ONE STEP TO HELP US LET GO AND MOVE TOWARDS ACCEPTANCE. THIS WOULD BE A GREAT STEP.  OF COURSE IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS, WE ARE SAD, THEN ANGRY.  SOME OF US ARE SO ANGRY IT ABSORBS THEIR MIND AND HEART.  HOW CAN WE HAVE ANY PEACE AND FORGIVENESS IF WE ARE FULL OF HATE?  I HAVE FOUND IT  HELPFUL WHEN WE END ANY RELATIONSHIP DYSFUNCTIONAL, WE RELY  ON THINKING OF THEM AS IF THEY HAD TERMINAL CANCER “THEY ARE SICK” AND AGAIN WE MUST FORGIVE TO LET GO AND MOVE FORWARD TOWARDS A BRIGHT FUTURE.  WE DO NOT LEARN ANYTHING WHEN WE ARE TRYING TO APPEAR PERFECT.  IT IS THROUGH HONESTY WITH OURSELVES AND LEARNING THE LESSONS LEFT BEHIND FROM THESE EXPERIENCES.

PERHAPS THEY BULLY, HURT, AND KICK US WHEN WE ARE DOWN.  WE NEED TO OBVIOUSLY FORGIVE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, GET WAY FROM THIS  UNACCEPTABLE SITUATION EVEN IF LOVE IN OUR HEARTS STILL EXISTS. THERE WOULD, OF COURSE, BE SADNESS, BUT ANGER IS NEXT.  NOT ONLY MUST WE FORGIVE THEM, WE MUST LET GO.  WE ALSO NEED TO ACCEPT WE DID PLAY SOME ROLE IN THIS BY ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN MORE THAN ONCE BEFORE WE LEFT.

WE MUST MOVE TO A HIGHER GROUND REMINDING OURSELVES WE ARE A PART OF THE PROBLEM BY STAYING NEAR THIS PERSON.  WE WANT TO BE FOCUSED ON MOVING FORWARD AS I MENTIONED AND FINDING SOLUTIONS.  THIS BENEFITS US FOR THE HIGHER GOOD OF MANKIND ITSELF AND YES, OUR OWN HEART.  REMEMBER, IF YOU DON’T FORGIVE ANOTHER, THERE MAY COME A TIME YOUR HURT  BY ANOTHER PERSON AND HOPE THAT THEY FIND IT IN THEIR HEART TO FORGIVE US. 

I DO BELIEVE WHEN WE FORGIVE WE HAVE ROOM FOR ALL THE LIGHT AND LOVE IN THIS WORLD WE THEN CAN EXPERIENCE.  WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO LIVE IN TRUTH  FEELING THIS PAIN BUT PROCESSING IT WITH A PROFESSIONAL AND THE TRAUMA LEFT BEHIND. ULTIMATELY WE THEN CAN MOVE FORWARD.    IT MAY BE HARDER TO FIND LIGHT, LOVE & BEAUTY SOMETIMES MORE THAN OTHERS, IF WE ARE PERSISTENT AND LEAVE TRANSGRESSIONS BEHIND, WE FIND IT MUCH EASIER TO SEE IT IN TIMES OF DARKNESS.  I WISH YOU ALL A VERY SPECIAL EASTER FILLED WITH LOVE, LIGHT BLESSINGS, AND YES, FORGIVENESS. ONE LAST THING MOST IMPORTANT THAN ALL OF THE ABOVE, “FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE UP HIS SON SO WE COULD BE FORGIVEN.  YES, IT MAY REQUIRE GREAT SACRIFICE TO FORGIVE, ESPECIALLY IF WE HAVE HAVE BEEN HURT BY HORRID TRANSGRESSION(S) BUT IT IS ABOUT HEALING AND OUR CHOICES. 

WE DO IT FOR THE GREATER GOOD FOR OURSELVES, HUMANITY, AND GOD.  I WAS THINKING ABOUT ONE WHO HAS REMINDED ME FORGIVENESS DOES BRING LIGHT, LOVE, AND SOMETIMES BEAUTY MANIFESTING ITSELF INTO LOVE BY FORGIVING.  I HAVE A FRIEND WHO I TREASURE VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART.  OVER THE THREE YEARS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, SHE HAS HURT ME SEVERAL TIMES WHICH I HAVE FORGIVEN.  NOW, SHE IS MUCH MORE HUMBLE, ACCOUNTABLE AND KIND, AND I KNOW FORGIVING HER HAS BROUGHT ME A LOVELY GARDEN FROM DEAD DIRT WITH NO SEEDS.  THERE IS HOPE IN THIS WORLD,  THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR READING AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL TODAY, ESPECIALLY.  HAPPY EASTER, SAMANTHA……

EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE – (REVISED)

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“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.”
-C. Joybell

Nearly a year ago, I had written an article on getting rid of emotional baggage.

At the beginning of the year, I made a goal that on my birthday, I would do my best let go of any negativity. In essence, I thought of letting my mind start with a clean slate.

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GRATITUDE

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HELLO STAFF, MEMBERS, FRIENDS,  AND FAMILY,

I WANT TO EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE TODAY AND WISH ALL OF YOU A JOYOUS, LOVING AND SAFE THANKSGIVING!  IT IS NOT OFTEN I CAN SHARE MY GRATITUDE TO EACH OF YOU FOR ALL YOU’VE DONE THIS YEAR, INCLUDING SHARING IN THE HARD TIMES.  LIFE CAN BE A LONELY PLACE.  IT IS MUCH EASIER TO EXPERIENCE GRATITUDE KNOWING THOSE YOU CARE FOR WHO TOUCHED YOU IN SOME MAGICAL WAY  YOU’RE ABLE TO EXPRESS THIS.  YOU’VE SHARED WITH THEM JUST HOW APPRECIATIVE AND THANKFUL YOU ARE. 

 

I DON’T BELIEVE WE MEET PEOPLE BY SIMPLE CHANCE.  THESE ARE THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIFE WHO TOUCH US IN SOME WAY OR TEACH US SOMETHING WHICH IS VALUABLE FOR US TO GROW IN LIFE.  GRATITUDE IS EXPRESSING THIS EITHER IN OUR ACTIONS OR WORDS.  IT’S EASY TO BLAME THOSE WHO LOVE US FOR TAKING ADVANTAGE OF US IN SOME WAY OR HAVE IN THE PAST.  WHAT TO FOCUS ON IS WHAT THESE INDIVIDUALS BROUGHT INTO OUR LIVES.  YES, ITS MORE OF A HEADACHE THAN WE SOMETIMES REALIZE AT DIFFERENT TIMES.  HOWEVER, ONE DAY THEY OR US WILL COME TO THE END OF OUR JOURNEY.  SOME PEOPLE WE SHARE KEY MOMENTS AND FEELINGS WITH ARE ONLY MEANT TO BE WITH US TO TEACH US SOME FORM OF LESSON, AND SOME OF THOSE WILL SHARE OUR JOURNEY ALONG OUR PATH WILL SHARE IT TO THE END.  

REGARDLESS, WE SHOULD FEEL GRATITUDE TOWARDS THEM, NOT ANGRY AS THERE ARE TIMES WE GET HURT EMOTIONALLY BASED ON OUR EXPECTATIONS ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO ARE THERE TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE NEXT STEP ALTHOUGH THEY WILL NOT BE TAKING IT WITH US.  ANGER GETS US NOWHERE WITH PERSONAL GROWTH SO ANGER WE FEEL VERSES GRATITUDE HURTS US IN THE END.  WHEN WE PRACTICE FORGIVENESS AND GRACE WITH OTHERS, WE ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE GRACE AFFORDED TO US.  WHEN WE FEEL ANGER DUE TO OUR OWN FEAR AND SELF BLAME, WE ONLY DO DAMAGE TO ALL THOSE AROUND US.  ANGER IS POWERFUL AND EATS INTO OUR ENERGY SUPPLY.  “LET GO, LET GOD” IS A QUOTE I HAVE PICKED UP OVER THE YEARS.  WHEN WE LET GO OF ANGER, EVEN HATRED, WE OPEN UP AN ABUNDANCE OF INNER SPACE IN OUR HEART TO LOVE, SHARE AND BE GRATEFUL FOR THE GOOD TIMES WE’VE HAD WITH THEM.  IT IS EASIER TO SEE A CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT THEY TAUGHT US AND TAKE THAT LESSON FORWARD WITH GRATITUDE TO OUR CURRENT PLACE INSTEAD OF LIVING IN THE PAST.  

WE ALSO HAVE LONG TERM INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE IN OUR LIFE WHO WILL WALK BESIDE US WHETHER THEY WILL ALWAYS SHARE IN THE DEEPEST MEMORIES AND HEARTFELT MOMENTS WITH THEM.  THIS LIST  OF THESE INDIVIDUALS ARE USUALLY FAMILY OR A BEST FRIEND.  BLOOD DOES APPEAR TO HAVE STRONG TIES FOR ALL OF US.  THIS FAMILY OR DEEP FRIENDSHIP SHARED WITH THEM IS ALSO SHARED BY THEM.  DESPITE US BEING CAUGHT UP IN OUR OWN FEELINGS, WE MAY HURT THEM ALONG THE WAY AS WELL  SHARING LOVE WTIH THOSE IMPORTANT THIS THANKSGIVING AND REMEMBER THOSE WHOM YOU’VE LOVED IN THE PAST  SOME FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE MOVED ON BEFORE WE WISHED THEY HAD, AND ACKNOWLEDGE IN OUR HEARTS OUR LOVE AND MEMORIES WE SHARED WITH THEM.

FINALLY, THERE ARE THOSE PEOPLE IN LIFE WE KNOW FOR AN HOUR BUT FEEL WE HAVE KNOWN ALL OF OUR LIFE.  WE ARE OPEN WITH THEM IN A WAY WE COULDN’T POSSIBLY SHARE BY ACCIDENT.  WE KNOW THEY ARE SPECIAL AND LOVE THEM IN OUR HEART AN HOUR AFTER WE MEET THEM.  THESE PEOPLE WE DON’T SHARE OUR TIME WITH BY ACCIDENT.  GOD DOESN’T WANT US TO BE ALONE.  BEING ALONE FOR ME IS OKAY BUT MY HEART AND SOUL CRAVES OTHERS.  AM I AFRAID TO BE ALONE?  MAYBE-HOWEVER SOME OF US ARE LONERS, OR OLD SOULS AND SOME OF US ARE IN NEED OF THE WARMTH A LOVED ONE OFFERS.  I WISH TO THANK THOSE WHO ARE CURRENTLY INVOLVED IN MY LIFE AND HEART SUCH AS MY FAMILY STILL HERE AND THOSE WHO CAN NO LONGER BE WITH US.  I WANT TO FEEL THE WARMTH I ONCE FELT AS THEY STOOD NEXT TO ME.  MY HEART AND SOUL WILL ALWAYS BE CONNECTED TO THEM BY AN INVISIBLE THREAD.  

ANOTHER LAST THOUGHT WOULD BE TO THANK THOSE WHO BRING SO MUCH GOOD AND POSITIVITY IN OUR LIVES GIVING SO MUCH OF THEMSELVES.  ENOUGH GRATITUDE CAN’T BE EXPRESSED TO REACH THE LENGTH OR INVOLVEMENT OF THANKLESSNESS AND LACK OF EXPECTATION THEY EXPECT FOR ALL THEY DO.  THESE ARE THOSE ANGELS IN OUR LIFETIME WE WILL AND DO REMEMBER DAILY WHETHER WITH THEM OR NOT.  TAKE A MOMENT THIS THANKSGIVING AND SAY A PRAYER OF GRATITUDE FOR ALL OF THESE PEOPLE;  PAST, PRESENT AND GONE FROM OUR LIVES TAKEN.  EXPRESS GRATITUDE BY GOING AROUND  VIA FACETIME  IF NECESSARY AND EXPRESS YOUR GRATITUDE FOR THEM AND ALL THEY DO.  MAKE SURE TO SAY A SILENT PRAYER FOR THOSE NOW GONE FROM OUR LIFE THIS YEAR. 

ADOPT AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE REPLACING SELFISH THOUGHTS FOR GRATEFUL ONES FOR WHAT THEY DID OFFER, GRATEFUL EXPERIENCES SHARED WITH THEM WHICH BROUGHT YOU TO WHERE YOU ARE TODAY.  SAY THE SIMPLE WORDS OF GRATITUDE, THANK YOU TO THOSE YOU GIVE THANKS FOR.  SHARE WHY YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR THEM ACKNOWLEDGING AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WHY YOU FEEL THIS DEEP GRATITUDE AND THANKFULNESS.  MY TEAM IS ALSO A PART OF MY LOVED ONES AND THEY GIVE UNCONDITIONALLY WITH OUT EXPECTATIONS.  IF I HAD ONE LESSON TO LEAVE YOU WITH IT WOULD BE THIS:  LOVE THOSE YOU LOVE WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS OR PRECONCEIVED CONDITIONAL LOVE.  GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU DURING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON WHEN THE HEART MISSES THOSE NO LONGER HERE AND REMEMBER WE WILL SEE THEM AGAIN, IN ANOTHER TIME AND PLACE.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND MANY PRAYERS FOR MY BFF GOING THROUGH SUCH A HARD TIME WITH HER DAUGHTER HAVING CANCER AND MY BFF HERE IN COLORADO.  HER SON IS COPING WITH COVID NOW, AND SHE WORRIES IT WILL SPREAD TO HER GRANDSON AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.  

I AM GRATEFUL FOR THOSE WHO I ONCE LOVED AND WILL ALWAYS CARRY THEIR LESSONS ALONG SIDE ME.  BE GRATEFUL TO THOSE INDIVIDUALS THAT YOU MAY MEET OR HAVE MET THIS YEAR THAT ARE MORE THAN A PASSING IN THE WIND.  THANK YOU MY ONLINE BFF REENIE REID..ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU..GOD’S BLESSINGS TO MY EXTENDED FAMILY WHO UNFORTUNATELY LIVE OUT OF STATE AND I WILL NOT SEE THIS THANKSGIVING AND GIVE THANKS TO OUR MEDICAL COMMUNITY AND ALL THEY DO. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL….

SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/FOUNDER                                                                                                                          DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM

 

VOLATILITY

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Today’s daily wisdom word is volatility.  What creates this. kind of reaction, volatility?  Volatility happens when a person has little or no control over their “reactions”.  This personality trait occurs when someone reacts to anger, instead of responds.  There is a big difference.  When we are angry most of us do respond. Volatility occurs when we REACT without thinking.  It is an indicator of a personality that sometimes can lead to violence.  We will now take a look at the definition of volatility;  first in our Webster Dictionary and then the daily wisdom words definition. 

Webster definition of volatility-1. Liability to change rapidly and unpredictably, especially for the worse.  

Daily Wisdom Words meaning of volatility-a reaction to anger that can escalate to physical and emotional abuse.

Someone who is emotionally volatile has a strong reaction to everything, even small things.  Around these individuals regularly, it can feel very uncomfortable like you are walking on eggshells.  It is hard to know what will set this person off.  You don’t feel easy being around these people, because you do not know what will set them off.  It is also hard to be vulnerable with them sharing your most intimate feelings. This can be a serious problem because without vulnerability one can’t be completely intimate with their partner.  For example, volatile individuals, because they are easily triggered, can use your vulnerability as an actual weapon against you bringing it up at times to justify their anger.   

The tiniest of things can set these individuals off.  Even though we may love this person, we eventually will feel some form of wanting to escape this kind of relationship.  You can simply be explaining how you’re feeling and volatile individuals will take this personally.  Sometimes it is best to end the conversation to stop the triggering of this reaction.  It may be best to avoid them altogether.  A healthy, rounded individual who is in a relationship, takes time before responding in disagreements.  Volatile individuals are not capable of doing this.  One thing to look for is anxiety in an individual and a short fuse when anything remotely troubling is happening.  I hope all people who read this will be weary of volatile individuals when delving into a serious relationship.  They are also emotionally abusive which can escalate to physical violence.  

Since volatility is one trait of abusers, there is often regret and apologies after they react instead of respond.  Thanks so much for reading today about this.  It is something often not seen until it is too late.  Samantha Leboeuf/DWW       I love comments and feedback.  scroll down beneath this article after reading and “join the discussion”.  I am available always to respond as soon as I am able.  We also offer counseling to our members overseen by Dr. Shanni Dover, retired psychologist.  Her articles are wonderful and she is also available from 3-6pm pacific time after she publishes it under our “Wise Advice” page every Sunday.  She can direct you to our mental health advocates who are available via email and phone for appointments.  Please take time to read the 10 reasons to join our Writers Community!  We would love to have you be a part of our family.

 

TEN REASONS TO BECOME A MEMBER OF DAILY WISDOM WORDS!  SIGNING UP IS EASY.  SIMPLY VISIT OUR WEBSITE AND FOLLOW ANY OF THE “BECOME A MEMBER” BOXES BY CLICKING ON ONE AND SIGNING UP.  THE COST TO JOIN IS EITHER $20.00 FOR 20 YEARS OF MEMBERSHIP OR:  FIVE DOLLARS WITH THREE DOLLAR DUES PER MONTH.  THE LATTER MEMBERSHIP MAY BE CANCELLED AT ANY TIME WITH 30 DAYS NOTICE.  TWO WAYS, TWO OPTIONS PERFECT FOR YOUR NEEDS!! 

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4.  Online Store.  We offer you things such as discounted Book Reviews, (we read every word of your book).  The book reviews are detailed and compelling.  We also offer “Custom Poetry” as well as our first Daily Wisdom Words Anthology written containing poetry from our staff and members.  Custom poetry is the perfect gift for you if your looking for a gift for the loved one who is hard to shop for, or has a special occasion coming up.  question form for you to fill out telling your personal poet what makes your loved one so special.  You then will send this to your personal poet who will call you to set up a 30 minute phone interview.  We want your “Custom Poetry” to be perfect for your loved one whether it be for an anniversary, birthday, Retirement, Christmas Present, or any other occasion.  We will then write the poetry for you and you will receive a call  and email where you let us know if this is exactly what you were looking for.  We then edit any changes for you.  This gift is nominal, because it is so unusual and unique.  It can run up to $195 depending on the frame, font and length of poem.  However, your loved one will appreciate it forever and there is no better feeling than this or better investment.

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MALICE

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How does having malice in our hearts and minds affect us?  Does it hurt the person we have malice against, or do we hurt ourselves?  Malice is a tough emotion and a step past anger.  It is the absolute intention to do harm to someone or something that we are angry about.  Malice is anger, misaligned.  It has taken over reason and is based on resentment and hatred.  Let’s take a look at the meaning of malice in the Webster Dictionary.

Webster Definition of Malice-1.  The intention or desire to do evil, ill will.  2.  Wrongful intention, especially as increasing the guilt of certain offenses.

Daily Wisdom Words Definition of Malice-Evil that has intention, power and planning.

There is always the opposite for a word, especially malice.  It’s counter-opposite is kindness and being kind is a virtue.  Malice is not.  We all feel angry at times.  However, when we let it fester in our minds, it begins to build into resentment.  Resentment eats away at the soul.  Some people are not mature enough to have a filter and the ability to see this.  This is when malice enters.  Malice is the result of anger, hatred and resentment.  We all feel anger, but if we are mature, we learn to diffuse it.  

However, there are some people who have intentions to do evil to another, or something.  These people for some reason have no filter to allow anger to flow out of them.  How is it possible when we all feel anger towards another at times to get past it and move forward rather than allow it to control our behavior?

The first thing to do when we feel extreme anger towards someone is to pray for them.  They know not what they do.  They are blinded with hatred somewhere in their hearts that manifests towards another.  It takes a lot to start to plan revenge.  However, this is where malice can take us.  If they take their actions out on you, and you truly don’t know how to react, the best thing to do is ignore their behavior.  This is hard to do.  I allowed myself recently to lose my temper with someone that I once considered a friend.  I couldn’t understand how she could be so hateful towards me when I had been so kind to her.  She said horrible things to me, and threatened to slander my name.  

I did exactly what I am sharing with others not to do.  I acted on my anger which had festered into malice.  Forgiveness was a far better option.  Not only did I make this person more angry, they said more hurtful things to me and told me in response to my email, she had slandered my name on social media.  I have to admit some horrible things crossed my mind to do to her with all the information she had shared with me over time.  I knew I had the power, will and anger to use malice to handle the situation.  Instead, I called a friend who reminded me of what is truly important in life.  Which side of the road do we want to walk on?  The road to evil or the road to forgiveness, grace and understanding.  This person is not able to use the filter most of us have to control anger.  

It is okay if someone has mistreated you, to cut them out of your life.  What is not okay is to keep the anger alive we feel so in manifests into malice.  I realize all I did was escalate the situation by responding to her anger and slander.  With Thanksgiving just around the corner, we need to be grateful for all the people in life who love us.  We don’t need to focus on the anger towards another, even if it is justified.  Learn to let it go.  They know not what they do.  Rise above it, no matter how hard that is to do at times.

Thank you for reading about malice today.  When your done reading, please scroll down to the bottom of the page and let me know your thoughts or personal experience with anger.  You may also leave a poem or quote.  The important thing is to let your voice be heard.  You never know who you might help out of a dire situation. 

Samantha Leboeuf

 

THE WAY I FEEL BY ASA

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LYRICS

I feel like I’m floating through existence
I feel like I’m living after time
I feel like I’m forced to break the silence
Is that a crime?
Is that a crime?
I feel like we’re all following shadows
And shadows they don’t know where to go
I feel like I’m waiting for tomorrow
while today wastes away
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s not that I haven’t noticed
It’s driving me insane
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s just the way I feel
It’s just the way I feel
I feel like a child without a father
And mama tries oh lord knows mama tries
I feel like the world is on my shoulder
I wonder why, wonder why
I feel like I’m not the only one who’s frustrated
I feel like something’s going wrong
I can’t escape it
I feel like the destinies of those meant
To be the best
Are in the hands of liars now the world is on fire
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s not that I haven’t noticed
It’s driving me insane
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s just the way I feel
It’s just the way I feel
I feel like we’re not angry enough
That while we wait, time’s ticking away
I feel there’s gonna be an explosion!
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s not that I haven’t noticed
It’s driving me insane
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s just the way I feel
It’s just the way I feel

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How do you feel right now? I want to know…but you’ll have to listen to this song from Asa’s Beautiful imperfection. It’s my favorite!

-Watch video

-Compose a poem inspired by song

-Share with us via the comment box

to participate.

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Dww Poetry contest is still on. All you need is $5 and your poem to win $300.

SUFFERING

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Why do some of us suffer?  I want to focus on the love relationship/psychological aspect of suffering in this post.  Because October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I would like to talk about love relationships that have gone wrong.  We all have entered into relationships only to find, the person they were dating, and who they perceived them to be was not the case.  Some of us, however, don’t turn around when those red sirens go off with our intuition and instincts based on past traumas and many other reasons, so they end up suffering because they followed their heart.  

We always hear, we should follow our hearts.  This is not always the case.  I have been so attracted to someone, even fooling myself, with justifications like “I don’t really care about him at this point, so why not go out with him again?’  The problem is we end up getting hooked to this individual.  Usually when there is a crazy chemistry, (Not always), usually however, There are deeper issues at play.  What we think is chemistry, can be in all actuality, sharing an “ADDICTION”.  You find the person your attracted to drinks too much, and you do too.  

Another way we end up in relationships that bring on suffering and pain is what is known as the rescuer syndrome.  We see a man who has so many great qualities, and they sweep us off of our feet, say “I love you” a little too quickly, say all the right things that we need to hear and before we know it, we are hooked.  We notice those flaws within the man.  For example, his temper is a little too hot.  We know this because we saw him lose his temper at the waiter over cold rolls served.  Yet, instead of taking not of the red flag that popped up inside, along with an eventual sob story on his or her end, we overlook this episode.  

How else do we land in a love relationship that brings us suffering?  We have the relationship where addiction is at play, the rescuer relationship, and now, the unavailable man.  

The unavailable man or woman is difficult not to be attracted to.  After all, they are advertising that they are everything you want, and they already have figured out “what you want” and the scary thing is that what they think you want is truly what you do.  You do notice however, the man is 45 years old and never married.  You ask him about this, and you get a smooth, well rehearsed answer as to why they are still single.  The number one reason men who are emotionally unavailable give is “I just haven’t met the right woman yet”.  Generally, you would ask a follow-up question like, “Would you like to be married?”  Answer is something like this:  “Absolutely if I met the right woman.”  

Another issue with the “emotionally unavailable” man is that they love to make you fall in love with them.  You may be asking, why would a person be so cruel if the relationship isn’t going anywhere and they know this?  The answer is, most of the time, they don’t.  They have not come to terms with their own issues, and in order to be direct and honest with you they have to come to terms with these issues.  One last point about the emotionally unavailable man is that they make everything your fault after your already in love with them, and they look for perfectionism.  Eventually, we all have to drop the perfect image, because we are human.  However, the very reason this kind of man brings eventual suffering to you, is he decides he can’t live with your flaws.  It’s not personal!!  They would arrive at this conclusion regardless of what you showed them and until they face their own issues this will NOT change.  

Finally, we have the Physically Abusive Man.  These are the types of men that have exceptional qualities to you, yet your friends get a bad feeling when they first meet him. These types of men will commit:  quickly.  Beware of the man that says I love you too fast, and beware of the man that escalates with his behavior.  These individuals, (believe me, women can abuse as well) begin by pulling out all of the stops.  Everything you want they give you if they are able.  They share their dreams with you and they paint the prettiest of pictures as to what your future will be like. This relationship has a “courtship period” where there are roses, dinners, poems, romance, (they literally sweep you off your feet).  At this point, your in love with them.  You find, one night you are the one who accidentally serves rolls that are cold and this man, who has shown you nothing but love towards you, snaps.  They slap you, or push you (the first time they physically abuse you is just the beginning of an escalation of violence to come).  After this, they apologize, profusely, even crying at some point, giving you a thousand excuses, and despite all that you have previously felt would be “the end” of a relationship turns into a second chance.  

It is also important to mention this.  These types of men, like to isolate you.  It begins slowly, just like the physical abuse.  They begin to say things like, why do you need to make time for Debbie, for example, when you could be spending that time with me?  They isolate your family.  At some point you and him draw a line with family and friends, or vice-versa.  Some friends, simply can’t take seeing you with someone that hurts you like that, because of the pain it brings for them, when they see you go back over and over.  

What is the Psychology behind this rationalization on your part?  Everytime this type of abuser insists he will change, swears he will be someone new, is wonderful to you for a period of time, before the act of violence happens again, you have compromised your moral code.  We all, if asked if we would ever be in this type of relationship, would of course answer no.  Yet, time after time we find some of the women in society when all is said and done, come out of the closet and we find that they, too, were in one of these kinds of relationships. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO MENTION THAT MEN CAN BE THE ONES BEING PHYSICALLY ABUSED AS WELL. 

Daily Wisdom Words is based off of mistakes learned from.  Remember this.  Neel and myself are now offering counseling to individuals who belong to Daily Wisdom Words.  If your signed up, great.  Take advantage of “Wise Advice”.  If you are not a member, because we are not licensed professionals, instead, Mental Health Advocates, we can only help those part of this community.  Join today for just $10 if you need to talk to someone and be pointed in the right direction.  Suffering in a love relationship is a choice.  Don’t make it your choice.  Thanks so much for reading.  Samantha Leboeuf/DWW

OTHER DAILY WISDOM WORDS YOU MIGHT FIND INTERESTING:

http://dailywisdomwords.com/perfectionists/

Words of Anger

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“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

-Ambrose Bierce

I’ve often felt that in this day and age, the proverb “silence is golden” is not very apt, especially in an age in which silence is often mistaken for contentment.

That said, I do think there is one time when it’s better to bite your tongue: when you’re angry.

First, we have to accept that anger is a natural emotion which cannot be avoided. So by no means am I advocating suppressing it (unless you have a serious medical problem with it).

What I am suggesting is to remain silent when angry.

For one thing, we should always be in control of our speech which is difficult to do in anger.

Secondly, I’ve always believed that while making an argument, there should be some rationale behind it (even if it’s one only you believe in) simply so you don’t come across as ignorant. That also is difficult to do in anger.

When you’re angry, it’s best to walk away and let it out in other ways (write about it, punch a pillow, etc).

Then come back and make your point afterward when you’ve had some time for more objectivity.

Do you have ways of dealing with speech while angry? Join the discussion and comment below.