LIFE IS FULL OF CONCLUSIONS AND ENDINGS. LIFE is best compared to a book. There are chapters, and then a final conclusion. We all must face much sadness or happiness depending on the conclusion. I feel the hardest thing we deal with are our losses of the people in our life we care about. We grieve, in one way or another, depending whether the conclusion is the end of a book or the end of a chapter.
When we deal with conclusions, like losing someone we love when they die, we hurt terribly. I think until we experience a deep, heartfelt family loss of someone like my sister who discovered she had cancer, we think somehow the pain has an ending. This sadly, is not true. We all grieve differently and sometimes there are conclusions that are “delayed”. We think someone is okay after they lose someone, because they wear a mask that hides their pain. However, when we lose a sister, or a grown daughter before we go, we must deal with a horrible loss and grieve in our own way.
For some reason, the deep rooted memories and knowing bond not always clear to others, losing my sister has been the greatest loss. There are times like my birthday last week, before I get a chance to really think, I have thoughts run through my mind thinking, because it is my birthday, Jenny will call today and sing. There is now a final conclusion. A conclusion is a final ending. It hurts always and the memories are never forgotten. If only I….did this or that, we would have spent more time together. We take time for granted. We forget that time also has a final conclusion for each of us.
We all die, and leave behind those we love. It simply put, broke my heart to see my sister slip away. I held out hope that she would keep living until the moment she died. I was right by her near her beautiful daughters and saw her final conclusion. There doesn’t seem to be a final conclusion for the pain yet. I know her daughters and myself and mother and her husband will hurt and miss her until the day our final conclusion arrives. Sometimes, it takes a loss like this to realize we all have an expiration date. That is why it is so important for us to enjoy the time we have. We need to be kind, always. Do our best to understand that all of us have different viewpoints and beliefs and even if we do NOT understand, respect that person’s point of view. We need to realize that someday for those we have any form of contact with, we will each have our final conclusion.
I see my mom is older, and am so sad that we moved twenty minutes from her. I would, yet don’t do it differently, and for this I blame myself. I seem to be low on energy, placing most of my time in my writing. Perhaps in some way I will touch another person out there and they will appreciate that no matter how much they try, they will deal with the losses and tragedies in life. I love her so much, and know her pain is even greater than mine losing a child. I wish that there was a way to change myself more than I do. You see, every day is different for me, and the “conclusion” of each day different. I do suffer with depression. It is hard to pull myself up and do what I should do. Regret however, is yet another daily wisdom word for another day.
To conclude this post I ask each of us to realize there will be a final conclusion for those we love as well as ourself. Treasure what time still offers. When a new chapter or grandchild is born, until the day we have our final conclusion. This way the conclusion we do know we will have will be a peaceful end. Thank you for reading.
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