Our daily wisdom word is deceit today. Deceit, especially when the deceit you become aware of comes from someone you love who has deceived you, it is hard to deal with. Sadly when we are deceived, especially when it is a loved one, will bring so many emotions to the surface. First we doubt who the person is, and then we doubt ourselves and our judgement. It also affects the trust in a relationship. It could come from anyone you love.
Many of us have secrets that would have a rippling effect on others, so we keep these secrets to ourselves. When the secret comes out and it often does, the person you did not share the secret with IS HURT. If the secret is related to them, it is often viewed as deception to them. If you are like me, trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. Once I extend trust to another, it has been earned. However, I give trust much too easily. I feel that I am so close to this person I can trust them. Then I find out a secret about me they have been withholding. Sometimes the secret is something I should never hear, because it is hurtful. I would rather feel the hurt than feel deceived.
Why Does it hurt? When we feel we are deceived, it places the whole relationship on the line for us. The question is, can we get past it or will it be something we will always carry with us in the relationship? If you are unable to let go of the deception and trust again over time, it becomes best to distance yourself from the relationship partly due to the strong negativity and anger you may be feeling.
We are not victims when we are deceived, unless we choose to be. We can rise above the deception, and see that person who deceived us in a whole new light. Perhaps part of our trust came from placing them on a pedestal when they are human just like us.
I have one other comment on deception from a loved one. Oftentimes, we don’t get over it and how we view this person is with a whole new perspective. It is hard not to do this because the deceit may be something kept from you, that you feel you should have been told. We should remember the deception but be able to let go o our emotions and forgive.
We can forgive the mistake, but trust must be built again more carefully, and we may be able to get past the deceit. If this is the case and it is a family member, try talking to them about your feelings. Sometimes just hearing “I am so sorry” helps us to move past being deceived. We are all human and we all make bad judgement calls from time to time. Make sure what you expect from another person when you deem them as trustworthy is not realistic. There is a certain power when we forgive and it may be to get past our feelings of hurt and pain we accept the mistake and move past it. After all we are all human and do make mistakes. Samantha LeBoeuf