hurt

DECEIT “WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE DECEIVED”

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Our daily wisdom word is deceit today.  Deceit, especially when the deceit you become aware of comes from someone you love who has deceived you, it is hard to deal with.  Sadly when we are deceived, especially when it is a loved one, will bring so many emotions to the surface.  First we doubt who the person is, and then we doubt ourselves and our judgement.  It also affects the trust in a relationship.  It could come from anyone you love. 

Many of us have secrets that would have a rippling effect on others, so we keep these secrets to ourselves.  When the secret comes out and it often does, the person you did not share the secret with IS HURT.   If the secret is related to them, it is often viewed as deception to them.  If you are like me, trust is one of the most important things in a relationship.  Once I extend trust to another, it has been earned.  However, I give trust much too easily.  I feel that I am so close to this person I can trust them.  Then I find out a secret about me they have been withholding. Sometimes the secret is something I should never hear, because it is hurtful.  I would rather feel the hurt than feel deceived.  

Why Does it hurt?  When we feel we are deceived, it places the whole relationship on the line for us.  The question is, can we get past it or will it be something we will always carry with us in the relationship?  If you are unable to let go of the deception and trust again over time, it becomes best to distance yourself from the relationship partly due to the strong negativity and anger you may be feeling. 

We are not victims when we are deceived, unless we choose to be.  We can rise above the deception, and see that person who deceived us in a whole new light.  Perhaps part of our trust came from placing them on a pedestal when they are human just like us. 

I have one other comment on deception from a loved one.  Oftentimes, we don’t get over it and how we view this person is with a whole new perspective. It is hard not to do this because the deceit may be something kept from you, that you feel you should have been told.  We should remember the deception but be able to let go o our emotions and forgive. 

We can forgive the mistake, but trust must be built again more carefully, and we may be able to get past the deceit. If this is the case and it is a family member, try talking to them about your feelings.  Sometimes just hearing “I am so sorry” helps us to move past being deceived.  We are all human and we all make bad judgement calls from time to time.  Make sure what you expect from another person when you deem them as trustworthy is not realistic.  There is a certain power when we forgive and it may be to get past our feelings of hurt and pain we accept the mistake and move past it.  After all we are all human and do make mistakes.  Samantha LeBoeuf

FINALITY

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OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “FINALITY”.  THERE ARE THINGS WE EXPERIENCE IN A LIFETIME THAT WE CAN’T CONTROL.  WE DON’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE, FOR EXAMPLE.  WE CAN SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THEM BUT ULTIMATELY, IT IS THEIR CHOICE TO DECIDE IF THEY FOLLOW THAT EXAMPLE.  WE CAN GIVE ADVICE, BUT ULTIMATELY THE DECISION MADE IS IN THAT PERSON’S HANDS.  WHAT WE DO HOLD CONTROL OVER IS OUR OWN CHOICES.  WE WILL HAVE NEGATIVITY TO DEAL WITH DURING LIFE, AS WELL AS PAIN. 

WE CAN CHOOSE TO FEEL THE PAIN, AND LOOK FOR THE GOOD FOUND WITH ANOTHER BUT WE CANNOT BE FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOMES OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS.  WHETHER IT IS OUR CHILDREN, OUR FRIENDSHIPS OR EVEN OUR FUTURE, WE CAN GUIDE WHAT WHAT WE WANT TO HAPPEN, AND STILL HAVE UNEXPECTED TURBULENCE FROM OUTSIDE EVENTS WE SIMPLY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. 

LIFE IS SHORT.  ONE OF THE EXPERIENCES WE MUST FACE IS FINALLY ACCEPTING FINALITY WHEN OTHERS ARE INVOLVED OR THEY DECIDE TO EXIT OUR LIFE.  SOMETIMES IT MUST BE US THAT ACCEPTS FINALITY.  IF A RELATIONSHIP CAUSES US PAIN AND IS UNHEALTHY, OR SOMEHOW IS HURTING US MORE THAN HELPING US IT MAY BE TIME TO ACCEPT THE FINALITY OF A SITUATION.  IT HURTS IN LIFE WHEN WE LOSE PEOPLE WE LOVE WHETHER IT BE BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO GO, OR GOD CALLS THEM HOME.   WE DEAL WITH A SERIES OF STAGES TO GO THROUGH ANY HEALING PROCESS.  FIRST, WE ARE IN DENIAL.  NEXT COMES ANGER.  AFTER THIS, WE FEEL IMMENSE SADNESS, AND FINALLY WE ACCEPT WHAT IS OR THE LOSS OF SOMEONE WE LOVE FROM OUR LIFE. 

WHAT WE MUST DO, IS  LET GO OF THE ANGER STAGE.  WE FEEL ANGER AND THIS HELPS GIVE US STRENGTH, OR SO WE THINK, BUT ULTIMATELY IT STOPS US FROM GETTING TO THE NEXT STAGE WE NEED TO DEAL WITH TO GET TO FINALITY OR ACCEPTANCE. ANGER OVER TIME, HURTS US MORE ANYTHING.  ANGER IS LIKE A VIRUS SPREADING IN THE BODY. ANGER CAN EAT AWAY OUR LOVE FOR OTHERS INDIRECTLY CAUSING US DAMAGE IN THE RELATIONSHIPS WE STILL HAVE IN OUR LIFE.  WE  OFTEN FEEL IT IS EASIER TO STAY IN THIS STAGE TO AVOID FEELING THE NEXT STAGE WHICH IS HURT, SADNESS AND PAIN.  THIS IS WHY IT IS HARD TO GET PAST ANGER AND MOVE ON LEARNING TO COPE WITH THE SADNESS OF LOSS OF ANY KIND. 

ONCE WE REALIZE AND FEEL THIS LOSS, IT ALLOWS US TO MOVE ON TO THE FINAL STAGE, ACCEPTANCE.  WHEN WE ACCEPT THE LOSS, WE THEN BEGIN TO HEAL.  YES, THE PAIN AND MISSING THEM WILL HURT STILL, BUT THE TIMES WE SHARED AND THE LESSONS LEARNED WE LEARN TO FOCUS ON.  WE REMAIN ULTIMATELY AT A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE AND FINALITY. FINALITY CAN BE HARD WITH ANYTHING. 

SOMETIMES WE FEEL RELIEF WITH FINALITY, BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WE FEEL THE LOSS.  I WISH THIS WERE MORE ABOUT SOLUTIONS BUT WE MUST EXPERIENCE ANGER TO GET TO SADNESS, AND THEN ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO.  FINALITY WITH ANYTHING WHICH BROUGHT US HAPPINESS, HOWEVER LITTLE IT MAY HAVE BEEN, IS HARD TO ACCEPT, BUT IT IS IN ACCEPTANCE WE WILL BEGIN TO HEAL.  DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP YOU KNOW HAS REACHED ITS EXPIRATION DATE?  DO YOU FIND YOURSELF FULL OF ANGER AND SOMETIMES EVEN RAGE?  LIFE ISN’T FAIR AND SOMETIMES WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY WHEN A RELATIONSHIP ENDS OR TO BE HEALTHY, WE MUST LET GO OF IT. HOW DO WE HEAL?  LOVE FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL IN OUR LIFE BECOMES ABUNDANT LIKE A VACCINE OF SORTS JUST AS HATRED IS A VIRUS.  LOVE GROWS AND FILLS OUR HEART WITH JOY INSTEAD OF OUR HEAD IN ANGER AND HATE.  PART OF LIFE JUST LIKE A BEGINNING IS AN END.  FINALITY CAN BE WHAT IS NECESSARY TO DRAW HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR OURSELVES EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY.  THIS MAY MEAN LOSS, BUT IT ALSO MEANS FREEING UP SPACE WASTED IN TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS AND THEIR ACTIONS.  DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS?  DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE BEST WAY TO COPE WITH A PARTICULAR SITUATION ENDING?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW OR A QUESTION AND YOU WILL GET A RESPONSE.  I RESPOND TO MY QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS, EVEN IF IT TAKES A FEW DAYS.  THANKS FOR READING…IF YOU HAVE HELPFUL ADVICE, LEAVE IT IN THE “JOIN THE DISCUSSION” AREA BELOW THIS POST.  THANK YOU, SAMANTHA

 

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BLAME “THE BLAME GAME”

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OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS BLAME.  I HAVE AN ACRONYM FOR BLAME THAT I THINK OF EVERY TIME I HEAR THIS DAILY WISDOM WORD. BLAME. BLAME IS,  B-LINDLY L-ABELING  A-LLEGATIONS ERRONEOUSLY.  I THINK OF ALL THE TIMES I’VE BEEN BLAMED FOR THINGS I WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR, OR I BLAMED OTHERS FOR. 

THERE HAVE ALSO BEEN CASES WHERE I HAVE UNINTENTIONALLY BLAMED OTHERS FOR EVENTS THAT TRANSPIRED IN MY LIFE, I HONESTLY BELIEVED SOMEONE ELSE WAS TO BLAME FOR ACTIONS THAT I TOOK. IN CASES WHERE I HAVE BEEN BLAMED, I WAS VERY HURT AND FELT MISUNDERSTOOD. TRUTH IS A STRANGELY ONE THING THAT MOST OF THE TIME, OVER TIME.  

YES, MANY THINGS IN LIFE, WE AREN’T IN CONTROL OF, AND CAN’T CHANGE.  HOWEVER, WE CAN CHANGE OUR PERCEPTION AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS  THOSE FOR CHOICES WE )  THEY GAVE AWAY THEIR POWER OVER TIME TO THEIR PARTNER.  OFTENTIMES I HEAR THESE KINDS OF THINGS FROM THEM.  FOR EXAMPLE “I CAN’T GO THE BIRTHDAY PARTY.  HE WON’T ALLOW IT”.  THIS KILLS ME AS I KNOW THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS GOTTEN TO A CRITICAL STAGE AND IS UNHEALTHY. THEIR PARTNER CREATIVELY USES MIND GAMES CONVINCING THEM THEY ARE HAPPY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. 

 LIFE DOESN’T OFTEN ALLOW CONTRADICTIONS SUCH AS “BLAMING OTHERS”.  TO FEEL COMPLETELY IN YOUR HEART ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE RELATIONSHIP IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE’S  FAULT, HOLDING NO RESPONSIBILITY  OR ACCOUNTABILITY, I SEE THEY ARE IN DENIAL AT THE VERY LEAST,  THEY CHOSE TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE THEY CLEARLY DON’T TRUST.  I BELIEVE THEIR PART, IS GIVING AWAY THEIR OWN POWER OR CONTROL OF CHOICE AND FREE WILL OVER THEIR OWN LIFE. 

MOST OF US SAY WE WANT TO BE SOMEONE IN CONTROL OF OUR  OWN DESTINY.   THE REASONS BEHIND NOT WANTING TO MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS IS KNOWING IF WE  MAKE A MISTAKE WE MUST ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES.  THEY HAVE ARRIVED AT A NEW STAGE I,,  RELATIONSHIP SO MANY FRIENDS GET TO BEFORE EVER CONSIDERING GETTING OUT OF IT.  NOW, THEY HAVE GIVEN MUCH OF THEIR POWER OF CHOICE AND THEY FEEL THERE IS NO TURNING BACK. MOST OF THEM GIVE UP TRYING.  OFTEN TIMES THEY ARE FRIENDS THAT HAVE NO CLUE HOW THEY ARRIVED  IN THE SITUATION TO BEGIN WITH.  IF OUR LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE IS EVIDENT OR  SUBCONSCIOUSLY WE FEEL A LACK OF CONFIDENCE,   WHAT WE SAY AND WHAT WE DO, ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. 

WE DON’T REALLY BELIEVE WE ARE IN A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP. WE ATTRACT UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS THAT WE MISIDENTIFY TO BEGIN WITH.  IN THE LONG RUN, THE ABUSED HAS SETTLED INTO THIS ROUTINE MISTAKING IT AS NORMAL. WE SEE A “GOOD PERSON” UNABLE TO SEE THE MANIPULATION OR CHOOSING NOT TO SEE IT FROM THEIR PARTNER.   ALL SORTS OF JUSTIFICATIONS ARE MADE. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, THEY ARE MORE TERRIFIED TO BE ALONE THAN THEY ARE HAVING THEIR PARTNER ABUSE THEM.

GASLIGHTING,  IS USED BY THE ABUSER IN A RELATIONSHIP AS A TOOL USED TO CAST BLAME ON THE ABUSED.   IF POSSIBLE, THE POTENTIAL OUTCOME OF A DATE, LETS SAY, IS USED BY THE ABUSER TO FIND A WAY  TO BLAME THE ABUSED.  THIS OFTEN IS A MANIPULATIVE TECHNIQUE OR A FORM OF BLAME THEM, AFFECTING KEY AREAS OF ONESELF BEING MORE DAMAGED THAN THE ABUSED HAD BEEN BEFORE BEING IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. 

THE ABUSER USES SHAME OR BLAME SO THE ABUSED IS AT FAULT FOR WHATEVER THE ABUSER CAN GET AWAY WITH.  THE ABUSER, BY TEARING AT THE OTHERS “SELF-ESTEEM” TAKES POWER AWAY FROM THE ABUSED, WHO ALLOWS THEM TO TAKE AWAY ANY ABILITY TO CHOOSE .  THEY WILL BLAME THE ABUSED FOR THE ROOT CAUSE OF ALL PROBLEMS.  THIS IS ANOTHER FORM OF GASLIGHTING.  THE ABUSER IS A MASTER AT PUSHING THE OTHERS MIND CONTROL BUTTONS. 

HE WILL FOR EXAMPLE, SAY, “HURRY UP, WE DON’T WANT TO BE LATE.”  THE RESPONSE FROM THE ABUSED IS, “I WILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE” AND SHE OR HE IS.  THE ABUSER WILL THEN SAY, “I AM NOT GOING”.  THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW A MANIPULATIVE OR NARCISSISTIC PARTNER WILL HANDLE MOST SITUATIONS ESPECIALLY  IF WE ARE NOT AWARE OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING OR CHOOSE TO OVERLOOK IT . THEY ULTIMATELY BELIEVE THEY ARE TO BLAME FOR DESTROYING THE EVENING. 

THE GOOD NEWS IS THERE IS HOPE FOR ANY PERSON IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, FIRST, THEY MUST STOP JUSTIFYING WHY THEY MUST STAY AND  BEGIN SEEING THE TRUTH.  ANYONE CAN FIND HELP IF THEY REALLY WANT IT AND ARE READY TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF  ADDICTIVE ROLE OR HABIT PATTERN. THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING ABOUT BLAME TODAY!  I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR INPUT AND IDEAS OR THOUGHTS. BENEATH THIS POST IN THE ” JOIN THE DISCUSSION” AREA SO START A DISCUSSION THAT WILL RESULT IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION. USE OUR WISE ADVICE PAGE IF YOU NEED FURTHER HELP, WHERE WE CAN LISTEN AND DIRECT YOU TOWARDS A STEP BY STEP PROCESS TO GET OUT OF WHAT IS MAKING YOU UNHAPPY ALL OF THE TIME.

FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION, NOT THE PROBLEM.  SL

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WOUNDS (WHAT DO PHYSICAL WOUNDS AND EMOTIONAL WOUNDS HAVE IN COMMON?)

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OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “WOUNDS”.  I AM NOT REFERRING TO A PHYSICAL WOUND, BUT THE SAME STEPS TO HEAL ONE, DO APPLY TO OUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS.  IF A WOUND IS BLEEDING, AND THE BLEEDING DOESN’T STOP, IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS WE NEED TO TAKE ADDITIONAL STEPS TO GET THAT BLEEDING TO STOP SUCH AS STITCHES AT AN EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT.  IT IS NO DIFFERENT WHEN WE HAVE PSYCHOLOGICAL WOUNDS.  IF THEY ARE NOT TREATED FIRST BY ACKNOWLEDGING THEM, THEN TAKING STEPS TO HEAL THEM THEY WILL TAINT OUR PERCEPTION OF OTHERS, LEVEL OF TRUST, AND ABILITY TO HAVE SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS OF ANY KIND. 

LET ME WALK THIS THROUGH.  FOR EXAMPLE, I HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD.  I NEVER TELL ANYONE MY SECRET BECAUSE OF SHAME AND HUMILIATION.  I ACTUALLY PUSH IT OUT OF MY MIND EVERY TIME IT SURFACES IN MY MIND.  I CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO THINK ABOUT IT, MUST LESS GET HELP TO HEAL THIS WOUND.  IT LITERALLY BEGINS TO BLEED INTO OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE.  I AM NOW IN MY FIRST SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.  HOWEVER, SOME PART OF ME “HOLDS BACK”, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUAL INTIMACY. 

I HAD HELD INSIDE WHAT HAPPENED  TO ME AND BURIED IT, AND YEARS LATER, BECAUSE I DIDN’T TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS TO HEAL THE WOUNDS THAT REMAINED, THEY WERE STILL RAW AND OPEN. 

WHAT STEPS SHOULD I HAVE TAKEN?  THE FIRST STEP WOULD HAVE BEEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ALTHOUGH I DIDN’T FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HAD HAPPENED AT THE TIME. THE NEXT STEP WOULD HAVE BEEN TO TELL A PARENT OR ADULT I TRUSTED.  THE NEXT STEP WOULD HAVE BEEN TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH A TRUSTED ADULT AND THEN GET TO A PROFESSIONAL EQUIPPED TO GIVE ME THE PROPER HELP I NEEDED.  WOUNDS THAT ARE DEEP AND EMOTIONAL END UP BEING “REPRESSED MEMORIES” OFTEN WHEN NOT ADDRESSED ESPECIALLY AS A CHILD. DO YOU SEE THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL WOUNDS WE GET?  WE CAN’T LEAVE EMOTIONAL WOUNDS TO FESTER IN OUR MINDS EVEN WHEN WE PUSH THEM BACK TO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS BECAUSE THEY DON’T EVER JUST “GO AWAY”. 

I FINALLY SAW A THERAPIST AS AN ADULT FOR SOMETHING THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME AS A CHILD, IT WAS MORE DIFFICULT TO DRAG THE MEMORIES UP.  MANY DETAILS OF THIS SEXUAL ABUSE CAME OUT I HAD BLOCKED OUT OR FORGOTTEN OVER THE YEARS.  I LEARNED BECAUSE I HAD TOLD NO ONE AND THE EMOTIONAL WOUND CONTINUED TO FESTER, I WAS EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP.  THE SEXUAL ABUSE WAS DIRECTLY RELATED TO ME “HOLDING BACK” EMOTIONALLY.  IF YOU KEEP A SECRET TO YOURSELF, BE PREPARED TO DEAL WITH WHATEVER IT IS AT YOUR OWN CONSEQUENCES.  THE SECRETS WE KEEP ARE EVENTUALLY THE DETRIMENTS WE EXPERIENCE OFTEN WITHOUT CORRELATING THE TWO.  THAT IS WHY EMOTIONAL WOUNDS AS DEEP AS THE EXAMPLE I GAVE, NEED TO BE DEALT WITH BEST WITH A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST OR THERAPIST. 

IN TIME, WE DO HEAL.  WE RECOGNIZE DANGEROUS PATTERNS BEFORE THEY AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIPS.  WE THEN FIND STRENGTH WITHIN BECAUSE WE ARE GIVEN TOOLS AND SKILLS TO COPE WITH OUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS. 

THERE ARE MANY OTHER EXAMPLES I COULD USE, BUT I THINK YOU ALL GET THE GIST OF THIS.  WE MUST NOT STUFF IN OUR EMOTIONAL ABUSES OR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PHYSICAL ABUSE.  ONCE WE DEAL WITH THESE TRAGEDIES THROUGH WHATEVER STEPS NECESSARY TO LEARN COPING SKILLS, UNHEALTHY PATTERN RECOGNITION, AND WORK TOWARDS HEALING, WE GO FROM “VICTIM TO SURVIVOR”!  IN THE END, WE WIN.  THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING.   SAMANTHA/DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM. 

 

LIFE CAN BE FULL OF HAPPINESS OR TRAGEDY.  IT IS UP TO US TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES TO HEAL OUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS.  BENEATH THIS POST, THERE IS A PLACE TO “JOIN THE DISCUSSION”.  THE EXAMPLE I GAVE IS TRUE, BY THE WAY.  IF I CAN SHARE MY STORY, YOU CAN AS WELL.  I AM NO STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, OR SMARTER THAN YOU.  I JUST CHOSE TO FIND A SOLUTION.  PLEASE BE AWARE OF OUR “WISE ADVICE” WEBPAGE AS PART OF YOUR OVERALL MEMBERSHIP TO OUR WRITING COMMUNITY OF AUTHORS, POETS, AND OTHER CREATIVES.  NOT ONLY WILL WE HELP YOU BECOME THE WRITER YOU WANT TO BE, BUT WE ALSO DO IT BY OFFERING MANY OPTIONS INCLUDING MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATES WHO VOLUNTEER WITH 100 % CONFIDENTIALITY. 

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HEARTBREAK “DOES OUR HEART REALLY BREAK?

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WE ALL FEEL OR WILL FEEL WE HAVE A BROKEN HEART AT SOME POINT IN OUR LIFE UNLESS WE ARE NOT CAPABLE OF LOVE.  DOES THIS MEAN OUR HEART LITERALLY “BREAKS”?  I DO BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE A FEW SITUATIONS WHERE WE TRULY SEE A BROKEN HEART.  I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN WITH SOMEONE OLDER WHOSE PARTNER DIES.  THESE CASES END IN BOTH PEOPLE DYING OVER A PERIOD OF A MONTH AT THE LONGEST. 

THE OTHER PERSON THE PARTNER WAS MARRIED TO, OF COURSE ALSO SHARED THEIR LIFE TOGETHER FOR FIFTY TO SEVENTY YEARS.  THEY JUST CANNOT GET PAST THE MOMENTS, MINUTES, HOURS, AND DAYS LEADING INTO YEARS, DECADES, AND EVEN HALF CENTURIES OF TIME SPENT TOGETHER AND THE LOVE, CHILDREN, GREAT MEMORIES, AND HOPES AND DREAMS SHARED AND LOST OVER THE YEARS.  THEY CANNOT ADJUST BACK TO BEING ALONE.  THIS IS NOT TRUE FOR ALL COUPLES MARRIED THAT LONG. 

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WAS DATING THIS MAN WHO HAD BEEN PREVIOUSLY MARRIED RIGHT BEFORE HE MET HER FOR MANY YEARS.  SHE WAS SO TORN UP AND HEARTBROKEN AFTER GOING THROUGH A RECENT BREAKUP HERSELF, SHE WAS NOT SURE SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW MAN, SO WHEN HE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO HIS PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP TO SEE IF HE COULD STILL MAKE IT WORK, AND BE THE PERSON HE WAS WITHIN HIS EX-MARRIAGE, AND IRONICALLY, AFTER ONE WEEKEND OF BEING AROUND HIS EX-WIFE HE WENT RIGHT BACK TO MY FRIEND.   HE TOLD MY FRIEND, THAT GOING BACK TO HER ONLY REINFORCED HIS NEW LOVE WITH MY FRIEND.  TODAY THEY ARE MARRIED.   MY POINT IS ALL THE STRINGS AND PREVIOUS ATTACHMENTS WERE NOT STRONG OR LONG ENOUGH TO CAUSE THESE INDIVIDUALS TO HAVE A BROKEN HEART.  THEY CAN LEARN TO LOVE NEW PEOPLE.  IN CASES OF TRUE HEARTBREAK, THE TRUTH IS USUALLY SEEN IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LIGH

THESE COUPLES CAN SEE NO POSSIBILITY OF ANY FUTURE WITH ANYONE AGAIN SO THEY STOP EATING, OR DRINKING WATER AND ARE USUALLY DEAD WITHIN A MONTH OF THE OTHER PERSON DYING WHO WAS THEIR OTHER HALF.  LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE MEANING OF HEARTBREAK IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY AND THE DAILY WISDOM WORDS INFORMATION.  WEBSTER DEFINITION OF HEARTBREAK-1.  OVERWHELMING DISTRESS.  2.  A METEPHORE OR A FEELING OF A BROKEN HEART, OR FEELING OF REJECTION BY A LOVED ONE OF EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION.  DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF HEARTBREAK-1.  TWO HEARTS THAT LOVE ONE ANOTHER TO THE DEGREE THEY HAVE MERGED INTO ONE.   BECAUSE THEY HAVE MERGED, VERY MUCH AS TWINS SHARE SOMETHING IN A MOTHER WOMB, THEY HAVE GROWN TO SHARE ONE HEART AND WHEN THE OTHER HALF OF THAT HEART DIES, IT LEAVES THE OTHER PERSON UNABLE TO LIVE ANY KIND OF QUALITY LIFESTYLE BECAUSE THEY SHARE THE HEART AND THEIRS WILL NOT ADJUST AS IT NORMALLY WOULD IN MOST CASES WHERE THE HEARTS HAVE NOT BECOME ADJOINED IN SOME WAY.   

WHETHER WE BELIEVE IN AN ACTUAL “BROKEN HEART” REMAINS TO BE PROVEN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.  I THINK I HAVE SHARED MY VIEWPOINT.  I AM NOW ASKING FOR MY READERS TO SHARE THEIRS.   SCROLL DOWN BENEATH THE WRITING IN THIS ARTICLE, WHERE IS SAYS, “JOIN THE DISCUSSION” AND LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINION.  DO YOU BELIEVE IN A LITERAL BROKEN HEART?  IF YOU DO BELIEVE IN AN ACTUAL BROKEN HEART, DO YOU HAVE ANYH SUPPORTING STORIES SUCH AS SOMEONE WHO DIED SHORTLY AFTER THE LOVE OF THEIR LIFE DIED, SHARE THEM PLEASE!!!  IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN A LITERAL BROKEN HEART, PLEASE SHARE THIS AS WELL  YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF IT, BUT YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO TWEET OR POST ON FACEBOOK FROM THIS WEBSITE, DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM/BECOME-A-MEMBER.   IT IS AMAZING WHAT YOU CAN DO FROM THIS WEBSITE INCLUDING CREATE YOUR OWN PERSONAL MEDIA PROFILE, UPLOAD A PROFILE PHOTO, SHARE YOUR BIORGRAPHY, TWEET OR POST FROM MOST PAGES WITHIN THE WEBSTIE TO THE PUBLIC THROUGH SOON INSTAGRAM AS WELL.  YOU KNOW THAT IT IS IMPORTANT IF YOU ARE AN AUTHOR, OR POET, YOU MAY ALSO SHARE THE NEED IF YOUR NEW TO THE WRITING COMMUNITY TO REACH OUT TO A VETERAN MEMBER, AND ASK THEM TO MENTOR YOUL.  THEY ARE ALL VERY VERY NICE!  BECAUSE OUR MEMBERS ARE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, YOU CAN USE SOME SLEUTHING AND FIND ONE NEAR YOU TO SOME DEGREE.  A FELLOW AUTHOR MAY VERY WELL BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU THE GUIDANCE YOU NEED IF YOU FIND THE RIGHT ONE.   YOU CAN DIRECT MESSAGE PRIVATELY BACK AND FORTH WITH ALL MEMBERS, AND STAFF.  DEALING WITH WRITER’S BLOCK?  GO TO OUR WISE ADVICE PAGE AND SET UP AN ADVOCATE COUNSELING APPOINTMENT.   ARE YOU AN AUTHOR OR SONGWRITER, BUT NOT A POET?  YOU MAY WISH TO ORDER A BOOK REVIEW IF YOU ARE AN AUTHOR, OR A CUSTOM POEM AT OUR ONLINE STORE IF YOU ARE NOT A POET!!  OUR RECENT PARTNERSHIP WITH CHATTERBOX WALLS ALLOWS US TO SEND YOU A QUESTIONNAIRE WHICH SPECIFICALLY DEFINES THE PERSON YOU WISH US TO WRITE A POEM ABOUT.  FILL THIS DETAILED FORM OUT.  WE WILL CALL AND DISCUSS IT WITH YOU FOR UP TO A HALF HOUR TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE OF THE PERSON YOU WISH US TO WRITE A POEM ABOUT FOR EXAMPLE, YOUR NIECE.  WE WILL WRITE THE POEM AND SEND IT TO YOU.  WE RECOMMEND YOU GO BACK ONLINE AND TOTAL OUT WITH US, AND FINISH PROCESSING YOUR ORDER THROUGH OUR TRUSTED PARTNER, CHATTERBOX WALLS!  CHOOSE FROM A WIDE SELECTION OF SIZES AND HAVE YOUR POEM SET ON CANVAS OR WITHIN A FRAME ON VARIOUS COLORS OF PAPER AND DESIGNS.  CHATTERBOX WILL PROPERPLY PACKAGE YOUR TREASURED GIFT AND SEND IT TO YOUR NIECE.  SHE WILL BE SO HAPPY!!   TAKE PART IN OUR DAILY PROMPTS FOR ALL WRITERS AND BECOME A BETTER WRITER.  READ OUR MENTAL HEALTH ARTICLES. TAKE PART IN A Q AND A AFTER READING WISDOMOLOGY WITH NEEL TRIVEDI.  JOIN NOW FOR $10 FOR A LIFETIME!!   WE SUGGEST VISITING THE WEBSITE TO SIGN UP AT DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM/BECOME-A-MEMBER!!  JOIN TODAY….IT IS THE BEST INVESTMENT YOU WILL EVER MAKE IN YOUR WRITING CAREER

REGRETS

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OFTENTIMES IN LIFE, WE FEEL REGRET.  PERHAPS WE HAVE NOT BECOME THE PERSON WE IMAGINED OURSELVES TO BE.  PERHAPS WE HAVE HOPES AND DREAMS WE NEVER FULFILLED.  MAYBE WE WISH WE COULD SIMPLY PRESS A BUTTON AND DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.  WE THINK OF MANY THINGS DAILY WE MIGHT HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY OR HANDLED DIFFERENTLY, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, WE DON’T GET DO-OVERS.  AS I WRITE THIS, I THINK OF ALL OF THE TIMES I HAVE SHARED A DAILY WISDOM WORD WITH YOU, AND HONESTLY HOPED IN SOME WAY IT TOUCHED YOU OR PERHAPS YOU IDENTIFIED WITH MY WRITING FEELING A CONNECTION IN SOME WAY.  WE ALL CAN ALWAYS TAKE A STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE TO LOOK FOR REGRETS.  TO OFTEN IN LIFE, WE WAKE UP ONE DAY AND REALIZE WE ARE SIMPLY TOO OLD TO DIG OUT A CRINKLED BUCKET LIST.  IF WE COULD GO BACK, WE KNOW WE WOULD DO IT A DIFFERENT WAY, BUT WE CAN’T.  ALL WE CAN DO IS HOPE THAT IN THE DAYS THAT FOLLOW, WE DON’T CONTINUE TO WASTE TIME.  I THINK THE LAST THING WE ALL WANT IS TO LOOK BACK AND SAY, “IT IS TOO BAD I DIDN’T DO THIS OR THAT LIKE I ALWAYS PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD.  HOW DO WE GET OFF TRACK, TO BEGIN WITH?  I THINK WE DON’T REALIZE FIRST OF ALL JUIST HOW FAST TIME PASSES.  IT MOVES ON SO QUICKLY AND HONESTLY, THE OLDER I GET, WITH LESS STRUCTURE AND PRESSURE IN MY DAY, THE LESS I FEEL I GET DONE.  I THINK WITH THE CURRENT PANDEMIC, AND THE NEW STRAIN OF THE CORONAVIRUS-19, WE ALL HAVE MORE TIME TO CONTEMPLATE OUR LIFE ALTOGETHER.  AS WE GET OLDER, IF WE HAVE CHILDREN, WE SEE THEM GROW UP.  WE FIND OURSELVES LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THEM WARNING THEM OF LIFE LESSONS IN ADVANCE THEY PROBABLY WILL NEED TO EXPERIENCE FOR THEMSELVE.S. MY POINT IN ALL OF THIS, IS FOR YOU TO FEEL DIFFERENTLY THAN I DO AND NOT FEEL THE NEED TO DO A DO-OVER.  WE WILL NOT EVER MOST LIKELY GET THOSE “DO-OVERS” SO WHAT WE CAN DO IS TO LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST.  I OFTEN WORRY MY GROWN SON AND DAUGHTER AND HER FAMILY TAKES TOO MANY CHANCES.  YET, BECAUSE OF THE RISK/REWARD BENEFIT MOST OF THE TIME THEY GET LUCKY.  I NEED TO FEEL I AM NOT STEPPING OFF A LEDGE TO LAND IN AN ABYSS.  I NEED THE SECURITY AND INSURATY OF KNOWING THE OUTCOME.  THE THING ABOUT LIFE WE ALL LEARN IS THE BEST OF PLANNING OR AVOIDANCE OF LIVING LIFE ALTOGETHER DOESN’T GUARANTEE THE CHANCES WE WOULD TAKE REGARDLESS.  LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THE WEBSTER DEFINITION FOR REGRETS AND THE DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION.  WEBSTER DEFINITION OF REGRETS-1.  FEELING SAD, REPENTANT, OR DISAPPOINTED OVER SOMETHING THAT HAS HAPPENED OR BEEN DONE, ESPECIALLY A LOSS OR MISSED OPPORTUNITY.  2.  A FEELING OF SADNESS, REPENTANCE, OR DISAPPOINTMENT OVER SOME THINGS WE SIMPLY CAN’T CHANGE.   DAILY WISDOM WORDS DEFINITION OF REGRETS-THE FEELING OF LOSS EXPERIENCED OVER THINGS THAT WE HAVE CHOSEN WE MIGHT CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY IF WE COULD CHOOSE AGAIN.  I MUST BE HONEST.  It’s HARD TO BELIEVE I AM 56 YEARS OLD, AND SO DIFFERENT AS THE YEARS GO ON.  MUCH OF WHAT GOES ON FOR ME NOW IS AFFECTED BY THIS PANDEMIC.  I HAVE AN UNDERLYING HEALTH CONDITION AND A FEAR OF GETTING THIS VIRUS.  I HAVE TO WONDER IF REGRET ISN’T FELT ON A GLOBAL SCALE RIGHT NOW, ON JANUARY 11, 2021 WITH WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST WEEK IN JANUARY WHEN OUR SENATE WAS SIMPLY CONFIRMING THE ELECTORAL VOTES CERTIFIED BY EACH STATE.  SO MANY SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN HAD SIGNED ON TO OBJECT TO WHAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A ROUTINE PROCEDURE.  INSTEAD, A RIOT WAS INCITED BY OUR LEADERSHIP AND ASSAULT ON THE WHITEHOUSE.  IT IS TERRIFYING.   THERE IS ENOUGH REGRET TO GO AROUND FOR EACH PERSON WHO HAS BLOOD ON THEIR HANDS.  I FIND WHAT HAS HAPPENED A SYMBOL OF THE VERY DEFINITION OF REGRET ON A GLOBAL LEVEL.  SO VERY SAD TO LOOK BACK STARTING EACH SENTENCE WITH, “I WISH I COULD HAVE OR WOULD HAVE DONE XYZ DIFFERENTLY.  SOMETIMES WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT OUR REGRETS ARE CHOICES MADE FOR WHAT WE FEEL WE ARE CAPABLE OF AT THAT TIME, AND THAT WE MAY NOT BE THE ONLY ONE REGRETTING A CHOICE WE MADE SINCE SOME CHOICES WE REGRET DO INVOLVE OTHERS.  THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING ABOUT REGRET TODAY.  IF YOU LEARN ONE LESSON FROM ME, TAKE THE REGRET LESSON WITH YOU SO YOU DON’T WAKE UP OFTEN WISHING THINGS HAD BEEN OR WERE OR ARE DIFFERENT THAN WHAT WE CHOSE.  MOST OF YOU READING THIS WILL BE YOUNG ENOUGH TO “GO FOR IT” WHENEVER ONE OF OUR DREAMS COULD HAVE A POSSIBILITY OF FLOURISHING INTO REALITY.  WHY WISH DIFFENTELY AT ANOTHER PERIOD IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU EITHER FEEL IT IS TOO LATE TO CHANGE THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD DONE, OR YOU ARE NOW TOO AFRAID TO TRY.  I OFTEN DON’T FOLLOW MY OWN HEARTFELT ADVICE BUT KNOW I WOULD NOT SHARE THIS ADVICE WITH YOU WITHOUT ME FEELING PRETTY SURE OF WHAT I SUGGEST.  THANKS AGAIN FOR READING, SAMANTHA LEBOEUF/DAILYWISDOMWORDS.COM

Don’t regret not doing what you could to make yourself be the best you can with your writing ability.  one way you an be comfortable you are not passing over things that can bring you more publicity and all the things a writing community can offer including mentoring and the advice of other writers/member.  Join daily wisdom words today for just $10 for a lifetime…no monthly dues after sign up fee of $10.  Visit our website to sign up now!  before you go, scroll down beneath this and “join the discussion”.  leave a poem, quote of some advice for us yourself you may have.  thanks so much, and I do respond to your comments.  Thanks again

Other daily wisdom words you may like:  CONCLUSIONS “EVENTUALLY, EVERYTHING ENDS”(Opens in a new browser tab)

 

GOSSIP “FEELING GOOD, THEN BAD ABOUT YOU”

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GOSSIP IS PROMINENT AT THIS TIME IN OUR WORLD.  WHY DO WE THINK THIS MIGHT BE?  FIRST OF ALL, ALL OF US ARE INSIDE OUR HOMES MORE THAN EVER.  HAVING TIME ON OUR HANDS can lead to trouble.  When we don’t wish to look at our own flaws, we may find ourselves gossiping about someone else’s.  Regardless of how, when, or why we are gossiping, it is not a healthy habit to build upon.  Gossiping not only eventually hurts others, but it also hurts us.  What kind of individual do we feel in our hearts we are?  One that speaks about another’s negativity to avoid their own flaws will eventually hurt themselves. 

Along with gossiping, if we have some form of conscience, we feel bad about ourselves after we talk negatively to another about other people.  I believe gossip directly reflects on our own character and who we are.  What are other reasons people gossip about others?  They may legitimately have feelings of negativity and feel they need to say what is on their mind.  Some things are better left “unsaid”.  How would we feel if we were a third party to a conversation that centered on negative comments about us?  We would be hurt, and certainly would not have faith in this person for being a friend.   

Life is short as it is.  Surely there are more productive things to do or say than “gossip” about another even if we feel what we are saying is true.  There are boundaries we need to respects as we would expect others to respect.  What comes around does go around, and talking about someone else derogatorily is not productive and hurts that person, and eventually, YOU.  I think when we are busy judging others, we are wasting time that would be better spent on improving the flaws we have ourselves.  Let us take a look at the definition of gossip in our Webster Dictionary and the Daily Wisdom Word Definition.   

Webster Definition of Gossip-1. Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed to be true.  2.  A person who likes talking about other people’s private lives. 

Daily Wisdom Word Definition-Talking or sharing details that may or may not be true about another individual or individual(s) usually done or shared with others when one is insecure about their own issues.  

Gossip not only hurts others, but it also is not productive, yet we may find ourselves gossiping regardless of others.  Not only does gossip “spread” it’s often repeated from the person we initially shared the gossip with to others. The words we initially used are often twisted out of proportion or “added to” for drama and animation.  Thanks so much for reading about gossip today.  I hope if you find yourself gossiping, this article will give you many reasons not to.  Samantha Leboeuf/Dailywisdomwords.com

 

other daily wisdom words you may enjoy:  http://dailywisdomwords.com/wisdomology/im-flawed-thats-okay/

SINCERITY

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Our Daily Wisdom Word today is:  Sincerity.  How does being sincere or sincerity reflect from our character?  Sincerity is a sign that someone has integrity and can interact with others comfortably as who they are.  When someone with sincerity says something or makes a promise, you know they will follow through with their word.  If a person with sincerity is asked a question, you can be comfortable in knowing that they speak the truth.  Truth, integrity, sincerity, are all very important wisdom words.  When one cannot be sincere, sadly, they may also lack rigorous honesty and capability to be truthful.  If we can’t trust in the person one presents themselves to be in every aspect, we assume they lack sincerity. 

Let us take a look at the meaning of sincerity in our Webster Dictionary.  Webster Dictionary meaning of Sincerity-1.  The quality of being free from pretense, deceit, or hypocrisy.

 Daily Wisdom Word Definition of Sincerity-1.  one who is righteous in character, honesty as well as genuine.  

I feel having sincerity is a must when I interact with others. I decide if I wish to be friends with them, have any kind of further interaction with them or have a relationship with them in any capacity based on sincerity.  I feel they must be genuine to be honest.  Because we are all human, when we do make a mistake, by being sincere and taking ownership of this mistake, it leaves the door open for them to remain in a relationship with us if they choose.  A sincere person is one who not only has character, but they are comfortable with themselves and who they are. 

Sincere individuals do they very best to do what is right.  They hold passion in what they believe.  Sincerity has become harder to see or find with others because our world is based on pretenses.  If someone cannot be sincere with you or is not real when they are around you, they may be incapable of sincerity.   showing and having sincerity gives us a message we can respect them.  To expect another to be sincere, we must be sincere ourselves.  Digging deeper into yourself, ask yourself if you are a sincere person. Oftentimes when we are sincere, we anticipate and assume others are as well.  Sincerity is not always a given.  Sometimes when others we care about let us down and can’t own up to it, for example, a lie they may tell us, and this pattern repeats itself, yet we choose to expect them to be sincere, we are choosing to stay in a relationship where we are always disappointed.  It takes “sincerity” to be or have the tools to show who you are at the very least knowing your strengths and weaknesses.  Sincerity is one way we judge others when deciding they have integrity.  I believe having others around you who are sincere, you can interact with them on a deeper level.  Ask yourself how you rate your own sincerity.  Are you real with others?  Are you truthful?   When you make a mistake, can you own up to it, learn from it and not repeat it again?  These are all very important questions and qualities to admire when we meet the individuals who have sincerity.  

Thanks so much for reading.  I would love to hear your answers in the comments section beneath this post to questions I have posed, or what your own thoughts are with sincerity and its role in any relationship.  We would love to have you be a member of our Writer’s Community.  Join until the end of the year for a lifetime, and we will make you a better writer?  We do this through daily writing prompts, honest book reviews, articles to learn from, a personal profile, allowing yo to befriend other members and message with them.  Join today for just $10.  Samantha Leboeuf

Other daily wisdom word posts you may like:  http://dailywisdomwords.com/daily-wisdom-words/attributes/

BIRTHDAY WISHES “DEDICATED TO MY LOVELY NIECE”

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THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND SADNESS, AND UPS AND DOWNS.  TODAY, IS MY BEAUTIFUL NIECES’ BIRTHDAY.  AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, SHE LOST HER MOTHER THIS YEAR, JUST A LITTLE OVER THREE MONTHS AGO.  GRIEF HAS STAGES OR SO THEY SAY.  PERHAPS ITS TRUE, BUT I BELIEVE WE ALL GRIEVE UNIQUELY.  

A Birthday is a day to celebrate our life.  I cannot imagine how my niece must feel not having her mother today.  I think, however, she still should have as happy of a day as possible.  I publish this for her, today, 10/11/2020, her birthday.  It is so difficult to explain who Luma is.  She is a one of a kind individual, gifted and bright.  She is a wise soul, way beyond her years.  It would not be uncommon although I am her aunt, for me to ask Luma for advice.  She seems to have many of the answers I struggle with.  

Her mother’s passing however, is not something we have any answers for.  I think I will go into what makes Luma so special.  When she was younger, she played with my daughter and son, her cousins.  They always got along well.  Luma simply “stood” apart.  Wise beyond her years, she could see a full picture when most of us only see part of one when evaluating life.  

Luma lived with me for a brief time when she was 13 years old.  Not only did she give awesome advice, she made a mean spaghetti!  She is amazing, and her mother knew. just how special she is.  I truly believe there is some kind of brightness or shine within her soul.  She is extremely beautiful, physically resembling Uma Thurman, but she is not in any way, conceited.  Luma has always known the path to beauty is “internal”.  Luma, despite being physically beautiful, is the first to say such kind things when I feel down.  Recently, I have put weight on.  Luma is the first to reassure me that I still am beautiful.  She will do my makeup, making me look as good as possible.  She will listen, and accomplishes so many things, it shakes me to the core. 

If you were to look at Luma’s pictures when she was a baby, and when she was growing up in childhood, people often said, “Wow, you (meaning myself), and your daughter look so much alike!”  Not only did we look alike when she was younger, we “think” alike.  She can instantly tell where my emotions are at and actually empathizes with my feelings.  I don’t deserve such a wonderful niece, but I could not be more grateful for her.  She has grown into an “amazing woman” sharing kindness, goodness and a special light with others.  

I am not the only one who Luma is special to.  She and my brother are very close.  Luma is one of the few individuals who is like a second daughter to him and he would lay down his life for her.  Luma, FYI, I would also do the same.  

I feel your pain, hon but believe that you will get through to the other side of this.  As I said, once before. right after your mom passed away,  “You will never stop missing and loving your mother, but you will be able to cope with it and deal with her loss.”  I believe this will happen for you and pray every day for your happiness.  You once told me, Luma, “Aunt Sam, You are stronger than you think”.  I believe the same is true for you, my beautiful niece.  You know there is an open ticket waiting just for you, hon to come and visit.  I hope you know just how special you are, and your mother thought you were, and everyone in your life who you touch feels this way.  Happy Birthday, Luma…….I love you with all of my heart, and am here for you anytime, day or night.  Aunt Sam

 

HURT BY JOHNNY CASH

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LYRICS

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here…
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I couldn’t not help but remember MRBASSINYOURBASS the moment I saw this video on YouTube. It’s a lovely song that comes out of a heart so true.
-Listen to song
-Compose a poem inspired by song
-Share with us

 

SOMEONE YOU LOVED BY LEWIS CAPALDI

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LYRICS

I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It’s easy to say
But it’s never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It’s easy to say but it’s never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I’ll be safe in your sound ’til I come back around
For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
But now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
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Trust me when I say that this song is worth listening to. In fact, I am going to look other songs by this artist .
I’m doing this because I love the song and I am very sure you will love it as well.
-Listen to song
-Compose a poem inspired by song
-Share with us

 

PAIN

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PAIN IS AS MUCH OF A PART OF LIFE AS PLEASURE IS.  PAIN IS A PART OF TEACHING US THINGS GOOD AND BAD.  SOMETIMES IT IS AS SIMPLE AS A YOUNG CHILD CLIMBING UP ON A STOVE THAT IS ON TO HEAT UP A TEA KETTLE BECAUSE THEY ARE CURIOUS.  THE CHILD TOUCHES THE HOT STOVE AND PAIN IS PART OF WHAT THEY LEARN;  DO NOT TOUCH A HOT STOVE OR YOU WILL GET BURNED.   PAIN IS ALSO A PART OF LOVE WHEN IT DOES NOT WORK OUT.  WE FEEL SAD AND IN PAIN WHEN WE GO THROUGH A BREAK UP AND THIS HAS TO DO WITH ONE WHEN THEY ARE LEARNING FOR THE FIRST TIME, THAT PAIN CAN BE EMOTIONAL, TOO.  IT CAN HURT US EMOTIONALLY OFTEN TIMES MORE THAN PHYSICALLY.  BEFORE GOING ANY FURTHER, LET US LOOK AT THE DEFINITION OF PAIN IN OUR WEBSTER DICTIONARY.  

WEBSTER DEFINITION OF PAIN-PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT OR INJURY CAUSED BY ILLNESS OR INJURY.  2.  MENTAL SUFFERING OR DISTRESS. 3.  AN ANNOYING TEDIOUS PERSON OR THING.  

A PAIN, AS REFERRED TO IN THE LAST PORTION OF THE DAILY WISDOM WORD DEFINITION OF PAIN- 1.  PAIN IS SOMETHING WE FEEL INSIDE EITHER EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY AND IT HURTS EITHER WAY IN A CERTAIN AREA OF OUR BODIES.  IF OUR HEART IS BROKEN, THEN IT IS OUR HEART THAT HURTS.  IF WE HURT OURSELVES PHYSICALLY, WE HAVE PAIN IN THAT PARTICULAR AREA WHERE WE HURT OURSELVES AT ;  FOR EXAMPLE, IF WE HIT OUR KNEE AGAINST THE DOOR, THAN WE HURT OUR KNEE.  

SOMETIMES, EMOTIONALLY, WE FEEL A PAIN OR VOID INSIDE OURSELVES THAT IS ALSO PAINFUL.  YOU ALL HAVE PROBABLY FELT THIS KIND OF PAIN BEFORE .  SOMETIMES YOU FEEL THIS WHEN YOUR IN SHOCK AND YOUR BODY IS ONLY GOING TO GRAVITATE TO THE MINIMUM SADOMASOCHISTIC  TYPE OF PAIN WE CAN HANDLE AND AS WE START COMING OUT OF AN ACCIDENT SUCH AS A CAR ACCIDENT OR PAIN FELT WITH ANY KIND OF PERIL OUR LIVES MAY INTRODUCE.  FINALLY, LET US TALK ABOUT THE UNEXPECTED PAIN WE WERE NOT PREPARED TO FOR WHEN NATURAL DISASTER STRIKES SUCH AS WITH COVID-19.  WE DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS KIND OF PAIN BECAUSE WE WERE NOT AT ALL EXPECTING IT AND ALL OF US FEEL IT IN ONE DEGREE OR ANOTHER.  PEOPLE THAT GET THE ACTUAL DISEASE, FEEL IT IN THEIR BONES AND MUSCLES IN THE FORM OF A FLU.  PEOPLE WATCHING OTHERS THEY CARE ABOUT,GET A SECONDARY EMPATHETIC PAIN CAUSED FROM COVID-19 PAIN.    WE NEED TO BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF THE DAYS WE DID NOT FEEL PAIN BUT TOOK FOR GRANTED.  THOSE ARE THE DAYS WE WILL NEVER GET BACK AND THE FEELINGS WE FELT DURING THEIR PASSING.  THERE ARE TIMES RIGHT NOW, I PERSONALLY WONDER IF OUR WORLD IS COMING TO AN END.

OTHER DAILY WISDOM WORDS THAT MAY INTEREST YOU:  http://dailywisdomwords.com/suspicion/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

BANDAIDS

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We all use bandaids throughout our life to cover our hurts and pain.  In this Daily Wisdom Words post, bandaids will be used metaphorically.  Bandaids in the physical sense, are placed over cuts or wounds or scars and scratches on our bodies.  I am referring to the bandaids we place on our emotional pain.  Bandaids are not meant to heal a wound.  Bandaids are simply a cover until the wound heals on its own.  Emotionally, these wounds and scars don’t heal on their own.  They need treatment, or therapy of some kind so that a cover can be placed over them.  

Too often in life, we get hurt by many people, emotional events that happen to us, and scars caused by trauma.  Bandaids, unfortunately, is not a cure. They simply place a temporary instrument over the wound until it stops bleeding.  We need to stop the bleeding with emotions so we don’t do the quickest thing we think of:  Use a bandaid.  Some wounds require more than a bandaid such as physical, mental or verbal abuse.  These are wounds that require talking to a professional or getting support through friends and family members, journaling, and the job of healing these kinds of wounds take time.  We must take this time required to stop these wounds from turning into scars on our hearts.  

What are the consequences when we have a wound that requires “surgery” and we allow it to heal on its own?  The answer is these wounds do not heal and in the future, interacting in a new relationship, they play a role in your interaction with another person you have a relationship with.  Wounds requiring surgery where bandaids will not do the trick must be given the time to heal.  Emotional wounds may even require stitches, which is an analogy for therapy, journaling, talking this through with support groups and building a strong support system.

Let us take a look at the Webster Definition of Bandaids and our Daily Wisdom Word definition.  

Webster Definition of Bandaids-An adhesive bandage with a gauze pad in the center used to cover minor wounds.  2.  a makeshift or temporary solution

Daily Wisdom Word Definition-  (very close to definition 2 from the Webster Dictionary). 1.  Something we use to emotionally hide and cover wounds from trauma, emotional abuse, physical abuse or hurt and pain.

Bandaids will only cover emotional wounds.  They always form scars if not dealt with and simply covered up.  What is your biggest emotional wound?  Have you gone through the proper healing process to fully heal this wound, or do you allow your wounds to simply, “stop bleeding on their own using a bandaid to cover them up”?  This article should give us all something to think about.  The consequences of not healing these wounds play out in our interactions with others, and our future relationships.

Think about this, and please leave a comment on your feelings about this post.  Do you use bandaids to heal deep wounds needing stitches or do you take the steps that are necessary to fully heal them?  Leave a comment in the “join the discussion area directly beneath this post.  Thanks so much for reading.

Join Daily Wisdom Words today and start your month off with a change.  We offer complimentary counseling and public forums with our very own Dr. Shanni Dover, a Psychologist who is giving her time to help all of us.  She will know what direction to send you, and is available to refer you to one of our mental health advocates if you would like private counseling, and has an open forum between 3-6pm Sunday’s Pacific time.  Samantha LeBoeuf/DWW

TRAGEDY

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How do we deal with  personal tragedies in our lives, especially when we don’t expect it and are hit with it on a day that seems to be going just fine? Tragedy can either make us or break us as individuals and we can either cope with it, and get stronger, or lose ourselves in it.

Let us take a look at the meaning of tragedy in our Webster Dictionary before going any further.

Tragedy-An event causing great suffering, destruction and distress such as a loss, serious accident, crime or natural catastrophe.

Daily Wisdom Word Definition of tragedy-Sadness and suffering caused by any form of loss including death, an ending of a relationship, or unexpected accident.

Tragedy comes in all forms and we have to find a way to cope with it.  I have written on loss and endings before, but tragedy in an all-encompassing word for all of this.  It hurts our hearts and is so painful, especially when the tragedy is personal, up close and real.

World tragedy happens all of the time.  We just recently had two mass shootings over one weekend by people motivated by racial tragedy.  This has hurt our Nation and our false belief that we are invincible and safe.  World tragedies like this, have not warning, usually and hit us out of left field, sometimes when we least expect it.  World tragedy affects all of us, and makes us feel a little less sure of our control on life.

Personal tragedy is the hardest I believe, because you must COPE with immediate changes and sadness you feel from them especially when you lose someone you love.  Sometimes personal tragedy takes form in a break-up or death.  When this happens, especially with no warning, our immediate circumstances CHANGE FOREVER and we feel them from our bones.

Our hearts break and we often ask the question, WHY?  Why did this have to happen to us?  It is important to mention that how we cope with tragedy and how sensitive we are has much to do with the way we survive it.  A break-up with someone you love can cause great personal tragedy.  A death of a loved one can cause tragedy and loss as well.  A personal break-up can feel like the end of the world, but we do have a choice with how we cope with it.

We must make the best of tragedies.  At the end of every thunderstorm there is often a rainbow that follows, full of color and beauty.  Sometimes, it takes tragedies to make us stronger or to see CHANGE.  REAL CHANGE.  We have to look inside them and find the lesson they hold, as well as cope with the devastating loss, no matter what it is.

Many of us think we are in control of everything.  However, that is simply an illusion.  Bad things continue to happen around us even if it is not to us, directly.

LOSS, especially personal of those we love, is to myself the hardest, but my life is not over.  Who is to say what the next thing to happen is in my life that may make me realize this is not the worst thing in the world?

Thanks so much for reading about tragedy today.  PLEASE, I urge you to “join the discussion” beneath this article, and give us your thoughts on tragedy.  Thanks so much for reading, and have a beautiful and blessed day.dd

By the way, if you’re reading this article, you are already on the Daily Wisdom Words Website.  Since your visiting already, as this is a site for Poets, Authors and Writers, and the Daily Wisdom Words blog is just part of what we offer.  We have picture poetry everyday other than Sunday, as well as Neel’s Wisdomology which is a post with sound, practical subjects and advice you can participate in including a quote or poem or with a comment.  You may also have a Book review done which we post on two different areas of our Website.  Please review our site and become the latest member of our family for just $10 for a lifetime.  This site promotes literacy and your new membership also supports a good cause.

Samantha LeBoeuf/DWW