Deception: What exactly does it mean, and how do we best describe it?
The Webster, best describes it, as the “art” of craftiness, trickery.
Daily Wisdom Word Definition: The means and motive of deliberately deceiving oneself, or another. a coping mechanism one uses with ones self to protect themselves from emotional or mental trauma. 3. Deception with purpose and deliberate avoidance used to justify ones behavior.The veil of lying with a purpose of intent.
I break deception down into three types:
Self-Deception, also known as self-denial. Why, we ask ourselves, would I be dishonest with myself? Looking at this objectively, we wouldn’t, but, when our emotions enter into the mix, for instance, love, things can change drastically. If we are in love with someone, and they lie, but insight tells us the truth, we ignore it. Another example of self-deception, is us, emotionally not ready to face the truth we know in own mind, such as being abused, we push to our sub-conscious, and consciously, we may have no idea, this has happened. This is often witnessed in children, and happens much more than any of us would care to admit, or even amnesia. the avoidance of a substance or something we’re addicted to negatively affecting our life.
Truama induced self-deception. We, often are not aware of this kind of self- deception, but our own mind creates it, so we may cope. We will accept, and face the truth, when we are mentally ready to or when our mind decides we are ready to begin to through counseling, or self-help groups. This is often a fact witnessed in mentally or emotionally, or sexually abused children. This kind of self-deception, also is a form of denial and sometimes, as children, this is again, a coping mechanism, especially if we are still being exposed to this abuse. This kind of self-deception in much more common then society would like to accept, but, is fact. Other Examples, of this, are trauma induced more often in children than adults, but does happen to both to protect an overload of circuits related to coping mechanisms as well, as healing in our mind. Self deception is often a protective mechanism, and is without malice, or ill will to others or ourselves. In fact, the truth, comes eventually in small emotional packages as we get stronger from whatever trauma caused this.
Self-Deception by choice, conscious or sub-conscious: This form of Self-deception involves a “choice we make” to believe another, due to our feelings or emotions in stark contrast when our instinct, and intuition believe otherwise. This can also be a “subconscious” choice we make when emotions lead our judgement. We deliberately deceive ourselves, when we fall in love with the wrong individual, for example. This type of self-deception is a battle between our “logic and our intuition as well as the other person, who is lying to us.” We, are too emotionally involved with the individual, who is either outright lying, or omitting, which is another form of being deliberately deceitful, that they feel better about using for some reason, but it is still a form of dishonest and our judgement is impaired because of these factors.
The main reason this kind of self-deception so often happens to the wisest of us, is because: We in our hearts tend to believe we love the person and like us, they tell the truth. This is a very common misconception we all make at one time or another. “We believe, based on our own set of morals and values, that others believe the same way we do and, operate off of our same principles as well”. I have learned through my own errors in judgement this is not the case, most everytime.
Avoidance Deception: used to avoid facing needing help with an addiction. Self denial is what most addicts or alcoholics live with on a daily basis not getting help for their addiction.
Self-deception, often occurs, when an internal struggle going on within;, a sort of internal argument between our conscious reasoning, and their voice mixed with our instinct, (see wisdom word post), instinct, using reasoning, to justify what we are either being told, us trying to convince our intuition of what is true, but facing the TRUTH can be a painful process! We may not even be aware of this, but between our intuition: (see wisdom word post) or inner truth, which clearly has a voice or inner voice, telling us one thing, while logically, not only the other person, but ourselves as well, even repeat it, so we over-ride what is actually true because we want to believe the best. In this case, another individual is deceiving us, and we “cloud our judgement”, allowing our emotions to lead the way.
Another reason this often happens, is because we are good in nature ourselves and all of us, think others think or have the same moral and belief system we do. This isn’t accurate in these cases,
Another kind of self-denial I have dealt with and witnessed,which I’ve rarely see in another, is an adult who deliberately, to avoid taking any accountability for his part in many deceitful situations, actually calls the other party, “the abuser”, projecting the blame onto the other for the lies he has told, and believes himself to be the one who was deceived. I am still trying to understand this one, and would appreciate any comments, or stories you wish to share along with questions answered as best as I am able!
This type of self denial, I have only encountered once and can only assess that this self-denial needed to be in denied as he lacked the appropriate coping skills to face the truth about himself and his actions. This individual does his/her best to be “perfect” to all, and in order to do this, and be selfish and satisfy all his needs as well, he has other relationships, for he believes one woman cannot satisfy him inside, and the adult, who handles inner needs, remains a child inside him, so it remains true, unless that changes.” I only can guess what caused this, which would be past trauma he faced, as well as the “inability to face the truth, that not only was he not perfect, but others were not as well, and we do not abandon ship at the first sign of this, but he remained in denial, and probably still is in it to this day”.
“A good piece of who we are today, was developed long ago in childhood and, perhaps there was abuse, and one child, grows up fine, but another, due to their sensitive nature uses denial and self-deception in adult-hood often to cope with reality.”
How do we decide with any relationship when choosing truth or denial with their words? Our intuition, or inner truth, rarely but not always, has shown us we may be wrong, but we, logically have no “evidence” to prove we exactly why we have a feeling inside, to disbelieve them. Why? Our intuition, or inner truth, rarely but not always, has shown us our truth and others in the past, yet we, logically have no “evidence” to prove exactly why we have a feeling inside, that they are being dishonest.
Another piece of daily wisdom can be found in this fact alone: “When believing others, because we would be truthful in the same situation, we “assume” that the other operate from the same moral and value system we do, so we base our”conclusions” when assessing their truthfulness on ourselves.. IN reality, it is highly unlikely truth is your truth, if your sincere, and they are not. (emotional involvement clouds our judgment) uniqueness calls for small or large differences in our own moral and value system when interacting with another, they most often, are not using the same moral compass as yourself. For example, If we lie, we assume the other lies, and vice versa.
This is our inner judgement base, and we decide the truthfulness by making a decision to believe them, or ourselves. Why? Our intuition, or inner truth, rarely but not always, has shown us we may be wrong, but we, logically have no “evidence” to prove we exactly why we have a feeling inside, to disbelieve them.
Emotions also can mislead the way with our family, when one may lie to us, so they are someone we trust and we least expect would lie to us. Perhaps, they are trying to save our feelings, from the truth, but there is still our inner-voice, although confident in their love,that may give us the feeling they aren’t for some altruistic reason, being forthright.
Having a spiritual connection, for me, with God, often helps in remembering the life lessons I have learned, and what is written above, was often accompanied with a grave amount of hurt and pain, when learning them, but they have helped me to grow, internally. I believe that God only gives us what we are able to cope with, and he knows what dose we can take and measures it carefully, within because facing truth, can be painful. “I also believe that wisdom is learned through our experiences, as well as our mistakes, and successes, and we can only create wisdom with knowledge that is powerful, and truth which is humble.” and through “self-awareness we use, all packed up in our “Toolbox for life. SL
LETS play Wisdom Wordology!!
“Wisdom Wordology” is a Game that is a brain teaser, and so much fun as well as easy to play! For instance the daily wisdom word, was DECEPTION written on above.
How to play: using only the first letter of each letter of the word, in the order it is spelled, you must use each of the letters, in the correct order of spelling, to create a wisdophrase, also know as the meaning of the word, and this meaning is expressed is Daily Wisdom Word Post! Reading the post, is very helpful because it gives you an idea, of what I am looking for. I have an example down at the bottom for “DECEPTION”, and any of the daily wisdom words written on, starting with the 101st post, will have a Wisdogram to follow.
rules of the game:
1.you cannot use a derivative of the daily wisdom word in your creation of the wisdogram. For example, deception: deceiving, deceived, deception, (wisdoword) to write your meaning out.
2. The “wisdophrase” must make sense and commas are aloud.
3. words are aloud to be used more than once, in the wisdophrase you create, such as and, or , it, ETC.,
4. You absolutely must, have fun!!!
Please send your answer to the emaihttps://dailywisdomwords.coml address below, and I will decide within 72 hours after the post, which wisdogram is best suited for the daily wisdom word meaning, and post the answer on bottom of the “daily wisdom word” post it applies to and acknowledge the winner if they so choose to leave even a first name! Don’t be shy! This is fun fun fun…
Please email me your answers to: Samantha@www.dailywisdomwords.com or post on my website at https://dailywisdomwords.com Please don’t get discouraged. It took me at least four hours to figure out a wisdophrase for deception!