The worst decision I ever made, was approximately, 18 years ago.
I had just turned 20 years old. A man, whom I was best friends with, asked me to move to Texas and work towards marriage! I had tried college, sales, and the “timing” of his request was perfect. I made a “decision” to accept his offer, and moved from Arizona to Texas. We were married, 3 months later.
We had made many great decisions together. We had two children, first, my son, and then, 3 years
later my daughter. We had started out, gathering “saved coins”, to buy a pizza, and
the wonderful thing was, no one could ever accuse me of marrying him for his money,
because when we started out, we had none!
However, that changed rapidly. I worked with him, part-time, but staying home, raising our children, was my main priority. We lived in Texas at the time, and I had even managed talking my family into
moving to Texas; My mom and dad, brother, and for a short period of time, my little sister.
We were successful in every way: Our mutual faith in God, Blessed with a boy and girl, beautiful home, genuine love for each other, although we did argue a lot! I dabbled in real estate, and managed to make money, off of each house we bought, resulting, after 5 years, and 4 moves, our final move, to a huge home with pool and Jacuzzi, we had designed, from sticks to bricks!
My husband, after two years, was a VP with his company. He hired my brother, who did very well, and ended up with an equal position at this company. Sadly, greed, jealousy, and competition,
came to mean more to both of them, instead of the love between family, which was why we wanted him to move to Texas to begin with, a decision we made, out of LOVE.
Long story short: Over a span of five years, we were wealthy in every way. two beautiful kids, our family near us, as we wanted, good marriage, and instead of being on our knees with
gratitude, thanking God, everyday, counting our blessings, we were focused on who could get the bosses attention the quickest: My brother and his wife were doing the same, and I watched, in sadness, as a series of decisions, ruined our lives together.
We lost touch with what was important. After living in Texas for six years, I felt, the only way to
end the competition, which at this point, had resulted in a physical fight between my brother, and
husband, was to move away from the very family, we originally wanted near us. My husband and brother, could no longer work together.
We literally made a decision where to move, by laying out a map of the US, me, closing my eyes, letting my finger drop on the map, which landed on Colorado. We talked the company into letting us start a branch office in Denver, sold our beautiful home, and moved to Denver.
We now lived away, from the very family we had begged to move, to be near us, which, prior to the competitive nature, between brother and husband, was our largest support system, besides God.
We began to work together, live together, and it was just too much. I lost all my support systems, my friends living 20 minutes away, to NO friends, my family, the same, my Mother, my biggest support system, and subconsciously, I held my husband responsible, for fighting with my brother, and letting the evil spill into the good, never being able to work it out with him, ultimately, forcing us to move to Denver, a place I hated.
I lost touch with my morals and values, and changed, PERIOD. I made a “decision” to get a divorce based on selfish interests on my behalf, after two years in Denver.
We raised our children in separate homes, and my “DECISIONS” affected my husband, my children and even my family, due to the move. I never thought of the many “CONSEQUENCES’ this decision to divorce, would have on others.
My children had to go back and forth between houses, and never got to spend their growing years in one home, because of my DECISION. How was it possible that a decision I made, could affect, so many people in so many ways, not to mention the terrible pain it caused my husband who loved me with all his heart.
Sadly, I did not think my decision through. I believe that had I done so, My DECISION, would never have been what it was.
I cannot change that decision, nor all the consequences of it, or the people it hurt; The people I loved the most in the whole world. I can, however, share my story, and ask you, every single time you “MAKE” A DECISION”, especially the big ones, to think it through, and ask who/how/why questions, so you can evaluate those decisions, just a little more carefully.
It is much easier to learn from another’s mistakes, instead of your own. I hope you will decide today,
to be the one learning from another’s mistake instead of making one. SL