March 10, 2014
Are you comfortable with yourself and who you are? More importantly, are you presenting to others the real image of who you see yourself to be or, do you present a different image of who you are to others? This quality is part of putting on a “facade” of who you’d like people to think you are.
When I was in middle school, I was not the most popular person in the school. In fact, I remember the comments, today, as they were very hurtful, said some 30+ years ago. “Samantha, you run like a horse”, and I felt so inferior from the teasing, and the kids saying this, of course were “”the popular group” so it felt like I was being humiliated. I also remember entering high school, and kids coming from many middle schools, and being grateful, I was literally lost in the crowd.
I felt I had a fresh start, and I decided to take it, I decided, instead of hiding out, I would “come out”. I decided, I no longer cared who these people thought I was. What I cared about, was being myself.
I was a little eccentric. I was a little goofy. I was tall and maybe I did look like a horse when I ran! I had two choices: To put on a “Facade“, or be real, and show who I really was. I faced who I was, and looked at the good, the bad, and what I did have, which was a quirky sense of humor. I was and am still very analytical, I didn’t fit into the perfect mold. However, who really does? I began experimenting with verbalizing my flaws, making jokes about my flaws, and found people were entertained at the ability I had for making them laugh, when I laughed at myself! I found whatever I was doing, that didn’t fit into the perfect mold, was not as uncommon as I thought. Through me opening up and being myself, other people felt more comfortable being themselves as well.
I was weird, meaning different, but I could see how, and that I wasn’t special,in that sense, because we are all our own piece of art. We all are unique and different. We don’t have to put on a facade in life. We don’t have to please others, and there is no perfect way to do anything. In my mind, now, the older I get, the more I find there is something unique, weird and special in all of us. It is simply a waste of time putting on a facade, because with a facade, you promote it from another, and a real relationship, sincere and special never has the chance to develop as there is no comfort level, trying to be someone your not.
There is always something good in learning who you are and not being afraid to share your attributes, failures successes, and tribulations with others. If you find yourself in a situation with others, and feel uncomfortable, try a little humor. Verbalize what it is you feel your having trouble with, and you will find, people are not only understanding of your issues, but they begin to share theirs more often then not with you as well.
Whatever those imperfections are you think you have also known as flaws, can be seen as “beauty” in another’s eyes. What is weird? Weird, in my wisdom word definition book is a positive thing and unique and beautiful. It means character. I’ve found, by verbalizing my insecurities or viewpoints, to others, popular or not, because they come from honesty, I found I’ve gained respect.
No, I didn’t become the most popular girl in high school nor was I the high school prom queen, but I was accepted, because I had learned to accept myself. People all want “acceptance”. No matter how unique they are, they would like so badly to be accepted. What is “normal” ? Normal is being “yourself”.
Facades are simply showcases of lies and deception.