Daily Wisdom Words

NEGATIVES “WHAT PERSONALITY TRAITS ARE YOU LEAST PROUD OF?”

NEGATIVES       “WHAT PERSONALITY TRAITS ARE YOU LEAST PROUD OF?”

OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS NEGATIVES.  I USUALLY DON’T CARE TO WRITE ABOUT NEGATIVE THINGS.  BEAR WITH ME, HOWEVER…I THINK YOU will appreciate where this goes…What do I refer to as  “negatives”?  The negatives in our life are those things which hold us back.  I also call them our own”sabotagers.”  We often know our positive qualities.  I’ll use myself as an example.  For instance, one of my positive qualities is that I can be sociable and often people like my personality.  The negative portion of having a decent personality would be when friendships form, they often don’t last for me.  I have often pinpointed the issue to a lack of trusting others from being hurt in my past.  

It seems over time and pain from my past, there are very few people I trust when I invest myself in a friendship or love relationship.  Due to this lack of trust or others falling short of my expectations, I will back off and tend to end a friendship too quickly or decide it is not a friendship worth pursuing.  In other words, the “friend”  didn’t follow through with something I trusted them to be or do.  I perhaps don’t allow for much slack.  In the past, I have given my trust unconditionally, which allowed for others to fall short of this trust.  I allowed this type of behavior, and was hurt more than once.  I have had good reason(s) in many cases to end or distance friendships.  However, I do believe in a contradictory viewpoint which is that we are all human and allowed to make mistakes a real or true friend should allow room for.   In these cases, the friend is truly sorry and they recognize what they did, not repeating this mistake over and over again. 

Past trauma accounts for many reasons we have good attributes but also have a negative one which counteracts the good we do.  I am now thinking of someone else I am close to. She will do the kindest of things.  Once, however she feels taken advantage of, all derogatory, and cruel comments pour out of her.  This has nothing to do with what she did from the goodness of her heart.  However, the anger she feels inside herself when she does these good hearted acts, deters from the good feelings she felt when doing the kindest of things for another. Not only does this ruin the good feelings she has, but this affects the person experiencing the kindness from her actions. These personality traits are our negatives.  We can have many positive qualities, but when we have a negative quality which counterbalances this positive quality, sadly the overall outcome is negative.  Let us take a look at the definition of a negative according to our Webster Dictionary. 

Webster Dictionary definition of a negative-1.  Consisting in or characterized by the absence rather than the presence of distinguishing features.  2.  a word that or statement that expresses denial, disagreement or refusal.  3.  reject, refuse to accept, veto.  (partial definition)

Daily Wisdom Word definition of negative-a negative as applied to this article accounts for those traits within ourselves we find less than desirable.  2.  a sabotaging effect when a positive attribute has been displayed to countermeasure the good done with the positive good done.  

Sadly, many of us suffer with a negative counterpart that matches the positive part of our attributes hurting ourselves or others.  Like magnets, these two, the negative and positive attract to one another cancelling the power of each out.  Whichever happens last, whether it be the positive characteristic shown to another, or the negative characteristic is what “sticks” with us over time.  You see this often in abusive relationships.  First the husband physically abuses his wife.  After he has done this, due to his feelings of guilt he overkills her with kindness taking her away on an exotic trip.  If you are the receiver of these two mixed messages, it gets quite confusing.  This often explains, over time as an individual’s own self-esteem becomes a part of the sacrifice made to keep the marriage together for the couples children, or because they still love the sick partner despite his physical violence, they unhealthily develop a tolerance to the abuse in the relationship.  

We as humans are not perfect.  I just used a drastic example that explains how the negative can sabotage the positive.  What if the positive quality rather than affecting others, affects you with its negative counterpart?  We are capable of change.  If there is a negative attribute holding you back from pursuing and overcoming the negative with the positive it is well worth working on.  We, for example don’t always have a grasp with what goes on with ourselves subconsciously.  I think of myself again, as I personally have issues stopping the effectivity of positive attributes that would benefit myself in the long run.  I am going to talk to a counselor about my particular issue, and when I have a solution and am working through it, i will share it with you.  

Thanks so much for reading about “negatives” today.  Do me a favor.  When you recognize a positive quality being counterbalanced with a negative one you also have, at the very least, WRITE IT DOWN.  You may be able to deal with this if it is minor on your own.  We will never be perfect, nor do we want to be.  However, all of us would like to be the best version of ourselves we can be.  

Beneath this post is an area called “Join the discussion”.  Share with us any insights you have into the negative attributes we all have.  Do you agree with what you just read?  if so, do you see suggestions in the article as well to help you in your own life?  I would appreciate so much hearing from you!!  Samantha Leboeuf

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