OUR DAILY WISDOM WORD TODAY IS “BONDS”. BONDS ARE THE INVISIBLE LINK WE SHARE WITH OUR FAMILY. A BOND ISN’T A VISIBLE TIE. HOWEVER INVISIBLE AS IT IS, THE LOVE SHARED BETWEEN TWO SIBLINGS, DESPITE PHYSICAL DISTANCE, CAN’T BE BROKEN. SADLY, TOMORROW MY LITTLE SISTER WOULD HAVE BEEN 53 YEARS OLD TOMORROW, 9.30-2020. I never dreamed the day would come when I would lose her. My little sister, Jenny, should still be here. After-all, I am the one with the health issues.
I do have faith in God, and I do believe we all have our time. You may have heard the saying, “Only the good die young”. I believe God called Jenny home to his arms. Jen never had an easy life. Probably the best time of life with her, would have been two years prior to her death, after at 51 years old she finally connected with her soulmate.
In my opinion, another kind of bond we form is the one chosen we are to share our life with. this is the man or women we know instinctively, we are meant to be with. To truly understand my little sister, she grew through the loss of her three year old daughter. She was more determined than ever to make every moment in life count. Hillary’s life accounted for so much more than the brief three years she was on this earth.
She, at 23 years old, lost a three year old child, named Hillary. My little sister and her husband grieved, so bad in fact, it took them different directions. Although the bond they shared remained close, the love in the marriage was not as deep as the pain. However, her memory lives on forever and Jenny always made sure of this, when after remarrying, she had two more beautiful girls. Jenny did the best she could with the girls, always doing what it took after a four year marriage, which again didn’t work out. I don’t wish to share the details of her marriage, but she did try so hard to make it work.
During the time of her marriage, Jenny fully supported her two daughters, and continued to do so after it was over. Not once, did she receive an ounce of child support, other than a few spare dollars from her second husband. Any of you reading this, if you find yourself passing judgement on my sister, stop reading this now. We all make mistakes. Jenny seemed to be the only one in our family to learn from those mistakes the first time. Her two girls, the gift from this marriage were two years apart. Jenny managed, due to her intelligence, excellent math and english skills, to secure a job as a legal assistant. She amazed me through her strength. There were permanent scars however, from the loss of her first child. She constantly worried about her daughters and would check on them several times daily. She did once share with me, “Sammy, I couldn’t take losing another child.”
She loved them dearly, and wished she didn’t have to work so very hard, (60 hours a week, usually), coming home, and prepared a dinner. She then helped her girls with their school work. At this point, only one thing other than her girls, brought her joy. The water and living near it in Venice Beach, Ca. meant so much to her. That is how the girls felt as well enjoying the time they grew up with the ocean so near. My little sister was unique. She changed her name from Jennifter to Gypsy, because she was quite the singer. Gypsy matched my little sister’s soul as she longed to always feel free. This would not be freedom from her current life, but freedom of her soul when she sang and wrote music. She taught herself at a very young age to play the guitar, writing lyrics to the tune she created. This is when Jenny allowed herself to feel free.
She loved her girls so much as they grew up. She sacrificed herself and a social life to raise them. Without a father helping out, she did a fine job raising them. She had another marriage to a fellow musician, she thought her children would attach to. This, sadly didn’t happen. She ended up doing it all by herself, with no immediate family living in Southern California. She did, however have her first ex-husband who continued to allow the love he felt for Hillary, live on Through Isabella and Luma helping out when he could. She also had amazing friends who were loyal and at the drop of a hat would help. She never took advantage of Johnny, her first husband or her friends. In fact, if asked to describe my little sister as a friend or mother, she always led with love and kindness.
My nieces, now 21 and 23 are amazing. Each child is so unique, bright, gifted and talented just like their mother was. There were some rough times from Jen but she always got through them and managed it all, even taking an additional job as a gourmet cook to support them. They never lacked for anything including the love and nurturing all children needed. She managed to professionally produce a songs over the years, all of which she wrote, creating lyrics to and recording. She was beautiful. They say we most admire our “family” after death. I guess there is truth in this. Although I often told her, I never understood how she managed everything so well in her life, she always proceeded to grow, spiritually and intellectually. The girls are going through terrible grief now even after a few months. Luma, who I have always been so close to, has retreated inward with me and other family members she is close to. (NO JUDGEMENT, PLEASE). I have however, forged a stronger bond with her oldest daughter, Isabella, who is grieving tremendously outright.
If you remember, I mentioned the happiest year of Jenny’s life would have been meeting her one and only. This would be her soulmate Gregory Keim. He was someone she knew back in our highschool days, I believe, and they connected about once a year. After the children, now young women and my sister at 51, more beautiful than ever, Jenny allowed herself to finally, unconditionally love her soulmate. She finally did something for her. I think she felt that the girls had enough of their own dream pursuits and talents, she could do something about her loving, lonely heart. You may know how it feels to be lonely with so much to give, and noone to share your life with. I know I have had this feeling throughout my lifetime.
We are now back to our daily wisdom word, bonds. It did not matter how little or often I got to visit or see my little sister and nieces. Over the years, Jenny and I maintained that bond. I only wish the love I feel so rawly today, knowing she would have been 53 tomorrow, the 30th of September, I could have shown more often. I could have helped more. I could have been a more supportive sister. I could have seen them more often. I was caught up in my own dramatic life, and Jenny always found time for me whenever I had an issue. There was NO ONE I trusted more or who gave better advice. She had a gift of every kind, and any challenge she faced, she met, flourishing a successful outcome.
I have had so much support from my daily wisdom words writing community team members, and so many well meaning messages from friends on twitter and facebook as well as from my best friends. This has been most awful for her girls, but Jenny raised them with resilience and I do believe they will successfully make it through all of this, not loving their mother any less or missing her any greater as each day passes. They, like my mother, who was so very close with her youngest, have had the most difficulty with this. I ask for all of you to say a prayer from your hearts today. I ask that you pray for her girls, my mother, the wonderful husband who stood by her last horrifically painful year on this earth due from the cancer she had that ravaged her body so quickly. I will always love and miss you, my sweet, kind, talented, heartfelt, sincere sister. You live on through the girls and all the wonderful memories I have of you. We simply ran out of time in this life. I know God will eventually bring me to you in my final day. You were the brightest light in so many lives including Kelly and Patti, your closest friends. I will always love you more and miss you greater as each day passes.
Your loving sister always, Sammy. “You can find my sister’s music on Youtube under Jennifer Gypsy Keim. God bless all of you, who loved her as I do. She will live on through the lessons she left and memories made.”