With summer here, along with COVID-19, many people who have planned their weddings this summer, have had to cancel their weddings due to “social distancing” requirements. Some have opted for a ceremony in place of a wedding with immediate family. Some couples have postponed their wedding completely until next summer. There is a growing number of people who feel marriage is a sham. They feel it is no more than just a “piece of paper” or contract devoid of any feeling or emotion. Before going any further with this, let us take a look at the meaning of marriage in the Webster Dictionary and Daily Wisdom Words meaning.
Webster Definition of Marriage-The legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners a personal relationship. (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and woman.
Daily Wisdom Words Definition of Marriage-The union of forever between a couple who loves one another and wishes to commit to one another for life with God’s spiritual blessing.
Most people today, including my son who will tie the knot in just a few days feel or at one time felt marriage to be a farce. Personally, having been divorced twice, I still believe in marriage. What makes marriage different in my eyes is the union of two people who are part of a triangle which, at its point, is God. Marriage in my opinion involves the blessing of God. Ironic I would feel this way after two divorces but I still believe in it. Before meeting his fiancé, my son felt the same way. After they had been dating over a year, he would ask me questions like, ” won’t this feeling I have for her fade in time”? I told him as I will share with you, what makes marriage stop working, I believe is when we start placing our needs over our spouses.
Remember-we make a commitment to one another when we marry. a crack in this commitment is when we do place our own needs first. If we are each giving 100% to one another, I believe any issue can be worked through as long as we truly know and agree “prior to marriage” where each person stands on major issues and there has been honest, open communication prior to the marriage about these differences or similarities, and how issues will be handled.
For example, one party wants children, and the other doesn’t. This should be discussed obviously before committing to marriage. Before writing this, I pulled up an article on the internet published in 2010 about marriage in, “Psychology Today”. As I suspected, those couples who live together without engagement either tend never to get married, or do and have a higher risk of failure when they finally do tie the knot.
I think we all have the best intentions of succeeding when we do get married. Research shows that while, “opposites may attract”, couples who have similar interests have a higher success rate. Is marriage simply put, “Just a piece of paper?” Personally I believe committing under the “eyes of God”, we tend to take marriage more seriously. One final thing I believe in is this. Communication and a high level of Commitment to making a marriage work, equals success! Marriage truly is what you make it. You and your partner can experience, “till death do you part” If there is a high level of commitment, you don’t live together without being engaged prior to moving in as one, and communicate with one another placing your love for them first, before your own needs. Sound silly? The other party must be putting your needs before their own as well for marriage to remain symbiotic.
I do believe what separates marriage from simply living together, is not the piece of paper. It is about both couples valuing commitment and forever and communication prior to ever committing and HONESTY. If you already have a great attraction to one another, that tips your scale to success even higher.
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