“If someone seriously wants to be a part of your life, they will seriously make an effort to be in it.”
-Unknown
If you’re read my previous articles on this site, you’ll notice that one thing I always stress on is never giving up on anything that’s a passion and close to your heart no matter how many obstacles come in your way. But are there exceptions to that philosophy? Are there instances when giving up will actually be advantageous?
As human beings, we can only try to embark on any endeavor to the best of our abilities. We cannot, by law of nature, be perfect at anything. There comes a stage in life when the unlikely becomes impossible, literally.
There are many such examples of this but one I’ve encountered recently has led me to have another perspective on things. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
Recently, I’ve had a couple of friends and family members who are not doing so well emotionally. They seem to have one roadblock after another.
From my point of view, I’ve tried to be as supportive as I can, at least emotionally. I obviously can’t do much physically.
For example, one of those friends needs a bypass surgery. While their physiology is out of my control, I can at least attempt to offer brief moments of joy and content.
I’ve tried sending them positive messages. I’ve made it clear that I’m there for them.
But in that person’s mind, I apparently wasn’t. Slowly but surely, they increased their distance and they went from hours to days before responding. And the responses went from detailed to terse. That stung a bit because I thought I that person would appreciate some positivity in difficult times.
But as I thought about it, I realized my anxiety over that person’s well-being was doing me more harm than good. If I keep showing my support and they clearly don’t want it, I’m being more stressed about it than I need to be. By talking to a brick wall, I’m wasting my voice and energy.
When we see friends and family hurting, we want to help them. That’s natural, especially if you’re an empath.
But help has to start with the person themselves. They have to let their guard down and allow it in. Until then, anything and everything we do is futile.
Care for others as much as you can. Shower them with love as often as you can. But make sure they want it and more importantly, accept it.
Have you had experiences trying to help someone that resulted in futility? How did that make you feel? Were you able to treat it with nonchalance or did it hurt? Do you feel there’s a limit to offering help to someone who doesn’t want it? Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below on our secure servers.
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