experiences

Timing can be the key to many things from start to finish.  Most of us have seen at some point in our life how timing plays a key role.  I remember a relationship I had where I truly felt I had met my soulmate.  When I met him, he lived in Denver, and we dated.  I was so infatuated with him as I found him fascinating and so intelligent.  He was also kind, thoughtful and had a depth about him that prior to meeting him, I hadn’t seen.  I remember walking into a restaurant to meet him for dinner.  We had been seeing each other just a little over a month, and I saw him sitting in the distance at our table.  The hostess asked if she could seat me, and I said I was meeting someone there and this is when I noticed he was already seated.  I won’t forget this “moment in time” obviously in my lifetime, because this happened over fifteen years ago prior to me writing this today.  I had on high heels and was nervous I might trip in them after seeing him at our table.  I was not at the stage where I felt comfortable with him yet.  As I walked up to the table, he got up and pulled out the chair for me.  He said, “I saw you walk in.  You lit the whole place up with your smile.”  Perhaps this sounds cheesy to some people but John had a way of saying something and you knew he was being sincere.  I knew I was falling hard and fast for him.  

He had mentioned in passing there was a small possibility be could be moving to Chicago from Denver, (where we lived at the time) for a job promotion.  He said, ” I don’t know why I bring this up to you, because I honestly don’t feel it will happen.”  Sure enough, I found out two weeks later he was moving.  I never forgot about John.  If you read my last daily wisdom word, it was about living in the “present”.  There was no discussion with John about continuing the relationship if that is what we would call it at this stage, after he moved.  I did receive a few phone calls from him, and about 8 months after he moved, he came back to Denver to see a game.  (He worked in sports, and I knew the reason for his visit was business). He had given me a heads up he might be in Denver a month prior to this.  Apparently this was the weekend, because my phone rang about ten o’clock on a Friday night, about a month later.  John was on the other end, and I could tell he had a few drinks on board.  He asked me to join him and his friends at a sports bar not too far from my home.  I did, and needless to say, we spent the rest of the weekend together.  He always kept his distance emotionally, however.  He called a little more often after this trip, and we would chat.  He might bring up an issue he was having, seeking advice.  He called me his “best friend”. In the meantime, we lost touch for a while.  I found out that a new job I had taken required two weeks of training in Chicago.  

Since I felt the relationship was more weighted emotionally on my side, I thought it best not to contact him.  I did, however against my better judgement.  This “friendship” rekindled itself the first night I called him.   He was as nice and charming as ever, but this was easy for him.  Sounds like a player, doesn’t he?  It crossed my mind many times, but he confided in me some very personal issues that I felt he would not share unless he truly had some depth of feeling for me.  He mentioned to me a few months later he had interviewed in Hawaii for another job.  He said he gave it very little chance of flourishing into employment.  Two weeks later, I found out he was moving to Hawaii.  At this point, I knew I was in love with him.  I am a very strong willed woman, and I learned a valuable lesson:  Our timing was off.  In fact, before he left to Hawaii the last time I saw him I told him how I felt.  he said this:  “If I had met you at a different time in my life or a different place, who knows where this relationship might have gone?”  Timing is vital, but not everything. There would have been a way to work around this issue out if I had meant to him what he did to me.  He wasn’t forced to take that job.  Because most of my posts have been so serious lately, I picked a story from my past that was not as serious as the example is that I will end this opinion of mine with.    Timing plays a crucial role in our lives. Timing is very important, but commitment and love are more important so timing isn’t everything.

I think of my little sister again as I share with you my opinion on timing.  I remember just after she married, approximately one year before her death, she said to me, “Sammy, wouldn’t it be sad if after all of this time waiting, I finally am with Mr. Right, and this Cancer, (she had only been diagnosed a few months earlier) killed me?”  I said, “Jen, that is not going to happen.  We know how this story unfolded with her passing just recently.  Was the timing off in their relationship as well?  Jenny was a person wise beyond her years.  They both knew what they were faced with.  I don’t think any of us thought we would lose her over the disease.  If I asked her this question, she would say, “Sammy, it is better to experience a love that deep than not to love at all”.  None of us knows what the future holds.  I have shared with you two situations that should cause anyone to think. Their timing wasn’t off.  They shared more happiness in the short period of time they were together that most of us will share in a lifetime with someone.  No, their.  This time was the happiest I saw her in her life as far as being in love with the man of your dreams and it was shared on both ends.  I know this may sound like a cliche’, but it is better to have loved one another in this time and space than to not have loved at all. Her husband wouldn’t trade that time with her, despite taking care of her and the heartache now, although part of grieving is acceptance and peace and we cannot say when another’s time is to experience this or change the sadness.  We can however, keep the happiness in our memories and our heart.   My biggest point?  NONE of us knows what is around the corner.  “timing is everything”.  However, if you weigh one side of the scale of being completely bonded to another human being who felt the same way you did and you loved one another so deeply, the question becomes, was the “TIME” worth it?  Timing is everything but who is to say the joy and happiness they felt together wasn’t worth a lifetime?  Thank you for reading.

Samantha LeBoeuf